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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DH is having a wank...

186 replies

Hobnobber · 22/12/2012 23:43

Right now. In the bathroom. Downstairs.

I'm not 100% sure but he's gone in there with his mobile (like he does when he goes in for a número 2, but he never "goes" at night. He thinks I am sleeping as I came up to bed about 30-40 minutes ago.

The wanker.

OP posts:
BluelightsAndSirens · 23/12/2012 00:24

At this time of night I would ask him straight out with a smile on your face if he was wanking.

Dottiespots · 23/12/2012 00:24

ha ha ha ha ha ha OMG ...fishcalledwonder.....you made me laugh so much.

ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 00:24

If i had to go on line to mumsnet and tell that my other half was having a wank then I'd either be very beyond normal sharing or theres something else going on because this is a bit yuck.

AgentZigzag · 23/12/2012 00:26

Going to sniff out the evidence...no...that just isn't right Grin

Look, just go and fucking ask him - for all our sakes Grin

Even though I know it's wrong and it's his own private business, you've dragged us all in on your DH's possible wanking, I we need to know now.

(but seriously, along with thinking like this, I can't help thinking how mortified I'd be if DH discussed his theories on my possible wanking patterns over the internet. Would your DH be OK with you posting what you have? If you think he would be - fair enough, I'll know for sure that I'm over thinking it, I mean, posters post loads of things their DPs wouldn't like don't they? (I'm rambling now as well as over thinking it aren't I?))

WorraLorraTurkey · 23/12/2012 00:27

Can you imagine a predominantly male forum where a man starts the same thread about his wife? Grin

No, I can't eitherXmas Grin

ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 00:28

It's wrong in all areas.

WorraLorraTurkey · 23/12/2012 00:28

X posted Ziggers Grin

AnAirOfHopeInAManger · 23/12/2012 00:28

There is nothing yuk about having a wank. Its a normal human activity Hmm

Original poster
Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 00:28

clipped why is it a weird set up?

Mine is a happy home. I am just wondering if my husband is having a wank because he thought I was fast asleep. I used the skills that I acquired from watching Sherlock on bbc1 to ascertain whether on not he did indeed knock one out.

My tests were inconclusive. The toilet did not reek (as it usually does when he takes a dump) and therefore could not interrogate him as planned.

OP posts:
ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 00:30

To come on line a tell your other half maybe having a wank is too much information and just damn wrong.

vintageviolets · 23/12/2012 00:31

Would an U.V light help in your investigation?

BluelightsAndSirens · 23/12/2012 00:31

I'm with hob, as I seasoned MN user I do turn to you lot before anything else these days, I class you all as friends you fucking muppets.

Have you checked his phone yet? Wank = sleep for us in this house

ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 00:31

Some things need to remain private and you doing this isn't nice on your partner...

AgentZigzag · 23/12/2012 00:32

I do know people like that though Clipped, who come out with something that should have stayed between them/their DP in a crowded pub and everyone turns round to stare in silence (like my friend loudly and publicly over sharing that her DP had managed to jizz in his own eye).

Dottiespots · 23/12/2012 00:32

but its soooooo funnnnnyyyy!!!!

AnAirOfHopeInAManger · 23/12/2012 00:32

No a male would not post it about his wife because he would know some tosser would ask for photos or for her number or if they could watch. Right?

fishcalledwonder · 23/12/2012 00:32

Ooh yes, this definitely calls for a UV light! Put in a request for his phone records too.

Original poster
Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 00:33

Well bluelights, at least you can comprehend why I'm here!!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 23/12/2012 00:33

'I used the skills that I acquired from watching Sherlock on bbc1 to ascertain whether on not he did indeed knock one out.'

Bahahahahahahaha Grin

WorraLorraTurkey · 23/12/2012 00:35

No a male would not post it about his wife because he would know some tosser would ask for photos or for her number or if they could watch. Right?

Errm possibly right

Or then again, he may have no interest in discussing his wife's intensely private moments with strangers Lol.....

Original poster
Hobnobber · 23/12/2012 00:35

Am I about to share this thread with him???

Errr, NO!!!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 23/12/2012 00:36

ClippedPhoenix -

'Some things need to remain private and you doing this isn't nice on your partner... '

awsangel -

'but its soooooo funnnnnyyyy!!!!'

These two posts just go together too Grin

They kind of sum up the conflict the thread's provoked in me.

WorraLorraTurkey · 23/12/2012 00:37

God no, you've shared it with the rest of the world...why would you let him know that? Grin

ClippedPhoenix · 23/12/2012 00:37

Nah, if you love your partner you wouldnt do this, its very off. Or the other person doesnt understand boundaries.. It's not a share thing.

fishcalledwonder · 23/12/2012 00:37

But surely the point is that we ARE strangers. I'm sure that whilst writing the post OP wasn't simultaneously texting all her mates or her MIL!