Is finishing inside someone without asking normal if no condom was used?

[Sendingpositivehubsprayers]

Date a week ago came inside me without asking. Is this just normal since we weren’t using protection so ‘anything goes’ type thing.

Before anyone has a go at me, it’s my first time doing this (unprotected sex with someone new). Date went well, we booked a last minute hotel after it and he did actually say ‘by the way, I don’t have any condoms’. I shrugged and then he completely dropped the subject of contraception. Didn’t ask me if I was on the pill etc

Had great sex and he finished twice over the evening/morning. Both times inside me.

The first time he didn’t actually say he was about to. The second time it looked like he was about to and I said ‘tell me when you are’ and he told me as he was doing it. Too much info but the second time around was asked from a sensual erm point of view. Not so I could get off him in time

Given that any unprotected sex can cause STI, and pregnancy, why if so would he need to ask or tell me he’s going to finish inside me?

Or is it just a case of you already agreed to the no condom thing?

Really like him. He’s on holiday for two weeks now but seeing each other when back etc

So feel a bit confused as I’ve read something on another thread on a different website that spoke about something similar and views seem to be it’s not okay

If two adults have agreed to have unprotected sex, part of that very important conversation needs to be what's going to happen at the point of climax.

Well you obviously didn’t have an issue with it if you did it again without a conversation

I think you should have raised that before having sex. You knew there were no condoms, what did you think would happen? Him mentioning the lack of condoms was your perfect opportunity to set this as a requirement, although you should've just said no sex then.

I’m not saying I am angry or pointing fingers at him. I’m just wondering if other people would (even if they admitted to no condom use)

I’d assume that if you’re having sex without a condom it’s ok for him to finish inside you, as that’s part of sex. If you wanted him to withdraw before finishing then I’d expect you to state that in advance.

That’s fair enough. Thank you

again for anyone reading, I’m asking from a place of curiosity. I’m not sat here angry at him

Do you need the morning after pill? Are you on contraception? This is a weird thread.

You both should have done better, if he says no condom and you say nothing more I can understand him presuming you are on the pill, he’s tried to have the conversation. Withdrawal wouldn’t have stopped STDs anyway so not great planning.

What is it you're actually asking though?

Is it, "Would other women tell the man not to finish inside without a condom if they didn't want him to?"

Because I think it's safe to say the majority of us would have this adult conversation.

If you have both agreed no condom is required then perfectly normal

I would actually consider a man that stopped just before to ask a little childish. It is also a mood breaker to me. It just as building up to a climax you stop to ask something already agreed makes no sense.

At the point of no condom, most women will state if they are not on contraception and ask them to withdraw. If they don’t, the bloke either assumed you are on the pill and said nothing or has vasectomy and didn’t tell you, or simply doesn’t think unwanted pregnancy is his issue. If you had asked him to withdraw and he didn’t, well…

He’d assume you’re on the pill/IUD. When he comes back, tell him you’re not on any contraception.

If you're having unprotected sex with someone I think there should be a talk about withdrawing or not before you actually get to having sex. but ultimately withdrawal isn't very effective as contraception and without a condom STIs are still a risk. Unprotected sex requires absolute trust in each other imo and it sounds like you were both a bit awkward about discussing contraception

I don’t think you should be having sex if you’re not responsible enough to have a conversation about safe sex and contraception before penetration takes place. Why did you ‘just shrug’ when you’d booked a hotel room and he said he had no condoms? I mean, this is you potentially facing an STI and an unplanned pregnancy? You’re responsible for what yo7 allow to happen to your body!

Withdrawal isn't contraception.

So I wouldn't have thought that needed to be discussed - but you shouldn't be having sex with someone if you want to discuss stuff but feel you can't.

The risks of unprotected sex are more than getting pregnant. There are options if you get pregnant, some STIs are for life.

You shrugging after he said he didn't have condoms would be taken to mean you are on contraception, but surely you would have said that to him?
Are you worried about STDs?

I think you should always assume penetrative sex (or PIV to use the MN acronym) includes finishing.

If I've understood your post, he gave you the opportunity to tell him to pull out the first time and you didn't, so he assumed it wasn't a problem for you the second time round.

i don't think good communication requires tick box questions. If we had obviously agreed sex was on the cards and the guy told me he didn't have any condoms, I would take that as the ideal point to tell him about any boundary I had about him coming inside me.

Have a look at this... you can have one each, and increase the speed as necessary. (Saves awkward/clumsy remarks.)

HoAoOo Pet Training Clicker with Wrist Strap - Dog Training Clickers (New Black + Blue) : Amazon.co.uk: Pet Supplies

Him: "I don't have any condoms"
You "it doesn't matter"

= That's fine, I accept that I might catch an STI and I'm on other contraception so pregnancy isn't a risk.

Him: "I don't have any condoms"
You: "ok, but don't come inside me"

= I accept that I might catch and STI and whilst I know the withdrawal method doesn't always prevent pregnancy, it's a risk I'm willing to take.

This

It's normal to not pull out unless specified in my experience.
Pulling out won't protect from STIs and it's not a reliable contraception method.

so he can click at the moment of climax?!!!

Okay so plot twist, have I mislead HIM into thinking I’m on contraception? Since people are saying me not saying anything about lack of condoms is me saying it’s okay, STI is a risk but I’m protected against pregnancy

Omg, I really thought women were so much more savvy these days.

Please treat yourself with more respect and insist upon a condom before you are infected with HIV.