What would be your DCs current AIBU post

[SafariError]

Mini Safari (DD 6 months): AIBU to want to play and chat with DM and use her as a climbing frame whil still attached to her nipple from 3-6am. She seems to think I should sleep at night O_o.
Then at 7:30am while she was yawning over her coffee, and I was coverd head to toe in yog and doing my best Chewbacca impression she didn't even think it was slightly funny when I threw a lump of half chewed yog coverd banana in her face.
Then she tried to give me a bath to clean off said yog and calm me down, I have no idea why, I was perfectly happy to spend the day coverd in my breakfast. I then did an epic poomagedon in the bath, and was most proud with my copious achievement. Then she even shouted at the dog who bundled it's way through the door to try and clean me up as I made my escape from miserable DM across the bathroom floor still coverd in watery poo and yog while she ran a fresh bath and mumbled something aboud DF still being in bed after sleeping the whoel night through.
Now I'm napping peacefully on her tummy and she really needs a wee but if she puts me down or removes her nipple from my mouth, I will of course wake up and be in a shocking mood for the rest of the day.
INU am I, to think there's just no reason she can't function any better than a miserable zombi?

At this very second it is... AIBU to expect my mum to share her crisps. I mean, I am offering my Hello Kitty sticker in exchange, so it's not like there's nothing in it for her.

AIBU to want to watch Spongebob ALL DAY until my eyes go square and I can't blink any more, instead of all these people running and jumping about and riding bikes indoors that Mummy wants to watch?

Ds1: AIBU to expect to see the new Batman film, after all I am 5 years old?
Ds2: AIBU to expect DM to make her nipples available to me 24/7?

AIBU to wear my sisters clothes?

AIBU to not leave the settee for 6 weeks?

AIBU to read 'where's Spot?' 27 times in a row?

DS1: AIBU about boring my mum with Minecraft info whilst I am playing it?

DS3: AIBU to complain about getting washed and dressed?

DS2: AIBU to be smug about having got washed and dressed as soon as my mum asked me?

AIBU to think that 'making my own lunch' is about the actual sandwich and not about the state of the kitchen afterwards?

DS (2.11) AIBU to refuse to wear any clothes?

My mum and step dad are moaning at me to go out and find a job, I haven't bothered to apply for college in sept which I was supposed to do and even though I now have my city and guilds level two in electrical instillation I haven't looked into getting an apprenticeship. I don't want to work in a shop or morrisons for a while.

AIBU to sit around all day doing nothing but expecting pocket money and a bus pass each week?

Lol at Artex! Passed that stage, thank goodness!

AIBU to scream everytime DM comes near me and insist - insist damnit - that the only person who will can possibly cuddle me, carry me, feed me or clean me is my DF. Or the cat.

DM keeps pulling all these wounded faces like, 'what did I do wrong?'

Well, nothing, since you ask, but it's my right as a toddler to randomly decide that today mum, I just don't like you.

AIBU?

DD1 - aibu to insist on giving consistant my own running commentary on the cartoon I am watching?

DD2 - aibu to sit on my potty (looks like a loo type) lid and slide my potty up and down the floor.

Followed by

DD2 - aibu to do this (see above) when potty has wee in it?

AIBU to want my mum to get off mumsnet? she keeps getting into trouble with other users....[DD, 30. yrs.]

AIBU to get up at 5:39 afterall the sun is out so it's morning my mum seems to think I should stay in bed till 7am

DD's 3&4 (also aged 3&4!) Aibu to think our dm is an old baggage for taking our sisters to a hen party this afternoon and leaving us with dad? She keeps insisting that it's because we're younger than all of the other girls going and we have had lots of treats without our big sisters this week but even so!

AIBU to express myself artistically?!!! (with a runny egg on the wall)

AIBU to be absolutely livid that not only am I putting up with teething pain, but have just gone through the indignity of having my mum stick a paracetamol up my bum? (child 2)

AIBU to be shocked to the core that my dad won't let me use his golf clubs on the greens? I'm 2 now and quite frankly feel Snoopy clubs are undignified. (Child 1)

Ds3 AIBU to offer my lips to dm for kisses but then slap her in the face after I've given them?

Ds2 AIBU to moan alll the time, I'm bored can we go out, No I dont want to go there

aibu to want to stretch mummys nipple by moveing my head back to see how far it goes,she should be grateful if l stretch it far enough she will be able to get that glass of water she always puts just out of reach instead of disturding my feed...........l mean really tut mummys

and l dont think it hurts half as much as she says,tut drama queen.

Ds6 - Am I being unreasonable to empty my drawers every time I get sent to get dressed, I mean how else am I meant to see what's in them?

Ds 14 weeks - am I being unreasonable to look all content and happy after a feed and wait until someone picks me up 30 minutes later and deposit aforementioned feed all over someone who is usually mum. I don't know what she's moaning about. Something about having to have a shower but not having time. Why wouldn't she have the time? And why does she care about being covered in vomit, the only place she has to go today is Aldi.