What would be your DCs current AIBU post

[SafariError]

Mini Safari (DD 6 months): AIBU to want to play and chat with DM and use her as a climbing frame whil still attached to her nipple from 3-6am. She seems to think I should sleep at night O_o.
Then at 7:30am while she was yawning over her coffee, and I was coverd head to toe in yog and doing my best Chewbacca impression she didn't even think it was slightly funny when I threw a lump of half chewed yog coverd banana in her face.
Then she tried to give me a bath to clean off said yog and calm me down, I have no idea why, I was perfectly happy to spend the day coverd in my breakfast. I then did an epic poomagedon in the bath, and was most proud with my copious achievement. Then she even shouted at the dog who bundled it's way through the door to try and clean me up as I made my escape from miserable DM across the bathroom floor still coverd in watery poo and yog while she ran a fresh bath and mumbled something aboud DF still being in bed after sleeping the whoel night through.
Now I'm napping peacefully on her tummy and she really needs a wee but if she puts me down or removes her nipple from my mouth, I will of course wake up and be in a shocking mood for the rest of the day.
INU am I, to think there's just no reason she can't function any better than a miserable zombi?

AIBU to push food around the plate with bottom lip sticking out, head on one side and moaning quietly when presented with anything that isn't spaghetti bolognaise.

AIBU to insist that I am not tired and certainly do not need a na....zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz (2 hours later) p?

DD1 AIBU to kick and scream because when asked 'Ham or cheese' and responded " 'am" that was clearly me asking for cheese.

DD2 AIBU refuse to wear clothes - I'm 3 why would I need 'em

DS AIBU to use nappy change time as a SAS capture avoidance exercise.

DP AIBU to think a hangover equals illness.

AIBU to think my dad should bring me back a kinder egg from the shop regardless of whether I walk there with him or not?

Is it really my fault that he likes spending the morning cutting grass and my mum likes moppinng floors, doing the washing and cooking a roast dinner but I want to lay on the sofa playing on the wii?

I don't think that a treat should only be available if I 'get off my bottom and come for the walk'. AIBU?

AIBU to whine and complain about my mum and dad watching the Olympics when I want to watch WWE on the sky planner? Yes I could have watched it early this morning before they got up, but I was playing my PS3 so not possible to do two things at once, it's all their fault.

AIBU to want to throw my spoon on the floor five times in a row after telling Mummy that I wanted to feed myself my own breakfast. She doesn't seem to think it's fun to keep having to pick it up. And she keeps trying to stop me from styling my hair with yogurt, and using it on my feet.
As if that was not enough she is now saying that she is tired because I woke her up in the night four times. Well I couldn't find the dummy as it was out of arm's reach. She should have known that and not made me have to scream to get her to get up.
The final straw is that she is now saying that a two hour nap in the middle of the day is plenty of sleep. I shall be wearing my best grumpy face and seeing if I can punch or slap her in the face later when she changes my nappy - it's really funny to see how much it hurts when her glasses smack into the bridge of her nose.

AIBU to wonder why? I mean why? Why did the fox sneeze? Why is he wanting to eat the mouse? My is he a fox? Why did he run away? Why is the mouse crossing the river? Why is the owl there? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why is mummy having a nervous breakdown?

Look! I love pink. It's my favourite colour. Everything pink in my house is mine. everything not pink is my brother's. Unless I want it, that is.

Simple, eh?

AIBU? Ok, I know Mummy's a childminder and I know sometimes the other little girls bring pink things to my house, too, but they are mine, really, aren't they??

NotGeoff I would say are you me but DD likes to style my hair with yogurt, I'm guessing because she has no hair to style. LOL at *Cltae.

DD AIBU: i only want to wear leopard print clothing. My mother says I can only do so when I am in the house.

DS AIBU: my parents refuse to talk about Star Wars every second of the day and try to MAKE me sit at the table at mealtimes. Boo.

AIBU to scream the house down because my selfish cow of a mother won't let me play with the mop bucket. She says it's playing but actually I have Important Work to Do. She's very controlling actually. She won't let me twiddle with the washer, store toys in the toilet, empty her handbag or even drive the car now and then.
I hate her.

ChildofHolly, 3.

AIBU to, despite insisting several times that I didn't want to go swimming, now expect my Mother to take me for the last 20 minutes of the session?

My mum keeps stopping me from playing computer games. She says I've got to play with my little sister and keep her out of trouble. Honestly, we've nothing in common. She's a girl for a start! And she's a baby! She can't even talk properly yet! Keeps calling me "bruvver" because she can't say my name. Drives me mad!

AIBU to shove her on the trampoline and zip her up in it?

Paracetamol up the bottom? I've never heard of doing that with a baby, will they not take calpol?

Ds -Aibu to want to take one bite, just one, out of every apple, pear and banana in the house then put them back in the bowl?

DD 2 1/2. AIBU to stick to Mum like a limpet and stop her even going for a wee in peace, to NEVER go to daddy and refuse to nap.

DS (age 9) to want to use an axe on cub camp. (I know I struggle with a knife at dinner but surely it's easier than that no?)

Mum asked that we come back from a sleepover early to help her because our grandparents are coming tomorrow. We texted saying we wanted to stay until half three. She's going to moan at us and we think it ruins the sleepover. Are we being unreasonable?

AIBU to complain that I'm bored and to keep asking for chocolate, even though we've just got home from the cinema where I had popcorn and sweets? My horrendous mother seems to think I am. How dare she? Popcorn and sweets do not satisfy my need for chocolate! Do you think if I whine incessantly for the next 4 hours or so she will give in?

DS1 (8): AIBU to think that £2.99 is a perfectly reasonable price for a magazine that will be half looked at for 20 minutes then ripped up and used as a plane?

DS2 (5) AIBU to be a perfectly reasonable members of society one minute then a whinging cyclone the next?

ds1- aibu to want to stay in sticking flags on my olympic chart instead of going on a poxy walk with my family

ds2- aibu when I try to help my brother stick flags on his olympic flag by helpfully unpeeling them for him?

me- - aibu to want to watch the tennis!!!!!!!!

I know um is very bored of her life and sometimes feels very diwn but I know she lives me because she cares for me very well. I know Mummy would like to have a job and wishes we could go out and do stuff but I prefer to lie in bed and watch DVDs. I know I cannot see orvspeak and this is what I like doing best and where I feel safest. That makes me NU.

safari - she has very fine hair but the yogurt (or porridge, weetabix, fromage fraise or fruit puree) bulks it out quite nicely.

It's getting baked bean juice out from under the toenails that's the bugger.

Aibu to ignore the lunch my dm has just cooked for me. It's much more fun to poke it with toys whilst shouting yar yar yar. I mean i don't need to eat, I can stick a plastic toy in my mPugh and chew that right, it has loads of nutritional value.
Also aibu to hide all the hair brushes so SN can't brush my hair, it hurts and I scream so dm knows I have hyper sensivity to it. Plus I think my curls look cute in the dragged-thru-hedge style.
And dm seems to forget that I'm 4, so I know ianbu

Dc1 WIBU to have all my toys out at the same time? My "d"m thinks I am being u but clearly I am not!

Dc2 WIBU to distract DB from his toys all per the floor by making him chase after me whilst I yell bye bye! DM is trying to watch the tennis, clearly Denis being deeply u!

Aaaaa autocorrect.
DM not SN
mPugh no idea where that came from meant to read mouth