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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU regarding Welsh?

216 replies

Jelly15 · 04/08/2011 18:11

DH and I been married for 18 years. He was brought up to speak Welsh as his first language. I was brought up in the same town to non Welsh speaking parents. DSs are billingual but, despite having lessons several times, I have not been able to get a grasp on Welsh.

The problem I have is when DHs family visit and are not talking directly to me they speak in Welsh. DH and DSs answer them in English and translate for me. I have kept my mouth shut for years and understand it if I am in their houses but this is my home and I am about to tell the rude baskets what I think. AIBU?

OP posts:
EllenJaneisnotmyname · 04/08/2011 18:13

Hard one. If they think in Welsh and are getting on a bit...? Can I sit on the fence. Grin

scurryfunge · 04/08/2011 18:14

Do you think they do it to exclude you are have they never got a grasp on English, in much the same way you do not speak Welsh?

TidyDancer · 04/08/2011 18:14

I think YANBU. Not even a little bit. Unless they are unable to speak English well, it is incredibly rude how they are behaving.

scurryfunge · 04/08/2011 18:15

*or, not are

Original poster
Jelly15 · 04/08/2011 18:15

This has been going on for 18 years and includes my SILs

OP posts:
FakePlasticTrees · 04/08/2011 18:15

YANBU- it's your home and assuming everyone can speak English, it's rude not to talk in English so you aren't left feeling like the outsider in your own living room.

I would stick at the lessons though, I would hate DH and DS to have a secret language I didn't understand, it would make me suspicious...

Andrewofgg · 04/08/2011 18:16

If there is only one language which all present speak that language and that only is the one which should be spoken. Anything else is rude beyond belief. DH should not allow this. Unless EllenJane is right and it is too late.

wtfhappenedtomauricetinkler · 04/08/2011 18:17

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Rhinestone · 04/08/2011 18:18

I assume they can actually speak English? If so, they are being very rude and it sounds like they're making a point. Tbh I wouldn't have put up with it for 18 years but I think you need to say something now. In English! Grin

TimeWasting · 04/08/2011 18:20

How's their English?

As most people find picking up a language easy, perhaps they think you just can't be bothered?

maurice, that's ridiculous.

wtfhappenedtomauricetinkler · 04/08/2011 18:21

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/08/2011 18:21

Yeah WTF the whole nation has a chip on it's shoulder Hmm shall we change that to "all black people have a chip on their shoulder" or "all gay people have a chip on their shoulder". Sweeping generalisations are crap.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/08/2011 18:21

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TimeWasting · 04/08/2011 18:21

Perhaps they just don't like bigoted idiots?

Original poster
Jelly15 · 04/08/2011 18:23

Their English is very good and in my defence Welsh can be a very difficult language to learn. The grammar is completly different and words mutate. I am Welsh but was brought up by non Welsh speaking parents.

OP posts:
TimeWasting · 04/08/2011 18:24

As you haven't said anything for 18 years, perhaps they think you're trying to learn via immersion?

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 04/08/2011 18:24

My SIL's Gaelic-speaking mother and sister did this to me at DB and SIL's engagement dinner. Bloody rude. YANBU.

SecretNutellaFix · 04/08/2011 18:26

If Welsh is the language they only speak at home and are quite insular it is very difficult to get back into he habit of speaking English. Welsh is a phenomenally difficult language to learn unless you do speak it constantly.

Do they visit often?

TidyDancer · 04/08/2011 18:28

It does sound like they are doing it on purpose (ie, to annoy you). Are there other issues with the PILs?

Shutupanddrive · 04/08/2011 18:32

I'm welsh and always speak to certain members of my family in welsh, and it would be strange to suddenly speak English to them. Maybe they don't realise it upsets you, have you said anything? Or get your dh to say something

Andrewofgg · 04/08/2011 18:33

TimeWasting it is OP's inlaws who are being bigoted idiots (though they are not alone!) in refusing to speak DIL's language in DIL's home.

My background is refugee. When I was a child I had elderly relations whose language of choice was German but when we visited them or they us my parents pushed them, as hard as you decently can, to speak English (which they found difficult) so as not to exclude me.

But I learnt German from an early age and by the time I was nine or ten my German was better than their English, and when we met we spoke German so as not to exclude them.

That is how it should be.

happywheezer · 04/08/2011 18:34

It's a bit late to be moaning about it now. It's been over 18 years! They prob think it's ok because you haven't said something.

expectingprofessional · 04/08/2011 18:36

Yabvu! It's their first language.

I'm a welsh learner, rather than native but I still think yabu.

TimeWasting · 04/08/2011 18:39

Andrew that comment was to wtf, should have clarified.

babybarrister · 04/08/2011 18:40

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