Who should go to work tomorrow?

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?

You do. He's not in his probation period.

You

You. 100%

Does it jeopardize his job? Will he still get paid?

From the evidence you've given, you should go to work. But the evidence you've not shared is conspicuous.

You should stay at home

You

He’s had it good so far. It would be very unfair of him to jeopardise your job on only your second day, considering the support he’s had from you.

Why?

I understand why your DP doesn't want to cancel his clinic, but on this occasion I think he should.

Going forward you're going to need to have a discussion about how child sick leave is shared: if he's used to you being a SAHM he's going to have to realise that now you're not he's also going to have to cover his share

so she can lose her job and go back to being a SAHM so the man with the big man job can carry on as though nothing happened?

OP goes to work, big man can stay home and parent his sick child and support his wife and her new ob

In the future I’ll have a lot of flexibility and be able to WFH no problem. Just not yet.

He needs to step up 50:50 now you're working, but 100% during probation period. The fact he's refusing to even during your probation tells you that he still thinks childcare is totally on you. Good luck with that.

Given it's literally your second day, you should go to work.

30 sick people need to see a GP and appointmentS are like hens teeth

You go to work tomorrow but going forwards need to agree on how it will work. We have days where we will generally be off as a quieter day for one of us or have also done a split day in the past as my day skews early and my DH can work later into the day.

You do. but you both then need to come up with some back up options given DH job. Did DH and you not discuss this when you made the decision to go back to work?

No, absolutely won’t jeopardise his job but no, he won’t get paid (he’s a self employed locum GP). He’d probably lose around £500 for the day.

Definitely you should go to work.

His colleagues will have to share his patients.

GPs get sick too and the practice will have a procedure to deal with this. He is established in his role, you are not so your job is at risk in a way his is not.

Do NOT start your new working life with your H believing his job is more important than yours or you will end up with all the responsibility of a SAHM whilst also having a job.

He needs to organise a locum , you can’t possibly stay at home when you are on probation, surely he can understand this. Do not jeopardise this job and big congratulations on getting it ❤️and to those saying you should stay home “ why does the man’s job take precedence “ GP’s can organise cover easier than many professions, I use to be a clinic manager .

No, which is stupid I now see.

Going forwards I’ll be able to wfh, just not yet.

You.

But you won't be able to work from home with a sick preschooler so it still needs to be discussed.

You, because of your probationary period. After your probationary period is complete, you need to work out a 50/50 split in the same way a coparenting couple would (so you - Mon, Tue, Him - Thu, fri and flip fri), stick it in the diary and whoever DD sick day lands on takes the special leave.

Your long term future is as important as his.

Definitely you.

Please make sure it’s you going to work tomorrow. DH needs to stay at home, even if that does let patients down.