Who should go to work tomorrow?

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?

Exactly as would have happened if he got sick himself, or if OP had been travelling with work and he was the only parent around.

The patients will be rescheduled. If anyone was on an urgent pathway, then a non urgent patient of another GP will be moved, or that GP will have taken fewer on the day appointments.

The NHS is staffed by humans. Humans have families and illnesses. Things happen.

Wow I'm stunned by some of the replies on here. So much for women supporting women. And honestly whoever it was who said OP has status from being a doctors wife, what century do we live in. And as for those berating because OP doesn't have a back up plan for this situation come on, again where is the female supporting. There are a lot of very bitter judgemental sounding women on here, come on MN we can do better than this. We're never going to smash the patriarchy if we spend all our time judging and in fighting.

OP I hope you're DC is OK and you've managed to find an acceptable solution. Well done you for returning to work, I hope it all works out. Juggling home/work is hard x

PS looking forward to the 'I'm entitled to my opinion comments'

So maybe it’s all made up? Someone doing a social study to see how opinions differ when the GP is the mother?

MWHIA posted after OP (time stamp is 10h ago on FB, currently) and clearly copied and reversed her situation.

He should go to work. There are patients (and other practice staff) relying on him doing so. Unless you have family or friends that can help you need to phone your work, explain and apologise profusely, and offer to take it as holiday.

Cancel the cheque… and check the timestamp
on the OP, she posted Monday night about Tuesday.

ETA PS - do the spouses of healthcare professionals always have to be the ones who take time off for their kids? What about the spouses of police officers? Care home workers? Road workers - we all need the roads fixed to get around, after all?

Glad to hear you got to do your first day op.

Just a thought - if you’re employed by this company and not self employed, you will not be able to wfh with a 3 year old while they are poorly. Please check your contract. Many companies have policies against WFH while looking after children.

Where was that posted, it's exactly the same!

Anyway lesson to all get your backups sorted! Employers and colleagues should not have to cover for parents having a day off as their child has a routine virus.

Posted on Facebook, probably other social media too. MWHIA satirises sexism by posting reverses like “I’m so lucky my CEO wife babysits - Luke, 40, homemaker”

Again, what backups?

You and others keep asserting that every person should have friends or family or local teenagers willing and able to take a sick child all day on a weekday with a call the night before. But the world just doesn’t work like that for many, many people. I, for one, don’t have any SAHM friends, local relatives had children later than me so were full time workers when mine were nursery age and grandparents all live 100+ miles away, so were more useful for helping out with planned stuff with well kids (eg nursery closure over Xmas)

Even emergency nanny services are likely to have limits as to the illnesses they cover, because their staff won’t want to come down with something that stops them taking other jobs a couple of days later.

And the reason why most workplaces have policies on dependents’ leave is exactly in recognition of this - that parents (or other carers) will sometimes have to take leave (booked as holiday or unpaid so no one is “profiting” from it) to care for dependents.

ETA do you also think that employers and colleagues “shouldn’t have to cover” for maternity leave, parental leave, bereavement leave?

Maybe everyone on the thread who's told OP she should have emergency backup arranged to look after a feverish, vomiting 3 year old on a weekday in term time can start a rota. Even if you're not in the same area as OP, dont worry. There's bound to be plenty of demand for you elsewhere, and this is obviously an issue some of you feel strongly about.

Some people clearly don’t have enough going on in their lives!

Me?

Obviously I support maternity leave, annual leave, sick leave. I support employees rights.

I actually fully support carers/parental leave. To a point. A very sick dc of course should have a parent present. A routine virus that 3yr olds get on a frequent basis? No. Have a contingency plan. You really shouldn't take days off if a dc has a cold. If you do you'll be incredibly unpopular with colleagues.

You've still not actually explained what this contingency plan is. As with many routine viruses, this one has involved vomiting, so be sure your answer includes that.

Again, what contingency plan?

You can think that parents “shouldn’t” take that time, but the law disagrees with you. I’m sure there are employers that think employees “shouldn’t” take parental leave. Luckily the law disagrees with them too.

As stated up thread, DH and I shared time off when the kids were ill. We booked it from
our holiday allowance, I stayed in that same job for at least 5 years after my first was born and DH is still with the same employers. Guess we didn’t piss them off that much, huh?

Plus, you are forgetting that colleagues who are parents are in exactly the same boat. A few might be lucky enough to have a local non working GP who doesn’t mind risking getting sick, but many will be doing the exact same swap and juggle with a partner and will be glad to see they won’t get a lot of huffy responses when their turn comes around.

You are talking about a different aspect of child care than I was. My comment was about a sick child.

You completely support the right to take parental leave....right up until the point they actually need to take it.

No! I don't mean you, I mean MWHIA unless you are MWHIA!

You should go to work. He should support your career the same way you have been for him.

Staying here to see what sort of contingency plan you are picturing...

Well done for doing that. Hope your dc is better soon.

I promise I’m not 😀

I used emergency nannies a few times when the DC were small - they are not just expensive, they are hard to get at really short notice.

My company has a contract with one of the big agencies to get priority emergency care for our staff caught in this type of situation. The services are largely based around cities and constantly booked out - even as a priority member in a city you need to book at least a day in advance so first day of sickness will not be covered, its primarily of benefit to help people get back to work from the second day. We are also accommodating when people try to juggle work and a sick child from home - but its an exception situation and is better than losing them for a day. That said, our people tend to be highly motivated and pisstakers are uncommon.

Even if the OP lives in a major city, the best she can hope for even registered with an agency is for second day cover.