I have to do a horrible thing tonight and I’m not sure I can do it (trigger warning r*pe)

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Something awful happened at the weekend, a ‘friend’ raped me, and tonight I have to go and do a video interview. I’m just not sure that I can go through with it. Even thinking about it makes me shake. I’ve done the forensics bit at the weekend, this is just the interview instead of making a statement.

Not sure what I’m posting for really. Has anyone else done one of these before? What if they don’t believe me?

I am sure we are all wishing you the very best OP. You are doing the right thing. He needs locking up and getting evidence will help that happen. Hugs sent to you.

It and you are awesome.

I bloody love that!

Well done on getting through the interview. Whatever else happens with your case you know you've done all you can to hold him accountable for what he did.

He will hopefully get everything he deserves!

I hope you're doing OK today. 🌻

Adding another huge well done, OP.

Hopefully his idiocy in denying you were even on the boat will come back and bite him. As well as the DNA evidence don't most marinas have CCTV too?

Wishing you all the best going forward - you've got this! x

Well done brave lady.
Take care.

Hi OP, I’m so sorry this has happened to you and a huge well done in getting through your interview.
It is so understandable that you have questions and anxieties about the process. Did the police or SARC staff discuss ISVA support with you? An ISVA is specially trained to support victim/survivors of sexual violence through the criminal justice process and can be such an invaluable resource. I can signpost you to some more information if you like, or you can ask your police officer about services in your local area.
Take care x

The police did give me details of people/places where I can access support but tbh I just feel a bit overwhelmed.

Give yourself time to process everything that's happened OP. You might decide to access support in a week, a month, even a year or not at all. Just do what you think is right for you ❤️

Proud of you op
well done

standing with you x

I'm sure they'll search the boat. You'd be amazed at what they can find. My workplace was burgled once, they wore gloves so no fingerprints, but they got shoe prints off carpet tiles that were invisible to the eye!

Gosh! I hope you’re right…..

I felt very similar after i was sexually assaulted, I thought "well what can anybody do, how can anybody understand?" and I just had no head space or energy left. However, after a few weeks I got in touch with the worker who had emailed me and she was wonderful, did everything at my pace, always called me back if I phoned and she was busy, supported before, during and after the court case and was always there for me. A lot of things went very wrong with my case which added to the distress and my support worker was just amazing, not just because of her invaluable knowledge of the whole "report to court" process but because she was an all round brilliant person. Sending you a virtual hug

Well done. You are so brave. As for the 'friend' who's blocked you I don't think they ever were a proper friend. Hugs and solidarity with you.

May you find peace.

This is so awful to read, and I'm sorry that this has happened to you!
You have been so brave! And if they can catch him and lock this bastard away stopping him from doing this to anyone else it's worth it!
Please stay strong and hope you're getting all the support you need.

I feel like I’m spiralling. I went out and drank too much tonight. Like self destruct. I need to pull myself together. For my DDs if nothing else.

Something horrible has happened to you, of course you are spiralling. What you are feeling is normal given the abuse you had forced on you.

My advice: be kind to yourself and your feelings. Stop drinking because alcohol isn’t going to help you feel better and you don’t want to start relying on alcohol to cover up emotions.

Please contact your GP for urgent mental health help and reach out to the resources suggested to you.

You won’t feel this horrible forever but in the meantime be gentle to yourself.

Please contact your GP for urgent mental health help and reach out to the resources suggested to you.

This is important. Really, take all the help you can get.

It isn't about pulling yourself together - you have been through a terrible thing and are now going to go through all of the feelings as you process it.

I would recommend speaking to your GP, but there are also so so many people/charities/organisations that are waiting to hear from, and help, people who have been through something like this. You have been extraordinarily brave this week, so there is probably an adrenaline crash as well. All of your feelings are valid and natural. Alcohol won't help, but you already know that, so just one foot in front of the other is best to focus on here.

You have so much to live for and the world needs your courage. Lean on those closest to you and let yourself recover. One step at a time. You will get there. X

Love the bracelet 🩷

Baby steps… post here whenever you need to. Lots of supportive women, sadly some who have been through the same thing.

We’re here with you.

You’ve been through a horrific ordeal and then had to relive it with the police. You’re strong and brave.

Have you asked your company if they have any counselling service (through EAP or medical insurance)?

Hope you’re doing OK @NotSureICanDoIt

Really hope you’re ok. If you feel up to coming back, you might feel it helps with having a bit of support again. Even if you don’t want to say much 💐

If you feel up to it come back and chat to us, no pressure just like minded women who look out for each other xx