Women in your 50s, what would you prioritise in your 40s?

[Suddenly40yo]

Women in your 50s+, would appreciate your wisdom. I’ve recently turned 40 and have been thinking about priorities for the next 10 years. I have lots of ambitions and plans (exercise more, get promotion, spend more time with children and husband, start my own business, etc.), but my time/energy is limited. What did you realise in your 50s-60s as being important to focus your energy on in your 40s? Did you miss that promotion that didn’t happen, extra money not earned from corporate job, time not spent with kids, not exercising enough?

for background - I work full time in finance (middle management), very toxic place with a lot of stress of a client facing role, not quite the field or environment I thrive in, but it does pay ok-ish money. I have 4 kids: toddler to teenager, no family around apart from husband who also works a lot.

my dream has always been to run my own company, but I’ve never had time or money to get going, still have a mortgage to pay. I still have aspirations to do it, but it also requires time and effort.

another option is to try and find a different job, though it comes with a risk of a new place being not much better than current one and new issues on top.

what would you really prioritise in this kind of set up? Would you try to put corporate role on back seat or actually put all effort in chasing a promotion? Would you leave corporate and try starting own business? What else?

Jumping off after lots of people said exercise, can i ask what people's exercise routines are? I know people say cardio and strength but i'm keen to know what that looks like in real activities and how often etc.
At present i work 7:15 - 6:00 4 days a week, zumba one evening which i love, choir one evening then run around to kids clubs 2 evenings so 3 evenings when actually free. Need some inspiration! TiA

Absolutely this. Pay as much into your pension as you can, and look after your body. Eat healthy, ditch the booze (or cut it back a lot) and lift weights or do some kind of resistance training to make you strong.

I would prioritise myself more! I'm about to turn 49 and I've come to realise nobody else really gives a sh*t about me, how I am or how I feel but have expected that from me for themselves for many years, that includes my husband and son! I've given myself and not done things I may have wanted to, to be able to prioritise other people in my life so now it's time for me.

And, if you want more time, definitely DO NOT start your own business!

I am 48: definitely prioritise health and fitness in this decade. I joined a gym and feel better for it.
Finances - pay the mortgage off. I am now in a position where I can work 4 day weeks. I find I am tired ( teaching full time up until now) and I am hoping the midweek day off will help.
Sadly something that has over- shadowed my forties was a series of bereavements: my dad when I was 40 and my brother two years ago. I was executor for my brother's will and luckily had a lot of support from an older colleague at work who knew a lot about property and solicitors. It was a learning curve and a whole new level of being the responsible adult especially as my nephews were relying on me to get the house sold. A lot of people my age have lost parents or close family so cherish them whilst you can.
I am enjoying my kids being teenagers: more independence and it's lovely to cook and chats about subjects at school together. A big milestone was my oldest boy finishing his GCSEs. I felt massively proud of him and a sense of completion.
I find I have more time now to spend with my friends and have enjoyed more concerts, galleries, exhibitions and going up to London.
Seize the day!
I have rediscovered old friendships, more time for a proper relationship with my husband and I am just grateful for each day to be honest.
I also recommend having cats - something to care for now the children are more independent!

I go to a CrossFit gym (but mostly do ATHX which is much easier technically) and weightlifting. Run once or twice a week. All these are really quick. I go to Reforner Pilates and that’s good because you don’t get super sweaty and can get back in your normal clothes afterwards. I love swimming but there’s too much faff involved so I only go now and again. I would recommend simply finding something near your house. Also at my gym the community is tremendously supportive so im benefiting a lot from that too.

I get up at 5am to incorporate exercise into my daily routine.

Current is nivea.

Previously used neutrogena.

Google will help you find one 😉

This is a great thread OP!

I am mid 40s and following with interest!

A friend of mine does CrossFit and she looks amazing! I do a half hour dance class once a week and elliptical when I can. Have done more this holiday as my son loves the gym. I was considering doing swimming but it's hard to book it all up at our leisure centre. Used to go swimming with the children every weekend. I also do a 40 mins country walk at least once a week. I need to do more weights and am looking into this and trying to build it into my gym routine. We just have a PureGym membership - good value.

Diet and fitness
Friendships
I did set up my own business in my forties and would say that was the best decision I made.

I’m 44 and I get up at 5am to make sure I prioritise getting exercise in. Currently do 3 x weights sessions per week, 2 x mat Pilates classes and one spin class (would usually be a run but I currently have a knee injury).

I used to do a lot more cardio, but when I switched the balance in favour of weights and Pilates, I saw a lot more impact on my physique. I now have a lean and toned physique with visible abs.

Family holidays. We did loads. My very happiest memories. Kids are now 23 and 21 and got their own lives, but memories of those times with us all together when they were so easy, such good company, seeing and exploring different places, are my very best.

Jesus. Burst out laughing !!!

Thank you for the thread and all the responses! 39 here and have a good pension but have let many other things mentioned fall by the wayside in the young kids years and with a busy job - health/fitness, friends and family. A good reminder about what’s important in life!

Fitness, healthy eating, staying slim, collagen.

I would agree with this

Do something that makes you excited. OU degree for me, keep your social life fresh, exercise!!

Would just want to echo gitness.By early 50s it has really become obvious in my friend ne groop managed to stay fit. In terrms of looks, physique but also general fitness, posture, the way clothes fit,abitlity to walk fast and keep going out and about. Would.recommend mix of cardio,yoga/pilates and strength training.

Kids -teach them the whole range of basic household tasks

Friends-dont let friendships slip,when you have more kid free time you dont want to be scarbbling about for friends to do stuff with!

Limit unnecessary spending wherever and shovel away into your pension and some in kids savings.

Not easy but thats my lessons as a mid 50s woman!

Add as much as you can to your pension, make sure it's invested in a fund that will grow, you may really want to retire earlier than you think.

I developed Psoriatic Arthritis, an autoimmune inflammatory arthritis. Started with carpal tunnel in one wrist, then the other, then both ankles, knees and shoulders. Only a bit of scalp psoriasis before which cleared up. Was all kicked off by extreme stress of my mum being hospitalised abroad, looking after my kids and trying to hold a job down. Looking at the prospect of lifelong medication now.

Keeping your weight within the BMI recommended limits and a bloody good pension and skin protection from the sun. All of this is only possible if you have the means and time to do this.

I can’t really help with the first things, but consider testosterone to help with the tiredness and also adjusting your doses of hrt. You don’t need to feel like this x

Friends who have left their husbands in their early 50s/kids finished school all say they wished they’d done it earlier as they were like single mums getting very limited support from their DHs. So if that even vaguely applies, then take a hard look at your relationship now and finances.
Also, do not give up work or if you have, find another field to support yourself. It’s always a risk to opt out even if your relationship is solid.

This. I'm 49 but have spent the last three years in a consistent strength and conditioning class three times a week, with heavy lifting. I'm so strong and sturdy now, and have very little aches and pains once I'm moving regularly. I used to think I was weak. I can give my 12 year old a piggy back a good distance. I can lift a big bag of compost from a high stack in the garden centre no problem. I feel that if I keep this up I'll be making a big difference to my future self. My metabolic health is excellent, which I'm putting down to muscle being so metabolically positive.
I left the toxic job, took a few months off, and have found myself a new job that suits me much better, with actual prospects.
My next plan is to just go for it from a financial perspective for the next 10 years. Push on with work and pension and be in a place to make choices in ten years time.
Health and wealth, that's my focus.

Weight machines and free weights both count as strength training. But you need to lift heavy. Twenty reps that leave you able to do 20 more is of very little use. You need to up the weight until you can only do 4 or 5 reps in a set with good form (don't push all the way to failure - that way lies injury - but the last one in a set should be a struggle to do properly).