Husband's bad mood on holiday has made the whole trip miserable

[TheLizardQueen]

Holiday ruined 😡 Arrived in the Lake District on Friday. All going well until yesterday we went to explore. DH moaned and rolled his eyes all day making it not a nice experience. Same again today when we went out. Moaned at DD because there were shops she wanted to visit. Said he was going to wait in the car for us. Didn’t come into any shops and instead waited outside in a mood. Went for dinner as a treat. He said his meal was horrible (ours was great) complained about the table next to us talking too loud. Complained all the way home because DD sat in the front and played her music, which I don’t mind. DD can’t sit in the back due to windy roads and travel sickness. Then he told her she was making it all up because she wanted to sit in the front seat. I’m the driver btw, DH doesn’t drive. She was mad that he said she lies about having travel sickness. Then he told her to not talk to her for the rest of the holiday. She’s in her room alone. You can cut the atmosphere with a knife. Worst thing is we’re here with his parents (who I love) but his mum is taking his side in all this. Me and DD just want to go home. We’re walking on egg shells. I can’t even look at him, he thinks he’s done nothing wrong. Seriously thinking about my future now 😞 Been together 23 years. DD is 19 and still (usually) loves coming on holiday with us. I’m so sad 😞

There was a similar thread not long ago. Useless sofa bound, negative husband. The OP updated to say she and DC had left him and she was much happier.

My dad is like this and my mum is a version of you. Only later in life did I realise this is not normal and moreover, not acceptable. Years of having to physically relax my own body around them because of the awful atmosphere later, I simply don’t spend much time with them any more. And can’t respect that mum wakes up every day and chooses that life.

I havevread everything he sounds like a pointless joysucking lazy cock lodger to me divorce him downsize get a dog and a rabbit sorted.

Put him over your knee and slap his arse. Then send him to his cot with no supper.

What an obnoxious arrogant crybaby he is.

Dump him.

I think you need to discuss a divorce when you get home.

Not going to happen. For some unfathomable reason @TheLizardQueen will crack on doing everything with a grimace on her face, driving him everywhere, paying for everything and a the whole hating him. The only outlet will be starting threads about how much she hates him

When you go out for a family meal… he pays for his meal and you pay for you and DD?

And that's so sad :( we only have one life...!!

Jesus, so what are you and your DD actually getting out of this “family life”.. walking on eggshells and your poor daughter being raised around a man who doesn’t want to spend time with either of you, and when he does he’s vile. Oh and to top it off, a MIL who enables his vile behaviour. Wow.

Yep! My best friend and one of my cousins could have written this. They despise their parents, their father for being so vile, but also their mother for accepting it all and allowing it. I hope the daughter can move out asap and relive some of her childhood before it ends.

I diagnose Grumpy Old Man Syndrome. Sadly I don’t know of a cure. It eats away at relationships, and ultimately you have to ask yourself do the good times outweigh the bad, or vice versa.

The gift of martyrdom

that is the only conceivable reason why @TheLizardQueen carries on with this

This doesn't sound like a happy home would you guys try marriage counseling OP?

The mortgage is due to be paid off in 5 years, then I would be making my exit strategy and getting my ducks in a row if I were you....
🦆🦆🦆 @TheLizardQueen

Your husband doesn't want to go out, prefers to sit on his arse at home. When he does go out, he behaves like he's being forced at gunpoint, and throws a massive hissy fits throughout the day.

Unless there's some underlying issue, like social anxiety behind his behaviour, then it's extremely childish and rather pathetic for a grown man.

He doesn't pull his weight at home, doesn't want to learn to drive and works part-time for no real reason, than it suits him.

A boring, lazy man-child, is what you have. Unfortunately, once your daughter leaves home, this miserable bugger is who you will be stuck with. What a depressing thought.

I think you need to think about what you want for the future. You only get one crack at life, don't waste it on a man who doesn't deserve you.

How was the rest of your holiday, OP?

It was okay. I ignored him for most of it. I’ve since told him I was fuming at the way he reacted. He did apologise to me and DD but I’m getting my ducks in a row. I can’t keep living like this, he’s such a man child and I’m fed up being being his mother. Thanks for checking in x

Good luck with herding your ducks...

🦆🦆🦆

Thanks for your update.
I will never forget a thread by Gingerloaf. Her husband did the dirty but she rose above it and wrote a highly entertaining thread.
Different circumstances but her attitude was so inspiring and her humour lifted me.
Perhaps it can do the same for you 💐

The snippets advice given throughout are also particularly interesting/useful

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5136910-blindsided-by-h?page=1

I think of Gingerloaf often and how she's getting on.

Good for you OP. I hope by this time next year you're rid of him. And if he ever wants to try and force DD into the back with her travel sickness, tell him if he wants to sit in the front so badly he should've passed his driving test. I just would be such a sarky bastard with him me OP. I can't stand people like him. Wishing you well. Hope you get the happy ending you deserve 💜💐💐

I agree that thread was inspiring. I hope she's having the best life.

firstly, this behaviour is not ok, I would address it with him- if he is moody at home this either needs to change or I would reconsider

however, I would add that it does sound actually like he has anxiety / is overwhelmed and is acting out. He may be really struggling and I would try to find out why- 19 years together is worth trying to fix / help him

Why is it the OP (woman’s) job to fix or help her husband? He can do those things himself. I have ASD traits (diagnosed before anyone asks) and ADHD and get overwhelmed etc. guess what I find solutions myself as I am an adult. I don’t expect someone else to parent me.

U can.have a quiet peaceful life OP without him. Will u be ok financially? Will.it come as a shock.if u expressed all your annoyance? U should not have to be a peacemaker.