To refer to a black man as a black man

[ShakeRattleNRoll]

The other day i was talking about this black man who lives down the road to a neighbour and she said it was politically incorrect of me to say 'you know that black man who lives there' after I had said it.I thought well i never.What's wrong with calling him a black man when he is a black man? How should have I described him? TYIA

DeVere - I don't want you to go to bed upset either. You do count, but so does fifi.

Gotta say that mn is the place I'd never come to for multiculturalism.

My real life is because we are but not in an mn way.

Person of colour! Haha. That is so mumsnet. Yuck. You did nothing wrong OP. black is not a dirty word. Why shouldn't you say he was black. Dh Bessie mate is black and we always describe him as black Paul so as not to confuse him with brother in law Paul when chatting with other people.

I had a similar incident at work. I was talking to a bloke who works on the door, and lots of women work where I work. He asked me which one Karen was, for whatever reason. I instantly said She's the black girl'. There's loads of women where I work, she's the only girl who's black. What else should I have said?The girl with short bobbed hair (loads of girls like that!) the girl wearing black?(Again, wouldn't really narrow it down)!
Why is it wrong to say the black girl.
For the record I would have felt more awkward about it had I said one of the above other descriptions and eventually he'd realised and wondered why I made a point of not saying the black girl. What else could I have said-the girl of colour?The girl with dark skin-a lot of women I work with have dark skin.
I discussed it with Karen afterwards and she said she wasn't bothered at all by what I said, she's black, she knows she's black. It isn't a criticism to be black! And any other term to describe what is her most prominent feature, means the exact same thing.

"Why is it wrong to say the black girl. "

Well, if she is over 18 black woman would be better.

But, apart from that, as everybody has said on this thread, it isn't. If it is the best and easiest any of describing somebody it's fine to say black.

MrsDV, not often that I disagree with you but posters did say that Fifi should fear for her unborn child, that she was wincingly thick, a fool of shit etc etc. It wasn't just her opinions that were disagreed with.

MrsDV, not saying you did or that you are a bully or you are responsible for anyone else.

I'm just saying that some posters did make unpleasant personal comments about her and didn't just disagree with her opinions.

I got deleted very quickly for trying to explain to Fifi how her posts came across. I find this very baffling when some quite unpleasant posts were left standing......

I am blind (almost). It probably is a distinguishing characteristic.

I would be pretty shocked if I thought I was known to people around me generally as 'the blind woman'. It's just not how i think of myself. There's nothing wrong with being blind (other than it being a complete PITA) but it is only one element of me.

As far as I know, people who don't know my name refer to me as 'X's mum, the one who lives on Y corner, the one who's a Z (job), the person organising ZZZ. And so on. In different circumstances a different characteristic is most relevant. I dare say that sometimes I'm referenced as 'the one who's always bumping into things' but hopefully not always.

I suggested she do any potential mixed race child a favour and educate herself.

She found this thread 'hilarious' and was quite offensive herself.

I say she got off lightly.

Amber, there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with a poster, or saying that their views offend you etc etc. I constantly learn on Mumsnet & I like heated debates because it makes me glad that people give a toss.

What always pisses me off, is when people start hurling abuse at a poster or posters. At the end of the day, we are all people - I know we post with anonymity on here but someone is sitting there reading that posters fear for their unborn child or think they are repugnantly stupid, a face of shit or whatever else was said. Even being told I must be a Daily Mail reader is slanderous in my opinion!

I just don't understand why it isn't possible to disagree - as vehemently as you like - without some people resorting to comments about the person themselves.

Wincingly thick was me. I said fifi was either being 'wincingly thick or goadily obtuse', I couldn't decide which. I stand by it.

Fifi came on this thread being rather aggressive, appearing not to have read or absorbed what had already been said, and being dismissive of other posters. She has now rounded up her contribution by stating she is upset and not going to comment further.

I have not gone out of my way to upset her or anyone else, but perhaps posters should reflect on how upsetting some of the contributions like hers are to those black and bi-racial posters (of which I am one) who actually live these issues as an ever present and often worrying reality, rather than as a talk topic we can pick up when we feel like it and forget about the rest of the time.

I think if you are going to post the way she did, then don't be surprised if you get feedback.

Eldritch hear hear.

Yep, expect feedback on what you said, on the opinion you had not on you as a person.

If you said to someone in a discussion at work, you are thick, or a face of shit - then you'd be up for a warning at the very least - why is it ok on here?

It is a bugbear of mine & is not at all related to the original point of the thread, so I'll stop now.

"Yep, expect feedback on what you said, on the opinion you had not on you as a person."

I did that. Got deleted. The insults remain.

I did. I referred to fifi's postings on the thread, I didn't purport to describe her as a person. Which is why my post stands and has not been deleted as a personal attack.

It was feedback on the opinion though.

If you read towards the start of this thread I have been personally insulted by another poster, based on my opinions and experiences. I was insulted [called an utter moron-was deleted so you may not have seen it] and various other things, But I haven't said I'm being bullied and that was purely because someone disagreed with my opinion, not because I posted offensively.

You can't come on to a thread saying you find it 'hilarious' and then get all butthurt when people respond.

A face of shit?

sorry, it was "you are a fool of shit...."

I took it to be a misspelling of full of shit!

I have avoided this thread like the plague because I knew I would read something that would make me angry, but hey, my morbid curiosity overtook my sensibilities and here I am.

I come from a more diverse background than most folk, My family is VERY diverse and I am what is considered a 'mulatto' in many parts of the world.

I HATE when people identify African/Caribbean people by the colour of their skin, which is a stupid thing to do anyway. For example, my DD is mixed and many would call her a 'black girl' BUT SHE ISN'T!! Her skin tone is caramel if you want to apply an accurate colour to description to her, NOT BLACK! If someone identified her by calling her a 'black girl', I would be massively offended and they would hear about it. In mixed heritage people, it also fails to acknowledge their non African/Caribbean heritage.

Using black as an umbrella term to describe people of African/Caribbean heritage is offensive because it has been a way of making them an 'other' and alien social group by those who would wish to exploit them for generations. It also encourages an environment where African/Caribbean culture and heritage can be ignored to dehumanise the 'black man'. By calling someone a 'black man' instead of acknowledging his individual and more personal identifiers, you 'other' him.

People are not black and they are not white. I identify people by the continents, countries and cities they come from if I have to. But for the most part, I identify people by their names or characteristics. For example, 'that guy with the afro', or 'the lady from Kenya with the braids'. It isn't hard to do.

Because of the history of racial discrimination in this country and many others, calling someone a 'black man' is offensive to many who are educated enough to understand the connotations.

I am working class BTW.

Hang on. So you are massively offended by the use of the universally accepted term for people of colour? And you would rather somebody described your dd as "the caramel coloured girl" than "the black girl"?

And you describe yourself as a "mulatto"?

Wow.i think I am out of my depth.

"or 'the lady from Kenya with the braids'. "

How do you knows she's from Kenya? She might be from Basingstoke. Or Nigeria. Or Paris.