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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't want their dog here

450 replies

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:18

Pil are coming to visit this weekend. They stay in a hotel as our house is too small to accommodate them.

Mil has this ancient dog that is blind and well, imo, ready to be put down. She wants to bring it with them. It will have to stay with us whilst they are in the hotel.

I don't want the dog here, especially not a disabled one that will probably poo and wee every where. We don't have a garden as it's currently a building site.

If I wanted a dog, I'd get one. I don't so I won't. I've got 3 dcs and that's really enough for me. Plus all the cooking and hospitality for pil this weekend - which of course I don't mind but I think bringing the dog is an imposition.

Aibu?

OP posts:
SouthGoingZax · 17/07/2011 11:21

Winky, it's just for a weekend.

I understand you POV, but in your shoes would just grin and bear it, knowing it will probably be the last time.

IF you know there is a possible alternative, ask her to take it (i.e. has she a friend who would like to take the dog for some company over the weekend?). If there isn't, I'd just put up with it.

SouthGoingZax · 17/07/2011 11:21

Oh, and I think YAB a teeny bit U
Grin

ShatnersBassoon · 17/07/2011 11:22

I don't think YABU. I don't like dogs, so wouldn't want one in my house.

Having said that, they won't be able to put such a frail animal in a kennel I don't suppose, so you've got to cope with the dog for a couple of days or not see the in-laws.

Could you find a pet-friendly hotel in your area? They're not that uncommon I don't think.

AgentZigzag · 17/07/2011 11:24

I can understand not wanting a dog in your house when it's not yours, and you're not keen on them, but you do sound a bit...uncharitable?

The poor thing sounds on its last legs, they can hardly leave it on it's own or put them in kennels.

Do you know for sure they'll poo/wee everywhere? Because you only say probably, in your imagination could you be making the dog out to be worse than it is in reality?

What does your DH think?

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:24

They usually leave the dog with the woman who bred him when they visit. He never goes in a kennels.

And it won't be the last time. Mil never puts down her dogs until they are crawling about, incontinent. She carries them about in a basket when they are blind. Hmm

Why am I bu? I think it's cheeky.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 11:24

Yes, I think YABU. It's just a weekend. And you sound quite heartless tbh. It's not your place to decide if a dog should be put down, so please FFS don't say that to your PILs. Either go to them, or try to be more accomodating yourself.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:26

Oh dh will do anything his mil asks of him.

And I'm very wary of mil - if I give her an inch, she'll take a mile and expect the dog to come every single time. And be deeply affronted if I don't allow it.

Our cats died recently so now they think they can bring the dog down.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 17/07/2011 11:26

Just say as you have no garden at the moment the dog will be an inconvenience.

AgentZigzag · 17/07/2011 11:27

Wow! You mean your PIL take their responsiblity as dog owners seriously and look after their dog whatever their state of health?

How very inconvenient of them.

KurriKurri · 17/07/2011 11:27

Its just a weekend, as the dog is very old they are probably reluctant to put him in kennels in case he got confused or upset.

My dog is old and blind and actually gets about very well, - I wouldn't call her disabled she uses her sense of smell far more.

Do you know the dog is incontinent? dogs don't poo and wee all over the place just because they are old.

I sympathise because you sound a bit stressed out by it all, but actually old dogs are generally less bother than young ones - they spend most of their time curled up asleep.

SarahStratton · 17/07/2011 11:27

Poor little dog :(

It's only a weekend and if it does wee or poo, I'm sure the PILs will clean it up for you. I wouldn't be able to leave it in kennels either, and maybe the woman who usually has it can't this time.

Just tell yourself it's only 2 days. And at least it's not going to be running around, getting under your feet and yapping.

Riveninside · 17/07/2011 11:27

Yanbu. I wouldnt want it in my house and had to have this very battle with my mother. And yes, sne nurses them until they keel over, months after they should have been put down.
Can they leave it in the car?

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 11:27

Oh how dare she want to bring her dog with her! What a horrible woman she is! Hmm

MilkMonitor · 17/07/2011 11:28

Yanbu. I wouldn't want to be lumbered with someone else's blind ancient dog either. What will you do all weekend then? Will the dog have to stay in the house whilst you all go out if it's blind? And what did you have planned for the w/end? Was it dog friendly?

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 11:28

Riven, you can't seriously think a dog can be left in a car?!

lachesis · 17/07/2011 11:28

YANBU. I'd find them a dog-friendly hotel.

DooinMeCleanin · 17/07/2011 11:31

My mum's little lab was partially sighted and completely deaf before she passed, but she was happy to go on walks and was eating fine. The vet agreed she still had a good quality of life. She never messed in the house, until the last few days when her legs went.

I wouldn't leave any of my dogs if they were that old and sick. I think you are just going to have to suck it up this time. It sounds like if you ban the dog they won't visit and I can't imagine your DH or dc would thank you for that.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:31

"Oh how dare she want to bring her dog with her! What a horrible woman she is!"

Who said she was a horrible woman? Who? Sorry? Stupid comment to make.

I wouldn't mind if they were actually staying with us and she could care for it and clean up it's mess. But they won't be.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 17/07/2011 11:31

yes i think dog friendly hotel too. And get another cat pronto.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 11:32

Dog poo makes me vomit. It really does. I couldn't clean it up. That's why we don't have a dog.

hormonalmum · 17/07/2011 11:32

I love dogs. If i wanted one, I would get one. Simple
YANBU - their dog, their responsibility.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 11:33

Not a stupid comment at all. You've been rude about your MIL, all because she wants to bring her dog. I feel really sorry for her. You don't sound very welcoming. I'm sure she'll be at your house most of the time anyway, it's just overnight you've got to think about.

Kbear · 17/07/2011 11:33

YANBU

bushymcbush · 17/07/2011 11:33

I can see both sides. It is only a weekend. and presumably, your dh will take responsibility for looking after the dog since he agreed to have it to stay.

But if you're really not happy, research dog friendly b&bs as there are loads of them. And just explain to your mil that you don't really like dogs and your garden isn't dog friendly.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 17/07/2011 11:33

"I wouldn't leave any of my dogs if they were that old and sick. I think you are just going to have to suck it up this time. "

I don't think you have to suck up anything in your own home actually.

If my dogs were that old and sick or blind, I certainly wouldn't be travelling full stop with them - not fair on the dog at all.

Nor would I dream of imposing them on someone else. Very rude.