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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that DH is having a wank...

186 replies

Hobnobber · 22/12/2012 23:43

Right now. In the bathroom. Downstairs.

I'm not 100% sure but he's gone in there with his mobile (like he does when he goes in for a número 2, but he never "goes" at night. He thinks I am sleeping as I came up to bed about 30-40 minutes ago.

The wanker.

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Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 01:19

That's funny right there!!

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ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 01:20

fank god its on line and i never have to deal with any of you.

WhoPutTheDickOnTheSnowman · 23/12/2012 01:20

Oh ffs, Hobnobber.

DH wants to know why his wanks aren't good enough for MN perusal, he has wank insecurity now so I have to pretend be interested and confirm that, to me, he is the biggest wanker.

He would like you to know that twice now his intended plan was interrupted because he got stuck on Contre Jour.

I am not happy with you right now as I am forced to listen to the best wanking anecdotes to help choose one for the top spot....thanks. So much.

vintageviolets · 23/12/2012 01:21

Does he seem lighter on his feet?

A little flushed?

Maybe he ordered a kebab & ate it in the loo?

ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 01:26

discussing wanks on line? blimey how far have we come? I never really thought that it would come to this? It's not equality.

MajesticWhine · 23/12/2012 01:28

Ask him for a quickie and see if he's up for it

ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 01:29

Speaking and acting like shit doesn't get us there it really doesnt. Im disappointed in you lot i really am.

AnAirOfHopeInAManger · 23/12/2012 01:31

We are all equally at gutter level thanks.

(Dd looks so cute being checky)

Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 01:32

He's lying down (poss tired from all the exertion) so can't tell if he's light on his feet.

His cheeks are a bit flushed.

It asking him for a quickie in case he is up for it!! ( have you SEEN what the time is!)

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ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 01:33

doing the "blokey" thing is whats wrong now. The one big thing women should hate is the way everyone puts someone down and from what ive seen here you arent helping. No said you should act like a bloke, i say you shouldnt.

Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 01:34

Hey, Clipped, for someone who's sooo disgusted, you sure do hang about on this thread.

I thought you had lightened up but maybe not.

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Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 01:35

I am very disappointed in you.

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ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 01:35

we dont want to go to gutter level though do we? unbelievable. and yes i can say twits. very wrong twits.

AgentZigzag · 23/12/2012 01:36

Do you think Clipped, in a way, that we should be able to discuss our wanking habits online (S'OK, I'm not going to over share Grin)

A man should be able to talk and maybe even laugh about what he thinks about his DWs wanking habits, why the fuck not??

Nowt to be ashamed of.

Talking about what a bloke gets up to when he's choking his chicken does bring out the infantile oppressed Englishness in me, I just can't help it.

I know womens sexuality has been held against them for a long time now, but it doesn't necessarily have to be like that.

Mindless vipers Women howling talking about a bloke wanking hasn't got anything to do with controlling the man or it being sinister, so does it have to be that way if a man came on saying the same?

Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 01:37

I see your "twits" and I raise you - "twix"!!

Midnight snack attack!!

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ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 01:38

its not about being the same. Its about bringing it all up a level. If you think that being the same as a lot of men is giving you power then im sad about that.

ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 01:41

Its not about joining and doing better in those stakes. its about changing mindset not "joining" it.

anyhing you can do, i can do better just makes wrong more powerful.

AgentZigzag · 23/12/2012 01:43

If you're talking about equality though Clipped, and men have most of the power, yeah, I would say I'd do the same things as them to get that power - if I wanted it.

But whether I'd be stooping to get it or just raising my game is debatable.

Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 01:43

This is 2012. Welcome to the pleasure dome.

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vintageviolets · 23/12/2012 01:44

I've had crunchy nut cornflakes, a tea & a crunchie.

Relax, its Xmas eve tomorrow Xmas Wink

Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 01:45

Clipped your 2 last posts were contradictory!

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AgentZigzag · 23/12/2012 01:49

You're doing better than me nobber, I couldn't quite get my head round the second post.

I was trying to work out whether the amount I'd had to drink was enough to not be able to make sense of 'anyhing you can do, i can do better just makes wrong more powerful.'

But because I've had a bit to drink, I'm just not sure Confused

ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 01:50

id never go on line and discuss what you do? its wrong

vintageviolets · 23/12/2012 01:52

Im hitting Sainsbo's in 7 hours, if anyone wants anything?

I feel like we are old friends after our stake out tonight Grin

Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 01:54

Agent - I'm so tired I can't type anymore! Grin

Clipped - You're effing well doing it now!

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