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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't want their dog here

450 replies

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:18

Pil are coming to visit this weekend. They stay in a hotel as our house is too small to accommodate them.

Mil has this ancient dog that is blind and well, imo, ready to be put down. She wants to bring it with them. It will have to stay with us whilst they are in the hotel.

I don't want the dog here, especially not a disabled one that will probably poo and wee every where. We don't have a garden as it's currently a building site.

If I wanted a dog, I'd get one. I don't so I won't. I've got 3 dcs and that's really enough for me. Plus all the cooking and hospitality for pil this weekend - which of course I don't mind but I think bringing the dog is an imposition.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Doha · 17/07/2011 11:51

YANBU

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 11:52

If you put the dog in the car overnight if would get distressed and probably shit everywhere and die.

You'd have to leave your car windows open all night and hope it didn't get stolen with the dog inside.

And hope it doesn't rain.

weimy · 17/07/2011 11:53

The calous way that you have spoken about it suggests that you don't like dogs. I am not suggesting that you would beat it but you certainly don't sound as though you are the kind of person who show it any love or attention.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 11:54

Because it takes a very short amount of time for a car to overheat to the point where a dog could be at risk. Making the dog sleep in the car is not a sensible option here, sorry. What if the OP was late getting up one of the days and it happened to be a really hot morning? It doesn't bare thinking about.

lachesis, I hope you're joking. That's a truly vile comment otherwise.

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 11:54

I hope they don't bring it to yours.

lachesis .... you are joking?..Hmm

Clayhead · 17/07/2011 11:55

YANBU

There is no way I could have a dog in my house at all.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 11:56

I don't get why you didn't just say NO. I would have. I don't like dogs, I don't like their mess or their smell.

The ILs have two and know they're not welcome in here (thankfully we also have two dog-hating cats) so they don't bring them.

chibi · 17/07/2011 11:56

Does an overwhelming sense of entitlement come free when you get a dog, or is that something most owners have already?

Riveninside · 17/07/2011 11:57

They are in a hotel at night and just visiting during the day. I dont see why, if its not hot, the dog cant sleep in the car during the daytime visit and be walked and checked on often. Ive done that when we had a dog and were visiting people.
The dog will be at the hotel overnight I assume, with the inlaws.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 11:57

Why not? The creature is so ill it needs put down, the MIL doesn't have the bottle to do it. So step in and do what needs be done. Problem sorted. You no longer have to worry about her mangy old dog and the dog's in a better place and all that.

KurriKurri · 17/07/2011 11:58

How do we know the dog has 'reached the end' and should be put down, that is only OP's opinion, and presumably she's not a vet or she wouldn't mind having a dog in the house! -

as far as I can work out, the animal is blind - not that big a problem for dogs, and 'will probably wee and poo' all over the place, - no one's confirmed that the dog is incontinent. My 14 yr old blind dog doesn't poo or wee in the house, - that's much more likely with puppies.

I think the fact that the dog is old and blind is a complete red herring, she just doesn't want a dog in the house even if it is continent and spends most of its time asleep, fair enough if you're not a dog lover, I wouldn't have a problem housing someones dog if they came to visit, but each to their own.

Longtalljosie · 17/07/2011 11:58

It's pointless asking on an internet forum about this because the world is divided up into people that like dogs and would do anything for them, and people like me who really don't like them at all. There's no way on God's green earth I'd have a dog in the house over a weekend. But you'll never get a dog person to understand that, your MIL included.

Riveninside · 17/07/2011 11:58

Oh, didnt read it will have to stay with OP overnight while inlaws stay in hotel. Thats even more unacveptable. They should find a dog vriendly hotel. I woildnt look after anyones dog in my house.
Heck, it would be like me rocking up at one of your houses, announcing im staying in a hotel and leaving my kids with you. Not on.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 11:58

No Riven, the MIL wants the dog to stay with the OP overnight.

DooinMeCleanin · 17/07/2011 11:59

Being old and having sight problems does not mean it is so ill it has no quality of life Hmm

lachesis · 17/07/2011 12:00

Re-book them in a hotel that takes pets. Tell her, 'I don't like dogs and I won't look after yours.' End of. I would not want one in my house.

Highlander · 17/07/2011 12:02

If the dog is too frail for kennels then it's too frail to stay with you.

Sounds like someone needs to have a blunt, but empathic, chat with them about the dog's current suffering. If your IL's are elderly, then having the dog put down may be an unpleasant reminder of their own mortality. The dog might also be 'keeping them young'; in that they something that depends on them.

Sounds a bit sad all round Sad

WhatsWrongWithYou · 17/07/2011 12:02

The fact is, like it or not, some people just don't like having dogs in their house. We have a dog, (well-behaved and in good health), but I'd no more assume she was welcome in someone else's home than I would my kids were welcome to trash their house.

Have you or your DH already agreed to this? If not, I don't see the problem with arranging a dog-friendly b+b, although bear in mind she'll still have the dog in tow when they come to visit.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 12:02

Oh jeez. lachesis was serious. Sick.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 12:02

"You're right, I don't know your MIL, but perhaps you should've mentioned there is previous here. As I'm sure you know, a stealth reveal never helps you on MN"

Rubbish, TidyDancer. Absolute codswallop.

If I say she takes a mile when I give an inch which I said very early in the thread, then it's not a stealth reveal at all. You said I was being rude about her so I clarified. Should I have given you our entire, generally good, relationship history?

Utterly irrational pov.

However, having said that, you are all far more charitable than me on this thread. I'll let the dog stay this one time but it will be getting progressively more ill and I refuse to be responsible for someone else's sick animal. It is incontinent in wee-ing but poo yet. So I'll have big puddles to clean up every morning no doubt. Mil won't be here - sleeping late at her hotel - to care for dog in this way.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 12:02

The OP still hasn't answered whether she knows the dog is incontinent or if she's just assuming so btw.

diddl · 17/07/2011 12:03

I´m not sure if it´s a division of liking/disliking dogs, or liking/disliking MILsGrin

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 12:03

TidyDancer ..

It appears she was serious....

Takes all sorts i suppose.

fairieswearboots · 17/07/2011 12:04

Poor wee dog. If I was your mil and knew you felt like this I wouldn't want to leave my dog with you. Why dont you and your dh go to the hotel and let pil stay in your house?

GwendolineMaryLacey · 17/07/2011 12:04

YAdefinitelyNBU, I wouldn't have a dog in my house either, not for more than about half an hour anyway.

As an aside, PIL had a dog that was on its last legs a couple of years back and it used to beg to get in the car when they took it to unfamiliar places. It used to get so stressed and the car was its little bolt hole. They had a holiday home but it wouldn't go in, so it had its holidays in the car which was parked right outside the door (with all the necessary provisions etc before anyone jumps)

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