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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't want their dog here

450 replies

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:18

Pil are coming to visit this weekend. They stay in a hotel as our house is too small to accommodate them.

Mil has this ancient dog that is blind and well, imo, ready to be put down. She wants to bring it with them. It will have to stay with us whilst they are in the hotel.

I don't want the dog here, especially not a disabled one that will probably poo and wee every where. We don't have a garden as it's currently a building site.

If I wanted a dog, I'd get one. I don't so I won't. I've got 3 dcs and that's really enough for me. Plus all the cooking and hospitality for pil this weekend - which of course I don't mind but I think bringing the dog is an imposition.

Aibu?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 13:50

And there goes lachesis, proving my point.

ensure · 17/07/2011 13:52

I wouldn't really want an incontinent dog in my house for the weekend, but I'd look after my IL's (imaginary) incontinent dog if they couldn't find a dog friendly hotel nearby. It must be part of the family to them.

DrGruntFotter · 17/07/2011 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

intelligenceitself · 17/07/2011 14:07

Yes I might do that with my neighbours toddler next time it gets dumped on me. It stinks

FairhairedandFrustrated · 17/07/2011 14:10

My neighbour told my 6-year-old son he'd shoot our dogs if they barked at his cats again.

We have two well trained, well mannered dogs - he has 14 feral, sleeked, interbred cats... which dig up our veggies, shit all over our gardens and torment our dogs...

I've been up with my son every night for the past week whilst he worries about the dogs being shot.

Fuckin cats.

To make matters worse, neighbours went on holidays the following dan and now I think too much time has lapsed for me to bring it up!

Chandon · 17/07/2011 14:10

OP, there must be a dog friendly hotel somewhere! Look a bit harder.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 14:16

I'd never hurt the dog. Nor any other animal. And that includes leaving it in a car. It's blind and that would be really mean.

Dh tells me the lady who usually has him won't have him anymore because he wees himself.

And as for revealing by stealth wrt my relationship with my mil, I'd have the same issue with whoever wanted to leave their pet here and sashay off to a hotel.

Am amazed someOne thinks I should leave my own home to accommodate pil and their dog!

OP posts:
Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 14:18

And pil have booked hotel already. So now their usual doggy host has said no more, we are lumbered and we will have plan weekend around dog friendly places now.

OP posts:
Pinkflipflop · 17/07/2011 14:20

Yes YABVVVVU

Poor dog - get a grip.

ShoutyHamster · 17/07/2011 14:21

Sorry but I think it's MIL that is being U.

She has an animal that needs a lot of care. It's her responsibility. I don't think it's on to say, 'we're visiting - we'll be in the hotel - but we'd rather the dog came with us than went to kennels, however that means that the dog's going to have to stay with you and you are going to have to look after it.'

Not fairer on the dog - if it's ancient it's going to be just as stressed in OP's house as in kennels, perhaps more so as it's going to be a bigger more active environment for it to get its head around. The dog would probably be better cared for in kennels, but MIL wants it with her to assuage her guilt. Only that means putting someone else out, someone who clearly doesn't want the dog.

I would refuse, but it would be along the lines of - 'No I don't think thats fair to anyone. We have a busy house with children who would probably harrass th dog. The dog would find the new environment just as stressful as kennels if not more so. I don't have a dog and don't feel comfortable taking on the responsibility of caring for the dog when you are at the hotel. The dog will curtail our activities when we would all rather have the time to concentrate on getting the most out of the visit. Please put the dog in kennels, that's what they're there for and they will care for your dog properly which I am not able to do.'

It's obvious that there's a bit of backstory in that MIL can be a bit demanding and sulky - well, all the more reason to stick to your guns over what happens IN YOUR HOME.

HairyFrotter · 17/07/2011 14:21

Just say no op. They can either find somewhere for the dog or lose their depsosit and not come. They should have made arrangements for their dog BEFORE they booked their hotel - not just assumed you'd babysit!

M0naLisa · 17/07/2011 14:21

Errmm winky i only read first and last pages but i agree with you. i would be miffed too. But i am allergic to dogs.

Plus i cant be doing with dog hairs and the smell. And if this dog is incontinent then i would make sure the MIL KNOWS that everytime that animal shat or pissed on my carpets/floors where ever, would she be willing to leave the hotel to come and clean it up cos i wouldnt be doing it.

lookbutdonttouch · 17/07/2011 14:22

Get another cat?

ShoutyHamster · 17/07/2011 14:23

Start ringing kennels near to you and the hotel and book him in. Seriously!

Doggy host has said no more? Why is it ok for doggy host to put foot down, but not you? Grr.

Chandon · 17/07/2011 14:23

Hamster said it! take her advice.

Al0uiseG · 17/07/2011 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Al0uiseG · 17/07/2011 14:27

Yes, that was a personal attack.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 14:28

I'll second it Al0uiseG.

coccyx · 17/07/2011 14:29

so it would appear

Scuttlebutter · 17/07/2011 14:31

YANBU in refusing to accomodate the dog. You are perfectly entitled to refuse anyone else's dog, llama, cat or children.

Your MIL is being astonishingly rude and entitled in ASSUMING she can bring the dog.

Your DH needs to have a serious talk with his parents and make it clear that their dog is not welcome at your house. Having clarified this point, your PIL can then make choices as informed and responsible dog owners - which, as the dog is frail, elderly and blind, would probably mean that they will not be visiting anybody while the dog is still alive.

Having said all that though, your attitude to the dog is pretty callous and it doesn't sound as though you like your MIL, or the dog, or that you are willing to make some compromises. As for some of the other posts, I am beyond words.

We have dogs, and while I am completely besotted with them, we dont visit anybody with them unless we have checked first and know they are welcome. In fact, one of my closest relatives is not a doggy fan, and we never take them, that's fine. However, it does mean that any visits to her are of a short duration as we do not like leaving the dogs for very long. She is well aware of this and it is no problem all round. She is however very happy to come and stay with us for long periods but knows that while she is here, dogs are very much part of the family.

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 14:36

I'll third it..ALOuiseG.

But i think he's only doing it as a wind up now.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 14:36

Callous in what way?

I do think you're all very generous hearted in that you're all ok with having an incontinent dog or any dog stay with you without the owner there at night.

OP posts:
reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 14:38

Sorry...'She'

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 14:39

Seriously though...i asked earlier..

Can you get dog nappies?

For dogs who have had surgery/are incontinent etc?

TyMinisterForMagic · 17/07/2011 15:00

I think the op is NBU to not want the dog in her house. Even if it is only overnight and she could put down puppy training pads
I will ignore all of the cruel and evil comments. But I dont think Riven was trying to be cruel, just misinformed to be fair.