Who should go to work tomorrow?

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?

So what, he’s a GP not God.

The surgery will manage just as they would if he had the shits.

I more meant that I’ll have the flexibility to work while she’s sleeping or in the evening to catch up.

Hmm as its only your second day, I think you need to go to work. It wouldn't look good to call in.

Who do you know local that you could ask for emergency care? There are Nanny Agencies that offer this service too?

This - he can get a locum, you will not get a second chance and they will assume you are unreliable. Is there really no-one else who can help out? My DGD died two days after I returned to work after maternity leave - I got the side eye from my boss and I had been there ten years!

What will actually be the repercussion of him taking the day off?
What will actually be the repercussion of you taking the day off?

YOU GO IN

• if you might actually lose the job because it's the kind of job where they can fire you for anything in your probationary period.
• his colleagues will be overworked but still see most people

HE GOES IN

• if you'll just maybe not get paid and will look a bit lazy and won't make a good first impression,
• if someone with potential cancer may not get seen and then they might wait a week for another appointment while their cancer is spreading, and they might have long term disability or die because of the delay.

So he needs to cover it on this occasion, otherwise you may not have a future at work!
Even although DH earns more then me, when DC were young I was always clear it was equally important for me to be able to go to work and so we took it in turns to cover sick children if a grandparent couldn’t. It’s definitely something that needs discussing and a plan agreed

You also can't work from home with a sick three year old - just won't be possible. You need a better plan.

They can share out his 30 patients amongst other GPs.

You go to work. It's your second day. You need to establish you're a reliable employee.

He can't pull the 'ill people are depending on me' card to always get out of workplace disruption. The NHS has to have ways to deal with this. Partners of NHS staff can't carry the can every time.

The whole point of being a locum is the flexibility…. There’s a certain irony if he is refusing to take the day off given that

Presumably another locum can be called to cover for him

There's no way I'd want to take a day off in my first month, let alone first week, if it was a job I wanted to keep

DH was a cancer surgeon. His operation lists came before everything . I would pay off duty nurses substantial amounts to look after poorly dc. But I built up a trusted network. I don’t see how a locum gp could hire a locum but maybe things have changed.

Absolutely you go to work.

Dp should stay home.
The gp practice will have contingencies in place for if a gp is unable to work due to calling in sick etc. They can apply it tomorrow.
It's your second day. It will look terrible if you don't go in and will jeopardise your job.

No friend, family, sister, neighbour available I suppose ?

Will your DHs patients still be seen by someone if he doesn’t go in?

If his patients will still get to see a different GP on the same day, then you go to work. If you going to work means that 30 people have their doctors appointments cancelled and rebooked for another day, then your DH needs to go to work. Assuming that your job doesn’t involve people’s health, his job is more important.

This
you go to work

How much do you both earn? You need to do what's best for your family.

He takes the day off. You lose this job and it’s the end of your marriage. You’ll resent him forever.

If he’s a locum and he cancels last minute, the surgery will probably never book him again, so depends how much locum work is around at the moment as to whether he can afford to lose this (assuming he is the higher/main earner?)

Having said that, I still think you should be the one to go to work.

100% you go to work. Second day! Definitely can’t stay home.

What is your job OP?

No, unfortunately.

Why?