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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DH is having a wank...

186 replies

Hobnobber · 22/12/2012 23:43

Right now. In the bathroom. Downstairs.

I'm not 100% sure but he's gone in there with his mobile (like he does when he goes in for a número 2, but he never "goes" at night. He thinks I am sleeping as I came up to bed about 30-40 minutes ago.

The wanker.

OP posts:
BigShinyBaubles · 22/12/2012 23:45

What a Tosser. Smile

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake · 22/12/2012 23:46

How annoying, you could be getting some if he wasn't on his own with it.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 22/12/2012 23:48

Maybe you should go and tell him you aren't asleep Xmas Wink or are you actually quite happy he's 'sorting himself out'?

But why the downstairs bathroom - surely there's somewhere nicer in your house than that!?

Selks · 22/12/2012 23:48

I think you should go and knock on the loo door and ask him. Just say MN wants to know Grin

D0G · 22/12/2012 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Hobnobber · 22/12/2012 23:49

It's been 10 minutes now.... Hmm Confused

I wish I could stealthily creep downstairs and burst into the bathroom. Scare the shit out of him...see what he is up to...he thinks he is so cunning.

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 22/12/2012 23:49

Uh oh - also just realised where this thread will end up.

AgentZigzag · 22/12/2012 23:49

Is it a bit odd that you keep such a close eye on his 'numero 2' itinerary?

And what he takes in there?

I don't mean this in a shitty way (so to speak), but there's no other way of saying it (sorry) but WTF has him deciding to have a wank got to do with you?

Would you comment on it if you found him to have banged out a quick one?

Would you be OK with him commenting on whether you had?

(have I over thought what was supposed to be a lighthearted thread? Grin)

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 22/12/2012 23:49

Go on!

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 22/12/2012 23:50

Ziggy - I think that's a definite possibility Xmas Grin

BalthierBunansa · 22/12/2012 23:50

Perhaps you should 'toss' him out of the bathroom OP Xmas Grin

MrsKeithRichards · 22/12/2012 23:51

Take a picture

D0G · 22/12/2012 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GaryBuseysTeeth · 22/12/2012 23:52

10 mins for a wank?!
You sure he's not doing #2?

Original poster
Hobnobber · 22/12/2012 23:53

OK, this is weird, he has just turned the light off and he is still in the bathroom with the door closed. No flushing of the toilet until about 40 seconds later...that's so fucking weird...

OP posts:
Softlysoftly · 22/12/2012 23:53

Oh bless him leave him be with his shameful shameful act :)

hhhhhhh · 22/12/2012 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vintageviolets · 22/12/2012 23:53

Ring/text him, spoil the moment Grin

D0G · 22/12/2012 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 22/12/2012 23:54

Chipping might have meant I may be over thinking things a tad D0G?

I did try to say it as nicely as possible

ChameleonCircuit · 22/12/2012 23:54

He's testing his glow in the dark wank sock. Xmas Grin

WorraLorraTurkey · 22/12/2012 23:55

I tried to turn this OP around and imagine a male poster saying this about his wife....

But I keep going from laughing ridiculously loud, to feeling creeped out that not only would a guy keep such close tabs on his wife's shitting and wanking activities...but that he'd start a thread on a public forum to discuss it with total strangers Xmas Blush

God bless MN and all who posts on it!! Xmas Grin

M0naLisa · 22/12/2012 23:55

No answer for turning light off but are you sure he hasn't got the shits. It's going round.

Softlysoftly · 22/12/2012 23:55

More romantic by the glow of his phone screen that in full 100watt glory? Is he the sensitive type? Can you smell candle wicks?

2anddone · 22/12/2012 23:55

Could be worse he could be lying next to you doing it while thinking you are asleep Confused