What would be your DCs current AIBU post

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Mini Safari (DD 6 months): AIBU to want to play and chat with DM and use her as a climbing frame whil still attached to her nipple from 3-6am. She seems to think I should sleep at night O_o.
Then at 7:30am while she was yawning over her coffee, and I was coverd head to toe in yog and doing my best Chewbacca impression she didn't even think it was slightly funny when I threw a lump of half chewed yog coverd banana in her face.
Then she tried to give me a bath to clean off said yog and calm me down, I have no idea why, I was perfectly happy to spend the day coverd in my breakfast. I then did an epic poomagedon in the bath, and was most proud with my copious achievement. Then she even shouted at the dog who bundled it's way through the door to try and clean me up as I made my escape from miserable DM across the bathroom floor still coverd in watery poo and yog while she ran a fresh bath and mumbled something aboud DF still being in bed after sleeping the whoel night through.
Now I'm napping peacefully on her tummy and she really needs a wee but if she puts me down or removes her nipple from my mouth, I will of course wake up and be in a shocking mood for the rest of the day.
INU am I, to think there's just no reason she can't function any better than a miserable zombi?

If she wasn't asleep right now BabyBat's (2 and a bit) would be:

AIBU to expect my mum to give me exactly what I want, when I want it and without question, when I do not know what it is I want?

Ds (4) aibu to think that mum should know I wanted pasta for tea, not a roast dinner and hence why I won't eat it
Dd (2y5m) aibu to eat 4 packets of cheese and onion crisps, then refuse above roast dinner like dbro?

for OP, that is so funny and so sad and so true.

Your pain has made me laugh if that's any help?

I just stared, paralysed, at my first bath poo - I literally did not know what to do. Then I screamed for a bit. Then I made my DH cleaned it up.

DS1 (3.5) - AIBU to think that I should be allowed to put the real nails and screws into the playhouse I am building, with Daddy and Grandad's help? And use the real electric drill?

DS2 (2) - AIBU to think that every toy is MINE?

DS(10) AIBU to want to spend just 5 minutes of my day without having DM burst into tears because someone has won some medal on the Olympics?

DD (2.9): My excuse for a mother made me fishfingers for my dinner after I told her that's what I really wanted. Turns out I don't like fishfingers today - AIBU to eat my bogies as an alternative?

DS1 (4.7) AIBU to think that Mummy should carry me, DS2, two beach bags, a body board, everybody's shoes, and my extremely large digger home from the beach? SHE says she only has 2 arms, but I think she should try harder (as she keeps telling me).

DS2 (19mo) AIBU to feel that the bin is a suitable source of nourishment for a growing boy such as me? Ditto cat food bowls, all the yummy bits I found on the beach, stones etc? SHE says 'no'

@missmatched exactly what I am trying with my DM. She can then reach her coffee but instead, howls like an injured wolf. What is wrong with her?! Mummys are SO unreasonable!

missmatched and WhoWillDoMyHoovering, you should tell your mummies that my two big brother did that to our mum's nipples and by the time she had me I think they may have broken the nerve endings cos she gave up trying to prevent it crying in pain when I did it. She did say to my duncle (who's involved in producing me a cousin for my first birthday as a present for me obviously!) that her boobs were "toughened up " by five years of breastfeeding over the last nine years. Mums are also SO embarassing when they're sleep deprived.

DD (2.6) AIBU to only eat the big pieces of chicken in my pasta, despite the fact that I ordered mummy to cut some of them up smaller? She tried to get away with it by saying that now there were three bits where there used to be one, and three bits are better than one. She's a bit dim is my mummy.

AIBU to say I didn't want anymore, and then get down off the table, but to howl for ages when mummy gave the pasta to my brother? After all, it was MY pasta, whether I wanted it or not!

DS2: AIBU to expect at least 4 chapters of Skullduggery for a bedtime story? After all, DM was not here yesterday, and as a natural consequence I increased the daily story time and insist she should do yesterday's (double) installment as well tonight.

DS1: AIBU to jump close to DBs on the trampoline? If I jump on the other side of it, far away from them, I won't get a reaction at all to my jumps, whereas if I jump close to them they may get hurt when they land and howl.

DS3: AIBU to expect no recognisable vegetables whatsoever in my food?

AIBU to not like food that I previously enjoyed, just to keep Mum on her toes?

AIBU to hoard so much random stuff in my room it takes all day for Mum to sort through it?

AIBU to want to try on hundreds of pairs of shoes, pretending they don't feel comfortable, until I get my way and get slip ons?

Is Mum BU to expect me to get dressed in the mornings when there is no school?

AIBU to demand a whole new wardrobe of clothes for a ten day holiday that my Old has scrimped and saved for despite already having 8 pairs of denim shorts (2 with the labels still on ), 5 perfectly wearable bikinis, more vest tops than Primarni and a shoe collection worth the cost of an Olympic Stadium?

AIBU to never want anything to go into the bin - EVER?! I feel Mummy is very U waiting until I go to bed to clean everything away, so I just wait until she is sleeping in the early morning and empty the entire contents of the bin onto the kitchen table. I have really no idea why she is so upset, she is BU, right?

DD age 6, ASD and a great bin hater

DSD - AIBU in thinking that my dad and SM are really horrible to have decided that we are going camping next week if it doesn't rain don't they know teenage girls "don't do camping" and wibu to have screamed at them for 10mins before stomping up the stairs and slaming my bedroom door? And I think you will all agree that they were really U to not come and ask if I was ok even though I told them to leave me alone which led to me shouting that they don't care about me! Am I fully justified in playing my music really loud just to show how annoyed I am with them?

DSS - AIBU to have tried to cheer my sister up by telling her all the great things about camping even when she told me to stop talking? And was she u for threatening to sellotape my mouth shut if I didn't stop talking?

DSS - AIBU in getting annoyed with Ddad because he doesn't know every mooshi monster by name, I mean come on SM knows them and I've spent weeks telling anyone who cant run fast enough will listen everything I know about them

DP - AIBU in being glad I work nights and can escape from the stroppy teenage daughter, the son who keeps talking about these monster things and the DP who looks like she's about to have a nervous breakdown, its not really U of me to run out the door as early as I possibly can is it?

DD1: AIBU to think that mummy should let me make up the rules, as I clearly have a much better handle on what is going on. I don't claim that hailstones are snow or that fairies are somehow involved in dentistry, for a start.

DD2: AIBU to...Thomas is choo choo tank engine on island of SODOR! Fat troller say fusion and delay! I NEEEEED JUICE!

DD1: AIBU to think my sister is an idiot? I am far more mature, so why does Mummy try to make me do baby things like go to bed? AIBU to want to just get juice for me and my sister, because Mummy is back typing on that laptop again? I am nearly in year one, and my school has a uniform and everything. Mummys school is just big books and muttering about essays, as far as I can see. No phonics or even numeracy. Slacker.

DD2: AIBU to think that Mummy should say thankyou when I give her a Thomas book instead of her university book? Everyone likes Thomas!

AIBU to insist Mummy Dearest knows all the words to every single Wonderpets song, ever? I know she hates the programme, but this is sewious.

Also, AIBU to insist on going EVERYWHERE dressed as a pirate? Mummy seems to think I should wear normal clothes "once in a while", but I think she is BU

DSS (4): Not sure why SM thinks it's U that I'm asleep in her and dads bed at 7am when she gets home from work?? It's not like I'm taking up that much room despite being spread eagled diagonally across -the bed

DD (15mo): AIBU to decorate my head with cheerios/cornflakes/banana EVERY single breakfast time and then scream a lot when DM puts me in the bath and washes my hair!!!!

AIBU to refuse dinner at dinner time but insist I am 'starving' at bedtime just so I get to go to bed later or was DM BU for just handing me a banana and telling me to eat it quickly and get ready for bed?!

DD (7) and DS (5) this evening

Not got a lot to say....

Pugh, Pugh... Barney McGrue. Cuthbert. Dibble & Grubb. :D

Ds's are STILL up. & DD 3.0 with ASD will be up soon.

I will be lurking generally during the day, don't expect me to say anything worthwhile though...

DD 2.6

AIBU to think it's perfectly normal to NOT have a nap now... and then still not go to bed at what Mummy thinks is a reasonable time? She muttered something about wanting an evening with Daddy which is VVU as they might start playing and as you'll understand, everything is MINE bwahaha!

DS1 - AIBU to want to play on my computer all day? My bitch of a mother will only let me be on it for 2 hours a day, and then she says I have to find something else to do.

DS2 - AIBU to not want to toilet train?

DD - AIBU for wanting to wear high heels like Minnie Mouse?

DD-Now that I've learned to crawl, AIBU to practise all night in my cot, even if it means I get stuck in corners/foot between bars/really tired and have a bit of a screamathon? DM and DF seem to want me to 'sleep' but I can't remember what that is...

AIBU to sleep in till half past one for 6 weeks? Even when mum has booked things?