I have to do a horrible thing tonight and I’m not sure I can do it (trigger warning r*pe)

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Something awful happened at the weekend, a ‘friend’ raped me, and tonight I have to go and do a video interview. I’m just not sure that I can go through with it. Even thinking about it makes me shake. I’ve done the forensics bit at the weekend, this is just the interview instead of making a statement.

Not sure what I’m posting for really. Has anyone else done one of these before? What if they don’t believe me?

I am so sorry to hear that you were raped @NotSureICanDoIt . I don't have any wise words but I will be thinking of you as you give the interview (if you feel that you can). I am so keen to not add pressure and hope that you have some good friends around you to support you right now. Sending love.

Oh you poor thing, that's an awful thing to have happened. What a bastard he is, doing that to you, particularly as he was gaslighting you into thinking he was a friend.

I hope it all goes well today. I'll be thinking of you.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Do you have a friend or family member you can talk to and who can go with you?

Edited to add that you have done amazingly already by reporting and doing the forensics part.

I’m sorry this has happened to you

Have you been in touch with any local rape crisis charities? They can support you with police interviews if you would like someone there with you.

Sending a gentle hand-hold, I’m so sorry you’re going through this x

I am so sorry. So fucking sorry.

And I am so proud of you for choosing to do this, if it is the right thing for you.

I will be thinking of you this evening and metaphorically holding your hand.

💐

I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve gone through. Getting through the forensics after was really brave too.

I don’t have any experience but I believe there are specially trained officers who are there to support you these days, not dismiss you. Have you felt supported so far by them?

Hope you have people surrounding you that can help. Keep chatting here so we can try and help you get through it with kindness.

I'm so sorry what happened to you, my heart really goes out to you. I've just googled rape crisis line. They are open 24/7, the number is: 0808 500 2222
This is their website. Maybe talking to someone from there will help you today?

So sorry this has happened to you. Well done for reporting the scummy bastard.
What time is your interview and we will send you strengh through the power of all us females. We will be with you in spirit. 🌷x

I'm so sorry.

1. they will believe you
2. (and this will sound harsh apologies). If you don't report it and he will do it again to someone else. He will think he can get away with it. Do the interview for not just yourself but for everyone of us too.

You brave woman. X

I'm sorry this has happened to you. You are very brave. Sending hugs and a handhold, you can do this.

Thank you everyone. The police have been amazing, cannot fault them at all, and they’ve signposted me to a couple of places for support, but I just feel like I want to clam up and pretend it never happened.

The interview is at 7:30pm. My DP is dropping me off but we have a toddler so he can’t stay.

I believe you op
And I also believe you an do this, and if you can you will be doing it for all us other woman and girls

I'm so sorry this happened to you

Can you get someone else to have the toddler if you need your dh support

It will be hard. It will be awful to relive. BUT… do not let this man get away with what he has done.

You can do this. I believe you and I believe in you. Sending all the strength to you. 💐

I would actually advise against this.

I would take a female friend if you can.

I had a similar situation where I wanted to support someone close/family but couldn't because of conflict of interest within an investigation. She took a friend and years later said that it was right because there were things that she just wouldn't have been able to say in fron of me and I think maybe that would be the case with many people and their partners. At least so soon after it happening.

What an awful thing to go through, OP. You've got this far, don't let him get away with it. I don't think the interview will be a rushed thing, if that helps. I think they're going to give you time to say what you need to, in your own words (don't worry if they don't come out quite right, other than the fact you need to make it clear you didn't want it).

As said, is there someone who could have toddler for you or someone who could come with you. A good friend won't ask too many questions if they're free.

Im so sorry for what you have been through/are going through. Please don’t let this bastard get away with what he did to you. How dare he! I hope the police make it as painless and stress free as they can xx

You are so brave to have got this far and I’m so sorry this has happened to you. You can do this. I believe you and you have my full support. I can’t imagine what it would be like to relive it, it’s upset me to think about it. Take care xx

I think it’s best if I go on my own. I can’t deal with someone else’s reaction to what I have to say, if that makes sense?

I will be thinking about u OP. I think having someone with you, female, might be a good idea. You may not want this or it might not be possible. In your position i would probably have asked my sister, mom, or friend I don't think I would have asked partner. Sending u massive hug. Respect to you OP, whatever you decide to do.

You are so brave. I'm sorry this happened to you, but you have all of us standing in absolute solidarity with you.

Sorry that happened to you ❤️

I’m sure we’ll all be thinking of you later

I have done this.

It's not about them believing you or not.

It's your opportunity to give your version of what happened.

It is filmed so it can be used as evidence.

When i did mine it was in a comfy room with a police officer and my mum was waiting downstairs. She wasn't allowed in with me.

It wasn't the most pleasant thing, but neither is the forensic sampling. If you've done that you can do this.

I am so sorry this happened too you. Please use the resources available. I was signposted to my local support services. The affect on my mental health and relationship was huge.

(I was the victim of a sexual assault)

I completely understand that you don’t want anyone else that you know in with you, you end up feeling responsible for their upset about what you are saying.

im sure the police will provide support for you in this setting and will absolutely take things at your pace.

you’re doing the right thing love.

im so sorry this happened to you.