Who should go to work tomorrow?

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?

From who? I patented without a village. My parents and pils lived two hours away, all my friends worked full time, who exactly do you think people can ask to look after their sick child all day?

It's astounding that you can be so ignorant to the reality of many people's lives.

You! 10000%
They can get a locum in to cover his caseload if necessary or cancel the appointments. Not ideal but shit happens and its part and parcel of being a parent.

Honestly, it depends on your incomes really

Yes you should be the one to go to work because calling in sick on day 2 is horrific, but his £500 is that payin bills or are you very stable?

What is shes sick all week? Can you afford to lose 2k ?

Surely you have one family member who can step in for 1 day?

@comealongdobbeh he's a locum GP, he's replaceable with another locum GP. It's unlikely he'll have life or death cases to deal with tomorrow, well certainly not 30 of them anyhow.

In my relationship this wouldn't be a question and it shouldn't in yours. I hope you put your foot down.

Can he do the clinic by phone from home?

I once had to cancel a job interview and withdraw from a process because neither DH nor my MIL could take care of DC in order for me to attend. DC wasn’t yet at nursery and we had no other family nearby. It was a real wake-up call that I needed a backup option.

I found a lovely retired lady whom I began using for semi-regular babysitting so that DC was familiar with her and she could be used on an ad-hoc basis.

But occasionally I still feel a bit miffed about that interview!

He is literally a locum. Another locum will work the day. That is what locum doctors are supposed to do.

We had someone new start, on their second day didn’t turn up, turns out their child had an accident at a club in the evening and spent the night up A&E. Was only off either 1 or 2 days. Unfortunately life happens, especially when you have kids. It’ll be easier for you to be off and start fresh later on in the week or next.

Because this is a man. Clearly with a ‘big job’ !!

Not any of them most likely.

You should go to work. He has had three years of never having to worry about taking a day off for his sick child so he’s been fortunate. You really can’t ring in on your second day.

Doctors have to care for their poorly kids too. It happens, people survive.
My mum was a single-handed mum of 3 and a doctor. There was no one else to look after us. She still had a great career.
Your DH need to put his big boy Daddy pants on stay at home.

Jaw dropping responses from people with a village. All this talk of ‘having back up options’ and ‘discussing back up plans’…what back up options are there, pray tell, for parents without family help? You are privileged indeed if you have people in your life that have the capacity and willingness to take on a sick child for a whole day at short notice! So privileged, in fact, that it blinds you to your privilege.

asking a neighbour…I mean, really?!

in any other situation posters on mumsnet would be saying ‘you had your children, they’re your responsibility, it’s on you to sort them out!’

His colleagues or duty doctor can step in.

@NotSureICanDoIt
Since you've told us your husband's job, you need to tell us yours, for balance.
So what's your job?
It matters because it will influence the answer.

‘Surely you have one family member who can step in for 1 day?’

sentences like this make me stabby.

People saying you need a better plan…. Unless you have a family member willing to get sick it’s very difficult to find ad hoc childcare even more so for a sick child. You’re going to have to find a plan for what happens in this situation. If you can wfh and catch up hours later and not need to take calls or meetings it’s possible. Easier to work with a sick child than a child who is well to be honest.

im on the fence with this losing £500 is a lot of money and letting patients down is unfair but your second say into a job and it won’t look great. Can you do half and half. You go in the morning explain the situation and go home at lunch and he goes in the afternoon.

letting patients down is unfair but to your husband it is just a job and family does come first. If it was you being sick and not able to look after the kids he would have no choice

Surprised there’s literally nobody to sit with her. Surely a local teen would love £100?! I’d be hoping for a miraculous recovery overnight.

‘A local teen’? Sourced from where, exactly? With no plans tomorrow, and a complete stranger to your child? A sick child, at that?! What absolute bollocks.

@HettyTagliatelli he also chose to be a parent and has responsibility for his child.

To be fair, I have a village now but not before school. And what teenager is mooching around on a Tuesday morning?

Not read full thread, apologies if this relates anything.

Thirty patients have jumped through the hoops they've had to jump through to get a GP appointment. Some of them will be ill, in pain, worried. Some might have conditions that will kill or disable them if they don't get a swift diagnosis. Some of them have already booked the time off work to get to the appointment.

Surgeries don't have GPs sat around able to pick up their colleagues appointments, they are seeing other patients.

Your husband is a locum whose future locum contracts depend on him being reliable.

You've only just started and whatever work they expected you to do tomorrow can almost certainly wait.

Unless the surgery can get a locum first thing in the morning, it should be you who stays home.

For the future, you cannot expect your employer to let you "work from home" looking after a sick child.

I wouldn't have had anyone to ask in this situation. I live a good 3 hours drive from my family and didn't know anyone who would have looked after a sick child for me

That's quite normal surely

Not m easy decision in the circumstances

Wow so clearly no one has any idea AT all how a general practice works. Not at all.
So HE is THE locum. He will be covering someone already off. He may be the only doctor covering. Even if he isn't l, the other GP cant just soak up 30 patients! Are you all mad.
What will happen depending on what he is covering. Those 30 patients will be cancelled. They may not be able to be seen for some time. All other appts will likely be changed to urgent only. The chances of a last minute locum to cover him is slim to nothing.
The partners and manager will be pissed. They will definitely never use him again. Depending on what the area is like, he may very well end up blacklisted locally.
I can only imagine the thread if one of you had their GP appt cancelled last minute. You'd be screeching from the rafters.
OP what is your job?

I think the fairest is half and half. You go in to work in the morning and he goes into work in the afternoon.

We cross posted, some sense at last!