To think that DH is having a wank...

[Hobnobber]

Right now. In the bathroom. Downstairs.

I'm not 100% sure but he's gone in there with his mobile (like he does when he goes in for a número 2, but he never "goes" at night. He thinks I am sleeping as I came up to bed about 30-40 minutes ago.

The wanker.

Oh HOB you have to!! I would LOVE to see his face is the plant started talking to him! JUST his FACE mind you!

Al long as its not a webcam - Even I have limits to spying/stalking

I lost my SOH with my placenta. If you find it you can keep it thanks

Wanking, how erm... male of him...he obviously cannot wait for his yearly present

Bloody Wanker!

Oh no that's me.....

Well if I had suspected what he'd been doing, as soon as he got into bed I would have demanded to be serviced and see if he could manage it!

With his phone?? He's having an affair and wanking over pix the OW has sent him. LTB now.

We'll know soon enough tinker, the OP's going to set up a webcam with a microphone/speakers in their pot plants and link it up so we can all perv on what he's up to in there and judge for ourselves.

I think she said she was going to set it up tonight...or something...

Does he wank nightly then hobs?

Thanks for sharing

You mean I've just ploughed through 8 pages AND WE STILL DON'T KNOW? FFS.

However, I note nobody has yet commented on the muckyness of taking one's phone in with oneself when pooing. You should pull him up on this if nothing else OP - TBH I'd rather he was wanking.

On a TMI note - if you were close enough to smell a fart, could you not have smelt.. ahem.. evidence of a wank? Or was it a particularly ripe fart which could have 'cloaked' the wank smell? Blimey, you don't get this on Sherlock. Maybe it'll be in the Christmas special.

Oh I just can't stop sniggering and I really cannot wait for the 'voice of god plant' update!

I just want to know how the chewing gum ended up in your your pubes, if you awoke to him giving your lady bits an oral going over?

Unless you have a chewing gum chewing chuff of course, now that would be irritating to sit by in a meeting/on the train etc. Chomp chomp chomp.