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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refer to a black man as a black man

574 replies

ShakeRattleNRoll · 03/10/2013 23:55

The other day i was talking about this black man who lives down the road to a neighbour and she said it was politically incorrect of me to say 'you know that black man who lives there' after I had said it.I thought well i never.What's wrong with calling him a black man when he is a black man? How should have I described him? TYIA

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 03/10/2013 23:56

Person of colour is correct at the moment

GangstersLoveToDance · 03/10/2013 23:57

Person of colour? Seriously?

Opalite · 03/10/2013 23:57

I am pretty much certain that black is correct, other terms such as 'coloured' can be offensive and considered a bit silly/ignorant by some

AmberLeaf · 03/10/2013 23:58

person of colour? at the moment? says who?

OP, you could have said the man that lives down the road? what were you saying about him anyway, whatever you were talking about surely would have been enough to mention? was his colour relevant to the conversation?

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 03/10/2013 23:59

YABU if there was no need to say he was Black. Nothing to do with 'person of colour' which I think is American anyway.

It's nothing to do with phrases being trendy or not, just whether you needed to refer to him as black.

GangstersLoveToDance · 04/10/2013 00:00

I'm assuming that being black would have been his most different/distinguishing feature?

The op would hardly have used 'the black man...' as a description if there were multiple black men around.

thebody · 04/10/2013 00:00

person of colour. okayyyy

Original poster
ShakeRattleNRoll · 04/10/2013 00:02

well as he has been the only black man to live in that street for twenty years i thought it was a good way of describing when i was talking about him in passing.I thought what a load of old cobblers my neighbour said 'i would not say that WHITE BLOKE' Confused.I think I might ask him and see what he prefers

OP posts:
DaleyBump · 04/10/2013 00:02

"Person of colour" is actually really un-pc because technically we're all colours. Black is the correct term.

FreudiansSlipper · 04/10/2013 00:02

the guy who lives at number 22, the one who is a fireman, the one who drives a porche

i am sure there was some other way to let her know who you were talking about

Original poster
ShakeRattleNRoll · 04/10/2013 00:03

I had given the black man a present and I wanted to tell my neighbour about it

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 04/10/2013 00:03

Person of colour is correct at the moment

Is it? I haven't heard anyone say that. I just wondered whether it was at all relevant to talk about "that black man". If he wasn't black (or of colour or whatever) how would you have described him? That man at number 6. X's Dad. The man with the Volvo.

Maybe your friend thinks it is politically incorrect that the first thing you think of to identify him is the colour of his skin.

ScarletLady02 · 04/10/2013 00:03

If you were trying to distinguish him from others and using his colour was the only thing you could mention, I see no issue. In that context it's the same as "you know that blond girl"

My best friend is black with mixed race children and she has never objected to people calling her black.

Her child however got called a "nasty mixed breed cunt"....

Now THAT is racist Shock

GangstersLoveToDance · 04/10/2013 00:04

Why on earth would you hunt around for another description if 'black' is easier? It's not a dirty word Hmm

5Foot5 · 04/10/2013 00:04

Pretty much X-post with FreudianSlipper!

skyeskyeskye · 04/10/2013 00:04

I would say black as a descriptive word in the way that you might say tall, blonde, large, ginger, or whatever term best described the person. Some people will always find offence no matter what you say.

BiBiBroccoli · 04/10/2013 00:06

ooh no, not person of colour! Hideous expression IMO.

Fine to describe someone as a black man, no different to referring to any other physical attributes. It actually drives me slightly mad when people will describe everything but a skin colour 'ooh, you know Sandra, she wears that blue coat, and has short hair, used to drive an Audi, has purple curtains, likes scarves' etc etc etc, anything to avoid saying that Sandra is black/white/asian whatever.

RoadToTuapeka · 04/10/2013 00:06

When I was working in a London local authority (only left in Jan this year) there was an officially set up BME group (black and ethnic minority) group, and in our reports eg to full Council etc, we had to include a section on impacts on BME groups. Hence I would use the term black person as a non-offensive descriptive term if necessary but only if it was an essential descriptive term (ie couldn't use another signifier such that tall man in the blue shirt); after all I don't say oh look at that white lady's lovely dress etc.

Original poster
ShakeRattleNRoll · 04/10/2013 00:07

well i couldn't guess what he was wearing because I hadn't seen him and i didn't know the number to the house and i don't think he's a fireman but he's most probably hung like one judging by his size.I could have mentioned his transport .I wasn't being racist thats for sure because i'm not a racist.The proof was in the pudding after I gave him a present.

OP posts:
MardyBra · 04/10/2013 00:07

It's tricky isn't it. You could have spent ages skirting around the issue, saying things like " the bloke with the brown scarf" or "the man who puts his wheely bin out really early" but those wouldn't give much of a clue.

I think the issue is whether it is a distinguishing feature. So you'd say the black man, the woman with red hair, the older man with the dog, etc if you were trying to distinguish from others living in the street.

If you were just telling an anecdote and happened to mention someone's race, then it is not acceptable. So, in the example, "I was on the bus, and a black man got on and started to... (whatever)", then it's not right to mention the person's race unless it was specifically relevant.

MardyBra · 04/10/2013 00:08

x posted with loads of people

RoadToTuapeka · 04/10/2013 00:08

Oops should be minority ethnic groups not ethnic minority.

ScarletLady02 · 04/10/2013 00:08

I personally believe if my group of friends were out and about (and my friend is the only black one)...we're all women of a similar age, shape etc....

I think she'd be more pissed at someone trying really hard NOT to say black.

We had some Jehovah's Witness people come round the other day and previously my friend had answered the door...trying to listen to them say every other describing word for the person who answered and avoiding black was actually hilarious. "Your friend answered last time....female...pretty....tall...athletic..." you could see them squirming...we just said "what the black one??"

AmberLeaf · 04/10/2013 00:08

I had given the black man a present and I wanted to tell my neighbour about it

Is that all he is? the black man?

If you had given him a present then surely you know enough about him to describe him without having to mention his colour.

my neighbour said 'i would not say that WHITE BLOKE

She's right, you wouldn't would you?

Why ask him? it isn't really about whether or not he prefers being called black, it is the fact that his colour is the only thing you chose to describe him.

GangstersLoveToDance · 04/10/2013 00:09

I'm just thinking about the descriptions I have used when describing random people to df.

I have used 'the pregnant woman', 'the teacher', 'the Indian boy', 'the one with the massive tits', 'the tiny little shy one'.

All recently. When describing unknown people, you pick a descriptive factor - one that is likely to immediately single out the individual you are trying to describe for ease of story telling.