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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that some split up families have it easy?

188 replies

24seven · 02/07/2011 13:07

Some families that I know seem to have their cake and eat it.I know it must be hard living alone all the time but my DH works away all week so I am on my own with 3 kids, with no respite. The families I know share childcare in the week and have the DC only every other weekend so that means they have a social life - no worrying about babysitters twice a week and every other weekend free to do what they want. 2 of these women have new partners so their not sad and lonely.

And I think the kids are spoiled with material things too.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 02/07/2011 13:08

you arent on your own,so not the same at ALLHmm

magicmummy1 · 02/07/2011 13:10

Yes, I'm sure it's really easy having to manage without your kids at special times like birthdays, Christmas etc. Knowing that your child has another home over which you have next to no influence. Hmm

AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 13:11

No generalisations in your OP then...?

Maybe I should split up with DH just so me and the DDs can have a better life?

Silly OP.

27tilly · 02/07/2011 13:11

YABVVVVVU

usualsuspect · 02/07/2011 13:12

YABU

27tilly · 02/07/2011 13:12

What about the single parents who have no support and the NRP isn't around? Do they have it easy?

handsomeharry · 02/07/2011 13:13

YABU.

DialsMavis · 02/07/2011 13:14

Well if it appeals to you that much you could always divorce DH. FFS! I have been a single parent and now I have a lovely DP who works way all 6 days a week alot of the time and I can assure you it is not the same thing at all.

27tilly · 02/07/2011 13:14

24seven you sound bitter?

magicmummy1 · 02/07/2011 13:15

Exactly 27tilly. My neighbour is a single mum and the nrp lives abroad. The kids visit once a year and she hates it when they're gone - even if it does give her some "respite". Hmm

lockets · 02/07/2011 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piratecat · 02/07/2011 13:15

oh i would love for my split up family to be all it's cracked up to be.

my ex dh has nothing to do with our dd, she's been in counselling, has had health problems, and oh, yes i havent had a day let alone a weekend on my own, for 4 yrs. I have also in turn been single for 6 yrs.

I would do anything to have a really soulfully happy little girl.

bugger off.

fedupofnamechanging · 02/07/2011 13:16

I think there's a bit of a difference between coping alone with the DC all week, but knowing that your partner is working hard to bring home money, so you don't have to deal with all the financial stress on your own, and being a single parent who also has to bring money into the family and be solely responsible for everything.

Also lots of single parents have exes who don't contribute financially or who cause them stress by being terrible parents or undermining the resident parent.

DollyTwat · 02/07/2011 13:16

It probably seems they have it easy, but when all the financial Is on you it's actually not. I get nothing from my ex. He had them 3 nights a month and 2 weeks of the holidays. Even this he chops and changes to suit him.
I make the most of the child free nights I have
But the endless housework, washing, planning childcare etc all falls to me. With a critical, abusive ex always there

Swap with me for a week Grin

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 02/07/2011 13:16

Why should they have it hard? Confused

It's not as if being a single parent means you deserve to be punished, is it?

BluddyMoFo · 02/07/2011 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 02/07/2011 13:18

Oh go and fuck yourself leave your husband then, you ignorant smug twit.

Animation · 02/07/2011 13:18

YANBU

I used to wonder the SAME thing - when my 3 dds were little - if we were split up at least I might get the weekend to myself!

Infact I really believe some couples do split up for that reason, if they're going through a bad patch.

FooffyShmoofferschinhair · 02/07/2011 13:19

Couldn't even presume to know what life is like for 'split up' families.
Every situation comes with it's own set of problems.

Original poster
24seven · 02/07/2011 13:20

Sorry, I wasn't generalising - only speaking about the 3 families I know. No money worries, ease of babysitting, amicable relationships with ex's, kids with all new gagdets.

Yes I probably am U and bitter - I work hard all day - can never go out at night, struggling to get someone to have my kids so DH and I can go away for one night.I'm being blinkered sorry. I did say some in my title - so as not to be generalising, I'm sorry again if there's some posters who had it hard.

Sad
OP posts:
27tilly · 02/07/2011 13:20

Yes because people just split up their family to have a weekend to their selves Hmm

Animation · 02/07/2011 13:21

QueenOfFeckingEverything

What's with the name calling? Confused

GypsyMoth · 02/07/2011 13:21

24seven....i have it hard every day....but i'm thinking you have a husband who cares about you all on the end of the phone???yes??

GypsyMoth · 02/07/2011 13:22

bringing in an EXTRA wage??

EricNorthmansMistress · 02/07/2011 13:23

You shouldn't have had three children or agreed to him working away if you can't cope with it.