Women in your 50s, what would you prioritise in your 40s?

[Suddenly40yo]

Women in your 50s+, would appreciate your wisdom. I’ve recently turned 40 and have been thinking about priorities for the next 10 years. I have lots of ambitions and plans (exercise more, get promotion, spend more time with children and husband, start my own business, etc.), but my time/energy is limited. What did you realise in your 50s-60s as being important to focus your energy on in your 40s? Did you miss that promotion that didn’t happen, extra money not earned from corporate job, time not spent with kids, not exercising enough?

for background - I work full time in finance (middle management), very toxic place with a lot of stress of a client facing role, not quite the field or environment I thrive in, but it does pay ok-ish money. I have 4 kids: toddler to teenager, no family around apart from husband who also works a lot.

my dream has always been to run my own company, but I’ve never had time or money to get going, still have a mortgage to pay. I still have aspirations to do it, but it also requires time and effort.

another option is to try and find a different job, though it comes with a risk of a new place being not much better than current one and new issues on top.

what would you really prioritise in this kind of set up? Would you try to put corporate role on back seat or actually put all effort in chasing a promotion? Would you leave corporate and try starting own business? What else?

Mobility type work for injury reduction.

starting a SIPP

@paddyshanksI’ve got good bones already- because I do lots of exercise, take a vit D supplement and eat a lot of calcium rich foods. No need for hrt for me

Same!
Far better to do load- bearing exercise, stay agile, eat healthily rather thank catastrophising and medicalising everything.

For me it was sepsis from a ruptured appendix, but yes, such things can really fuck up your fitness and retirement plans!

What exactly do you mean please? I’m on that road now and gp is reluctant to prescribe hrt, any advice would be appreciated and experience.

I was prescribed antidepressants at 45 by two (TWO!) male GPs when I presented with a spate of UTIs, bladder weakness, soreness/lack of interest in sex, insomnia, anxiety, and brand new depression. My dr said it couldn’t be perimenopause as I was still having regular periods. When I questioned if it could be perimenopause and why would I suddenly need citalopram, my dr waved his hand and said “things change.”

Despite being ‘scared’ of HRT, I got an online private prescription from Boots, for micronised progesterone and transdermal oestrogen gel, felt better practically immediately, and after a few months worked up the courage to go back to demand HRT from the GP, only to see a woman GP who immediately prescribed it all for me plus vaginal estriol cream.

That was years ago and HRT has utterly changed my life for the better in tens of ways.

Weight training, HRT, and stop giving a fuck about work.

Do the job, but you dont have to care about it.

I was going to give a couple of ideas, but I see the OP hadn’t come back yet to even acknowledge any responses.

So my advice would be don’t waste time typing stuff online.

I’m not OP but have found it all really interesting and helpful, so hoping people continue to share their ideas.

I don’t want to make whole thread only about myself or reveal more info (eg whole HRT advice is not relevant to me due to surgical menopause, but could be helpful to someone in similar situation), I was looking for more general wisdom. All the replies are very helpful in setting up priorities, thanks ladies

With regards a potential change of career, I recently listened to Mel Robbins Take control of your life on audible. There were a number of coaching sessions one of which was a guy who really wanted to move from a corporate career to something totally different but was stuck on how to do that. She recommended breaking it down into small blocks and doing one of those at a time to make it more doable and also to allow him to explore if indeed it was the right move for him. Worth a listen if you feel you’re at a crossroads point.

I do all of the above and still take HRT

Save money for whatever further education your children want to do. Even with loans it's expensive!
Make time for female friends. Early investment in same age female friendships really pays off when you're perimenopausal. No suffering alone and people to listen/moan with and advise.

Also seconded on the making sure you don't get gaslit by GPs for being too young for HRT. It's an absolute game changer. And yes, a twitchy eye can be a symptom!

Oh and keep fit.

Edited: sorry, just saw later posts. Saving money still stands. Female friend investment too as good when parents start to fade and you need support.

My point wasn’t about you not offering personal information. It was a point that there was zero interaction or acknowledgement from you with regards to advice that had been offered over a couple of days. I won’t labour that point any more, I hope you get the information you need.

I wish I’d started a proper pension / investment plan and got a wealth manager earlier. Having one has completely revolutionised my finances.

Discard anything that doesn’t made you truly happy - job, people etc.

Get out of your comfort zone as much as possible. Learn everything you can about yourself.

Find a job that gives your purpose and which you love. It will get you through the days where you’re lacking energy.

I don’ t have kids so all my energy goes into my job and building an amazing career that will support financial freedom and great retirement in the next 10 - 15 years.

Pension and fitness