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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't want their dog here

450 replies

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:18

Pil are coming to visit this weekend. They stay in a hotel as our house is too small to accommodate them.

Mil has this ancient dog that is blind and well, imo, ready to be put down. She wants to bring it with them. It will have to stay with us whilst they are in the hotel.

I don't want the dog here, especially not a disabled one that will probably poo and wee every where. We don't have a garden as it's currently a building site.

If I wanted a dog, I'd get one. I don't so I won't. I've got 3 dcs and that's really enough for me. Plus all the cooking and hospitality for pil this weekend - which of course I don't mind but I think bringing the dog is an imposition.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:34

"You've been rude about your MIL, all because she wants to bring her dog"

Where have I been rude about her?

OP posts:
Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:34

And it's three nights actually.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 11:36

"And I'm very wary of mil - if I give her an inch, she'll take a mile and expect the dog to come every single time. And be deeply affronted if I don't allow it."

There.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 11:36

I'd have said no.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 11:37

Look, I'm not saying it's going to be the easiest thing in the world to care for a dog that you don't like or want there, but is it that much trouble? I doubt it is. And have you actually checked if the dog has any problems apart from being old?

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:40

TidyDancer, that's rude? Seriously? Grin

That's not rude - that's a fact!

You don't know my mil - the one who un-invited wedding guests behind my back!

OP posts:
DoMeDon · 17/07/2011 11:41

PIL have a dog - then MIL gets all the blame. What does FIL say? What does DH say? Where are the men in these situations!?!

They should accomodate the dog in kennels - you have the right to say no. Personally think it makes you a bit mean-spirited but that is your right in your own home.

CandiceMariePratt · 17/07/2011 11:41

Yanbu.

weimy · 17/07/2011 11:41

You need to tell her that you don't like dogs and don't want it there. Then she knows not to come to visit you.

I would never leave mine with anyone who doesn't like dogs. I would be very concerned about them being mistreated.

HairyFrotter · 17/07/2011 11:42

Has she asked if she can bring the dog or is she just expecting to be bringing it. If she has asked then presumably she is open to the prospect that the answer might be no. Just tell her that your home isn't suitable with the garden as it is.
If she is just expecting to bring her ill dog and you to look after it then that is very rude.
If I was you I would offer to find and book a hotel for her that will accommodate her pooch.

DeSelby · 17/07/2011 11:43

YANBU to not want the dog to stay but you should have said no.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:43

Who said I didn't like dogs? And even if I didn't, where does the suggestion of mistreatment come in? More irrationality. Hmm Just because someone doesn't like an animal - and I do like dogs - doesn't mean they're going to maltreat it.

OP posts:
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 17/07/2011 11:44

Awwww, poor mutt.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 11:44

Yes, that is rude. You're right, I don't know your MIL, but perhaps you should've mentioned there is previous here. As I'm sure you know, a stealth reveal never helps you on MN. It sounds awful what she did at your wedding though. But my opinion still stands, your attitude towards this specific weekend is not wonderful. I just don't think accommodating the dog is that difficult. Does the dog actually have incontinence issues? If you have other issues with your MIL, I think you should raise them with her.

coccyx · 17/07/2011 11:45

2 days thats all. its old will probably sleep all day. How do you know it will poo and wee everywhere???
Better than a cat anyway.............................................................Wink

lachesis · 17/07/2011 11:45

'but is it that much trouble? I doubt it is.'

It is to a lot of people. If you don't like dogs, or their poo makes you sick. Or you've just re-decorated.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 11:46

PILs will be there most of the time though! It's insane how much this is being overthought.

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 17/07/2011 11:47

I do feel sad for the dog as it is ill and old but the OP should not feel pressured into looking after a dog under the circumstances she has described. PILs need to make their own arrangements, whether that be a dog friendly hotel (good suggestion) or a friend who is willing to look after it.

Georgimama · 17/07/2011 11:47

I love dogs, and because I love dogs if I owned this poor animal I would have it put down. There is no reason why you should have to clean up after a sick incontinent animal because she isn't a responsible enough dog owner to face the fact it has reached the end. YANBU.

diddl · 17/07/2011 11:48

I think if they would be staying with you & able to look after their own dog, it might not be an issue?

How would it work?

Would they take the dog out last thing at night & be rould at a reasonable time in the morning to take it out?

Do you have an easy to clean area the you could confine it to at night/if you all go out in the day?

Riveninside · 17/07/2011 11:48

Why cant it sleep in the car long as it isnt hot?

messymammy · 17/07/2011 11:48

YANBU
Fuck that, I'd never have a dog in my house, I don't care who owns it or how bad a condition it was in. Her dog, her problem

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 11:49

Can you put a doggy nappy on it...Grin

And you can't leave the poor creature in a car.....Shock

lachesis · 17/07/2011 11:49

They won't be there at night. I'd not want my nights up dealing with their decrepit dog but I'd have told them flat out no.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 11:51

Great idea, Riven! Put it in the car! Better yet, tell them to go take a walk, take the creature to the vet and have him put it out of its misery. Then just tell them it died whilst they were out.