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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't want their dog here

450 replies

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:18

Pil are coming to visit this weekend. They stay in a hotel as our house is too small to accommodate them.

Mil has this ancient dog that is blind and well, imo, ready to be put down. She wants to bring it with them. It will have to stay with us whilst they are in the hotel.

I don't want the dog here, especially not a disabled one that will probably poo and wee every where. We don't have a garden as it's currently a building site.

If I wanted a dog, I'd get one. I don't so I won't. I've got 3 dcs and that's really enough for me. Plus all the cooking and hospitality for pil this weekend - which of course I don't mind but I think bringing the dog is an imposition.

Aibu?

OP posts:
weimy · 17/07/2011 12:04

Keep the dog in the car! FFS Angry

chibi that's a really intelligent generalisation to make.

If we need to stay somewhere we don't take the dogs and never expect anyone to take them for us. Quite simply either myself or my husband stays at home with them. That's what most people I know do and I know a lot of dog owners.

Is this just turning into yet another dog haters thread?

HairyFrotter · 17/07/2011 12:04

Riven that's exactly what I was thinking. You wouldn't expect someone to house your child overnight without considering it to be a BIG favour and fully accepting that they might not be up for it if they don't have kids themselves and don't want the mess/hassle. There does seem to be a bit of an entitled attitude to some of the doggy people on this thread.
Dogs smell - even clean dogs smell of dog which isn't a smell everyone likes. The OP has invited the MIL up - not her dog. It is not the OP's dog and therefore it's care isn't her problem. It would be nice of her to look into hotels that will accept dogs for her MIL. But that is as far as I would go personally.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 12:05

Nope, it isn't rubbish. You might be genuine, but with the majority of stealth reveals, it is done to illustrate the point trying to be made in the OP. That's why they never help. It's just common sense really. Not even remotely suggesting that you need to go through the entire history, just that you could've said "we have history" or "MIL has previously been unreasonable to me, therefore I feel less charitable towards her from the outset". It would've made the situation seem very different.

x-post on the answer.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 12:06

Why will you be cleaning up puddles? Your DH should be ddoing it.

I'd still tell MIL no. Bollocks to that.

Riveninside · 17/07/2011 12:07

I cant see any doghaters on this thread. When i visited people during the day i left my labrador in the car parked outside if it wasnt hot. Nothing wrong with that.
Even when i had a dog i wouldnt want one that pees in my house. Been there, done that and cleaned the farking carpet.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 12:08

Yes reeling. :( It's scary how nasty some people can be. There are always some people who can surprise you with vile opinions.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 12:09

Definite no if you have carpets! That smell will be hard to get out.

Purplebuns · 17/07/2011 12:09

I would probably just keep the dog to one room, like a kitchen if it has tiles so that accidents are easy to clean up.
They are very cheeky to just assume they can have the dog stay with you especially as there are so many dog friendly hotels, if my dog was that poorly I wouldn't want to leave them at all.

weimy · 17/07/2011 12:10

Riven I think lachesis counts as a prime example

diddl · 17/07/2011 12:10

If you´re going to have the dog, then you should insist that they take it out as late as possible & as early as possible the next morning-and if possible, let them clear the mess up-or your husband.

TBH, if the dog is ill, I´m surprised that they are willing to leave it overnight with the possibility of others needing to clean up after it.

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 12:10

I don't necessarily disagree with you OP that bringing the dog is reasonable..

However some of the replies have been pretty cruel don't you think.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 12:11

I don't like dogs, therefore I'd not have one in my house and if someone rocked up and insisted I take their dog in I'd say no and if they stranded it with me I'd call the RSPCA or what have you and be rid of it.

Simples.

chibi · 17/07/2011 12:11

Is itweimy? Most of the dogfans on this thread seem to think it is totally on to bring an ill, elderly, incontinent dog to visit and expect someone else to have overnight care of it. You clearly don't think that that smacks of entitlement, i clearly think.you are bonkers

Poweredbypepsi · 17/07/2011 12:13

I dont really have much of a soft spot for dogs but MIL brings hes with he alot of times she comes. I just ignore it - the dog cant be left on its own and MIL is alone apart from the dog I would feel so mean telling her no.

TidyDancer · 17/07/2011 12:13

chibi, tbf it sounds like PILs have actually only asked to bring the dog, not just announced they were bringing it.

MrsCampbellBlack · 17/07/2011 12:14

I am not a dog person and wouldn't have a dog to stay for 3 days.

Most people I know who have dogs wouldn't presume to bring their dogs on a visit to a house with no dogs.

Afraid I'd just say no and suggest they either book kennels or a pet-friendly hotel.

So yanbu in my opinion.

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 12:15

I have a dog and when i visit my elderly Mum i leave her with friends because she doesn't want the dog staying.

I wouldn't impose my dog on anyone.

But it's the cruel/uncaring responses that i find hard to stomach.

'just get it put down in they PILs absence'
Leave it in a car..etc...FFS

DrGruntFotter · 17/07/2011 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

chibi · 17/07/2011 12:16

tidy i am thinking more of the posters who think she is BU not having the dog to stay

I am mystified by this attitude, particularly when there are alternatives

lachesis · 17/07/2011 12:17

Well, they're imposing the dog on someone they know doesn't like them.

weimy · 17/07/2011 12:18

chibi you initially said most dog owners you did not specify only those on this thread as you have just done. That is why I was critical of your statement which blatently was an unfair generalisation. But however, if you just want to have a go at my mental state just because I dare to disagree with you that's fine it says a lot about you.

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 17/07/2011 12:19

Haven't read the whole thread, but thought it might be useful to consider renting a holiday cottage instead of a hotel room, and make sure you can take pets. There are lots.

:)

HairyFrotter · 17/07/2011 12:19

Well if they have asked the OP is perfectly entitled to say no. It's not mean not to want your house filled with dog smell and piss. I know a good few dog owners who have trained dogs who wouldn't want an incontinent dog forced on them.
Have you suggested a hotel to your PIL OP? It sounds as if it's more your DH who doesn't want to say no - if that's the case I agree with whoever said that he should be 100% responsible for cleaning up any mess/any other taking care of it that is needed.

weimy · 17/07/2011 12:20

reeling I agree with you.

reelingintheyears · 17/07/2011 12:20

Maybe they are,maybe they're not..

Maybe they won't mind if the OP says she doesn't really want to house the dog.

I don't know....

But your suggestions lachesis were hardly helpful at best and pretty damn nasty at worst.

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