Husband's bad mood on holiday has made the whole trip miserable

[TheLizardQueen]

Holiday ruined 😡 Arrived in the Lake District on Friday. All going well until yesterday we went to explore. DH moaned and rolled his eyes all day making it not a nice experience. Same again today when we went out. Moaned at DD because there were shops she wanted to visit. Said he was going to wait in the car for us. Didn’t come into any shops and instead waited outside in a mood. Went for dinner as a treat. He said his meal was horrible (ours was great) complained about the table next to us talking too loud. Complained all the way home because DD sat in the front and played her music, which I don’t mind. DD can’t sit in the back due to windy roads and travel sickness. Then he told her she was making it all up because she wanted to sit in the front seat. I’m the driver btw, DH doesn’t drive. She was mad that he said she lies about having travel sickness. Then he told her to not talk to her for the rest of the holiday. She’s in her room alone. You can cut the atmosphere with a knife. Worst thing is we’re here with his parents (who I love) but his mum is taking his side in all this. Me and DD just want to go home. We’re walking on egg shells. I can’t even look at him, he thinks he’s done nothing wrong. Seriously thinking about my future now 😞 Been together 23 years. DD is 19 and still (usually) loves coming on holiday with us. I’m so sad 😞

What's he been like on previous holidays?

I wouldn’t stand for this.
Just go out with your daughter.
Why does he not come out normally?
I would be reconsidering this relationship.

@Heretohelp1111 nope he’s just lazy and miserable. He doesn’t want to do anything that’s an effort. For example a few weeks ago he said he’d go to the cinema with her because I didn’t fancy seeing the movie. Guess what, they argued again and I went instead. The movie was actually great so it was his loss!

@2dogsandabudgie not as bad as this, but we had an elderly dog so he used the excuse to stay home with the dog so didn’t bother coming.

He can stay with his parents or get a bus/train and go off and be miserable solo. Why is he like this? If he wanted to stay at home then he should have.

Your poor DD. Being subjected to this. Day in. Day out.

Is your DD his as well?

23 years married and youve put up with this? He sounds like a drain on your lives. Are you going to put up with this for another 20+ years because if he won't change it's going to a long sentence

Yea she is. He didn’t used to be like this. She adores her dad too, it’s a shame

It doesn't seem much of a marriage to be honest. Do you and your husband ever go anywhere just the two of you, because when your daughter leaves home it sounds as though you will be very lonely.

Well if he’s usually like this at home it can’t be a surprise he’s like this on holiday too.
Id just leave him at home and take your daughter out. You can drive. He can’t. Sucks to be him. If his parents are nice I’d take them too and he can stay on his own

@2dogsandabudgie no, never. We used to. Then our dog got old and he used the excuse to stay home with the dog. Nothing changed when the dog died. You’re right, once she moves out there’s nothing left between us. He’s so miserable 🙁

In that case I won’t hesitate to encourage you to really consider what this man brings to your life and if this is how you see yourself living for the next however many decades.

He’s behaving like a child so leave him with his Mummy and Daddy and either go home with your DD or book in somewhere else and enjoy the rest of your holiday without the grumpy bugger and reevaluate your future with him.

Have you said to him that does he realise that he has come our with you but refused to join in any activities, found fault of complained about multiple things and accused your daughter of lying and then been really rude to her for no reason, that he is like this often, he ruins every day out and you can't take it any more and he either makes an effort to be positive and polite (in general, obviously everyone has a bad day or bad meal etc sometimes) or you will eventually leave him because you can't take every outing for the rest of your life being ruined by his negativity and moodiness

What’s the point of him?

You might have been sanded down to accept this from him but surely now he is doing it to your daughter, you can see the ‘wrongness’ of it.

What is the point of him in your life?

Why do some men do this at holidays and Christmas etc? Some of them are just so self centred. I feel like (most) women will put a positive face on things for the sake of everyone else, even if they are having the best time but so many men just sulk and spoil things for everyone else if they aren't the centre of attention. No wonder you never want to go anywhere with him. Why does he not drive? Choice or particular reason e.g. medical?

Urgh I couldn't live with a joy sucker. Do you do anything fun together? Life is short. He is likely to get worse.

Your daughter will have a very messed benchmark for marriage if your crack on with this for another two decades

He sounds a horrible, selfish manchild - you are right to have a day out with your daughter tomorrow and if he continues to sulk I would take her out everyday of your holiday. Don’t cave in either - stay strong!
His Mum sounds a nightmare too - why should she side with him when he’s behaving so badly?? No doubt she’s made him the manchild he is!
Eventually your daughter will stop adoring him and see him for what he is - I’m sure he’ll regret his actions when she avoids him at all costs.

So your daughter is going to have to carry on living like this until she gets her own place?

Has she ever had a boyfriend / girlfriend?

How long has he been like this? She adores him despite him having like this??

This!
Start planning a happier life!

@Famesick it sounds awful when you put it like that. Normally at home they get on well but they do butt heads and I’m always the peacemaker. She hasn’t been in a relationship, she doesn’t want one. But she has plenty of friends and a great social life. I think the time has come for me to call it quits. I keep thinking about how peaceful my own place would be. I can’t even change the decor in our home because he never likes what I suggest. Our spare room is full of his “stuff” and he refuses to remove it to give us more space! Good god I sound pathetic, I’m really not. I just want a quiet life!

No @TheLizardQueen

Your very own OP “makes it sound awful”

So sorry Lizard what is the matter with people! I can’t stand whingers and moaners. Tell him to grow up or fuck off.