To think that DH is having a wank...

[Hobnobber]

Right now. In the bathroom. Downstairs.

I'm not 100% sure but he's gone in there with his mobile (like he does when he goes in for a número 2, but he never "goes" at night. He thinks I am sleeping as I came up to bed about 30-40 minutes ago.

The wanker.

I'm pretty 1000% sure she means me inAir!!!

Yes I did and beyond
But i guess if you need to do this stuff?

Good because i had my buns ready. You cant go round calling people twits because they have a different point of view than you.

A twit a woo

Is he still in there?

Ok you can but its not very nice and it hurts their feeling.

I don't mind saying I'm a bit of a twit.

I'm a bit worse than a twit tbh, but I don't give a toss.

I really want to know now, op, just go and ask him, then report back!

O M G .

I've just figured it out.

He's mumsnetting from the loo, dirty dirty boy, he's clippedphoenix.

youse in trouble op.....

We need to know. Go ask and report back what his answer is

I feel sad for you to have to come on line and make things up. Its not smart nor funny, it's needy and i wish at christmas i could help you.

What? So you're glad clipped called me a twit instead of you. Fine. Pass me those buns you brought out, I will have to throw them myself!! even though she did say "and beyond", which meant you too

Can we stop twitting please & focus on 'The job in hand'

Has he come out yet? If my DH was in a locked bathroom with the lights off for over an hour I would be knock to check he is ok.

No he is out and downstairs. His phone is in his pocket.

How should I broach the subject?

Get up, go downstairs for a drink and ask if he is alright.

What are you both doing downstairs? You were both in bed an hour ago is he watching t.v?

depends on the hands and the penis really... are they small or is the penis small? or can it just not happen?

Clipped - you are coming across as more jovial.

What did you do to relieve your frustration?

How about 'Sooo...did you have a wank when you were in the bog with your mobile for so long Darling Husband? - Everyone On The Internet wants to know' OP.

Get y'sen downstairs then...

I am in bed and he is downstairs watching TV.

I asked him if he is ok and he said he is fine thanks, why am I asking?

I thought he may have fallen asleep in the loo
www.google.co.uk/search?tbm=isch&source=mog&gl=uk&tab=wi&q=man%20asleep%20on%20toilet&sa=N&biw=320&bih=416#i=13

Is this him?

I laught too much and wake my baby up now i have to feed her again
(She keeps bitting my nipples and grinning)

'I asked him if he is ok and he said he is fine thanks, why am I asking?'

There you go, he's handed you the opening on a platter.

She'd only have woken up just after you'd gone to sleep else Manger.