Is finishing inside someone without asking normal if no condom was used?

[Sendingpositivehubsprayers]

Date a week ago came inside me without asking. Is this just normal since we weren’t using protection so ‘anything goes’ type thing.

Before anyone has a go at me, it’s my first time doing this (unprotected sex with someone new). Date went well, we booked a last minute hotel after it and he did actually say ‘by the way, I don’t have any condoms’. I shrugged and then he completely dropped the subject of contraception. Didn’t ask me if I was on the pill etc

Had great sex and he finished twice over the evening/morning. Both times inside me.

The first time he didn’t actually say he was about to. The second time it looked like he was about to and I said ‘tell me when you are’ and he told me as he was doing it. Too much info but the second time around was asked from a sensual erm point of view. Not so I could get off him in time

Given that any unprotected sex can cause STI, and pregnancy, why if so would he need to ask or tell me he’s going to finish inside me?

Or is it just a case of you already agreed to the no condom thing?

Really like him. He’s on holiday for two weeks now but seeing each other when back etc

So feel a bit confused as I’ve read something on another thread on a different website that spoke about something similar and views seem to be it’s not okay

You're not out of touch.
Of course the norm would be to finish in there.
Any alternative is a bit messy and also an anti-climax. Like trying to stifle a sneeze, just too much effort.

I'm shocked by how careless some adults are over their sexual health!

true i just meant if he was asking lots of male toilets have machines such as in pubs; one i go to has tights and tampons in the ladies, condoms and vibrating cock rings in the mens

Oh that's not good.

I think most ladies pub toilets I've been in also have condom machines.

Right.

I wonder if she asked him if he minded her climaxing?!

It's a given that P-in-V sex = cumming inside, as far as I'm concerned.
Especially as it sounds like OP was on top (she mentions climbing off) so he was kinda trapped anyway!!

I’ve been married 16 years and in the same relationship for 20 so it’s not like I’m up to speed with sexual etiquette outside of that but it two adults have consented to sexual intercourse without a condom then cumming inside you would be perfectly normal.

Me and my husband have been together 35 years and I’ve had a hysterectomy so no worries about getting pregnant plus I’m 49’so not happening 🤣 but he always always asks me if it it’s ok sometimes it’s no I’m not squelching all day 😉

Oh I know I'd have no right to be.

As I said, I always took care of my own contraception with a new partner. But if I was the kind of idiot who didn't, I'd also likely be the kind of idiot who didn't think through the consequences of my actions, and expected someone else to do it for me.

And believe me, I know babies are life-changing. DD turned up when I was 24 (as I said, despite two forms of contraception). DP and I had only been a couple for less than a year and were planning on being childfree. She also didn't announce herself until DP went into labour. So that was a shock!

She's 18 now and just buggered off to uni last week. Wouldn't change the last 18byears for anything, but they weren't exactly the plan!

Fucking hell op. I really don’t know where to start with this …. 🙄
are you very young ?

Really they should both get STI checks

This. But I also think pretty reckless to have unprotected sex with someone you barely know and without any real conversation about it.

Did everyone ignore the bit where I said I wouldn't be in that situation in the first place because I always used a condom?

The bloke in OPs post is an idiot (as is OP). IF I was an idiot, then I'd be likely to do idiotic things, like not wear a condom, and assume that the woman had taken care of protection.

Before anyone has a go at me, it’s my first time doing this (unprotected sex with someone new)

Respectfully, OP, this is precisely why people are calling you to account. You are behaving incredibly irresponsibly. Just don't have unprotected sex until you know the other person will and/or have had sexual health checks, regardless of pregnancy protection. Don't have it at all.

You could have left out the part where you said you were a man and we would have known you were a man anyway.

There is a lot of judgement in this thread. Lots of women have unprotected sex in the moment. It is not advisable, but none of us should be as horrified as some are here.

Then what's the point in saying any of it?

If I was a snooker table I'd have six pockets, but that's not relevant to the conversation either 🤷‍♂️

😂

That's not for you to say how horrified some people should/shouldn't be at someone potentially catching an STI, that may stay with them for life.

And of course seriously harm a baby.

This.

Has everyone forgotten the AIDS crisis. Carry condoms and get tested regularly people!

FFS.

So now you might have AIDS or be pregnant, basically.

For him it’s normal because he takes no risk.

For you you perhaps need to decide if those are the risks you want to take or if you’d rather communicate and avoid them.

If you can’t do this it might be safest to avoid unprotected sex, or sex anyway with relatively unknown men?

No. Both of you had unprotected sex which you both know carries a high risk of pregnancy, and a risk of catching an STI.

If you are able to agree to book a hotel, and agree to have sex without a condom, you should be mature enough to be able to have this conversation (usually in advance of the fact).
Never make assumptions about other people's understanding of your unspoken requirements
Get MAP (or is it now too late!?!?)
Get STI tests
Grow up

Just like it's on us to tell them to pull out if we think it makes a difference, I believe it's on them to ask if we are using other contraception. By not clarifying these things both parties are implying they are happy with the associated risks.

I would say it’s a bit late now but the shrug of the shoulders probably wasn’t the right response to what he said, the shoulder shrug would have given him the impression you weren’t bothered.

As you can get pregnant by “pre cum” then having un protected sex at all is the problem op

Of course he's risked AIDS (well, HIV).

And all the other nasty infections.