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Original poster

Husband's bad mood on holiday has made the whole trip miserable

492 replies

TheLizardQueen · 18/08/2026 20:51

Holiday ruined 😡 Arrived in the Lake District on Friday. All going well until yesterday we went to explore. DH moaned and rolled his eyes all day making it not a nice experience. Same again today when we went out. Moaned at DD because there were shops she wanted to visit. Said he was going to wait in the car for us. Didn’t come into any shops and instead waited outside in a mood. Went for dinner as a treat. He said his meal was horrible (ours was great) complained about the table next to us talking too loud. Complained all the way home because DD sat in the front and played her music, which I don’t mind. DD can’t sit in the back due to windy roads and travel sickness. Then he told her she was making it all up because she wanted to sit in the front seat. I’m the driver btw, DH doesn’t drive. She was mad that he said she lies about having travel sickness. Then he told her to not talk to her for the rest of the holiday. She’s in her room alone. You can cut the atmosphere with a knife. Worst thing is we’re here with his parents (who I love) but his mum is taking his side in all this. Me and DD just want to go home. We’re walking on egg shells. I can’t even look at him, he thinks he’s done nothing wrong. Seriously thinking about my future now 😞 Been together 23 years. DD is 19 and still (usually) loves coming on holiday with us. I’m so sad 😞

OP posts:
Cherry85 · 19/08/2026 19:54

@TheLizardQueen go up to the top of this thread and filter so you only see your messages. Read them one after the other with no other comments. I think its pretty clear where your head is at and you probably just need to take action whether big big or small. I'm only halfway through and you have said repeatedly he is always like this and miserable, that he treats dd like this regularly that you sleep in seperate rooms, that he never comes out to do anything together with you.

Now maybe write a list of the positives and see what you come up with? If not many, id say one way or another your relationship needs a wee overhaul xx

dementedmummy · 19/08/2026 19:56

TheLizardQueen · 19/08/2026 11:26

I’m talking about our holiday home. We own a modest 3 bedroom house back home. Me and his parents went halves. I have lots of spending money because I saved. I am
comfortable but have no savings because I pay for everything. He doesn’t have to worry about Christmas or birthdays or days out because I save for them all. I do all of the housework shopping etc at home. He plays his PlayStation or watches sport. He’s not made to be the 3rd wheel at all. It’s like this because he never wants to do anything or go anywhere.

Show quote history

This is your out. He gets the half share of the holiday home and he can live there and be his parents problem and you can walk with the 3 bed home - yes you will have the mortgage but both of you are housed. It also has the bonus of him being in the back of beyond since it sounds like he doesn't like people. Also go on strike. Do your own laundry. Make your own tea. And tell him what a pathetic piece of shit he is being moaning about stuff he hasn't got up off his backside to pay for and that you signed on for a husband not to become a sugar mama. Good luck OP x

LeftieRightsHoarder · 19/08/2026 19:59

GrumpyPanda · 18/08/2026 22:14

This is the sunk cost fallacy. The longer you wait it out the more expensive it will get for you.

Show quote history

This, 100 times over. You can’t change the past, but the future is up to you. Please don’t spend it in gloom with a selfish joy-killer. It will get worse when DD moves out.

And speaking as someone older, the longer you leave it the harder it will be to divorce, sell your house, set up a new home etc. Do it while you’re still fit and energetic!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems
Beccahm · 19/08/2026 19:59

TheLizardQueen · 18/08/2026 20:51

Holiday ruined 😡 Arrived in the Lake District on Friday. All going well until yesterday we went to explore. DH moaned and rolled his eyes all day making it not a nice experience. Same again today when we went out. Moaned at DD because there were shops she wanted to visit. Said he was going to wait in the car for us. Didn’t come into any shops and instead waited outside in a mood. Went for dinner as a treat. He said his meal was horrible (ours was great) complained about the table next to us talking too loud. Complained all the way home because DD sat in the front and played her music, which I don’t mind. DD can’t sit in the back due to windy roads and travel sickness. Then he told her she was making it all up because she wanted to sit in the front seat. I’m the driver btw, DH doesn’t drive. She was mad that he said she lies about having travel sickness. Then he told her to not talk to her for the rest of the holiday. She’s in her room alone. You can cut the atmosphere with a knife. Worst thing is we’re here with his parents (who I love) but his mum is taking his side in all this. Me and DD just want to go home. We’re walking on egg shells. I can’t even look at him, he thinks he’s done nothing wrong. Seriously thinking about my future now 😞 Been together 23 years. DD is 19 and still (usually) loves coming on holiday with us. I’m so sad 😞

I'm so sorry, OP. I would definitely be packing up with DD and going home. Even if that meant taking the family car. Sod him, leave him stranded.

saskia80 · 19/08/2026 20:02

TheLizardQueen · 18/08/2026 20:57

He doesn’t act like this at home mostly because he never comes out anywhere with us. It’s always just me a DD

Sounds like you have little to lose by doing this alone full stop...
I may be wrong but you're describing a Mummy's boy who reverts back to childhood when around Mummy. And she will relish the opportunity to be number one and feel needed by backing his little tantrums. Let her go back to Mummy full time and she can deal with him. If you're still there go out on your own, no responses given if they ask what you're doing and have quality time with DD

LatteLady · 19/08/2026 20:07

When I first read this, this mornin, I wanted to tell you to pack his case and drop him at the nearest station so he can go home and stop ruining your break... and I think I would still give you the same advice. You do not need to tolerate this appalling behaviour, you deserve better and frankly he need to shape up or ship out!

helenatroy · 19/08/2026 20:33

Don’t stand for it. Mark his card and take no shit. There’s no excuse for bad behaviour. Personally, I’m sick of making excuses for people who don’t give a second thought to how their behaviour affects others. Phew — that’s off my chest! 😂
Seriously though, life is too short. Give him hell. Sounds like he needs it! xx

Labloverr · 19/08/2026 20:34

What is it with all these DH’s ruining holidays on here. YANBU!

Dumbledore167 · 19/08/2026 20:36

Would he go full time again if you asked him to? Does he not feel embarrassed he’s skint due to working part time for no particular reason?

What will he say if/when you tell him you’re divorcing?

Aluna · 19/08/2026 20:42

TheLizardQueen · 19/08/2026 11:26

I’m talking about our holiday home. We own a modest 3 bedroom house back home. Me and his parents went halves. I have lots of spending money because I saved. I am
comfortable but have no savings because I pay for everything. He doesn’t have to worry about Christmas or birthdays or days out because I save for them all. I do all of the housework shopping etc at home. He plays his PlayStation or watches sport. He’s not made to be the 3rd wheel at all. It’s like this because he never wants to do anything or go anywhere.

Show quote history

Reminds me of an exchange from the Royle Family talking about a friend:

“She can’t drive she’s got a bone disease”.
^^
”Yeah bone bloody idleness”.

Idontcareboutthestateofmyhair · 19/08/2026 20:49

You and your dd should leave him there. Drive somewhere else for a few nights. Fk him. Everyday grumpiness when stress is high is forgivable but fk holidaying with it.

dibly · 19/08/2026 21:05

TheLizardQueen · 19/08/2026 19:02

@HollyhocksandPeons she likes to come with us. She always sits downstairs with us too. I like her company. So while she wants to come why would I not welcome her? She’s been away on short breaks with her friends but she’s always glad to be back home. It’s just the way she is. She’ll fly the nest soon enough.

Who wouldn’t want a joyful DD with them when their DH is such a miserable arse? Grab your fun where you can OP.

ThreadGuardDog · 19/08/2026 21:12

2dogsandabudgie · 18/08/2026 21:03

I can see some of this from your husband's point of view. Could your daughter take a travel sickness tablet. It sounds like you and your daughter are very close so maybe he feels left out.

What would he like to do on the holiday? Could he have dropped you and your daughter off to look round the shops whilst he did something else and then pick you up later.

I do think he's out of order to say to your daughter not to speak to him for the rest of the holiday but you need to have a discussion so that you all enjoy this holiday.

He doesn’t drive. So if OP’s doing the driving that means he’s sitting in the back, and I think that’s the problem. He sounds a miserable git.

CookieWarbler · 19/08/2026 21:16

OP, I mean this kindly but please raise your bar. If not for you, for your daughter. She looks to you and your husband for how a relationship should work - are you comfortable modelling such an unbalanced and frankly depressing relationship? How would you feel if this was her in your relationship?
Your husband treats you as a meal ticket, a maid and a chauffeur!
He's taking you for a mug and you've let him. Please stop. You deserve so much better.

ThreadGuardDog · 19/08/2026 21:16

dementedmummy · 19/08/2026 19:56

This is your out. He gets the half share of the holiday home and he can live there and be his parents problem and you can walk with the 3 bed home - yes you will have the mortgage but both of you are housed. It also has the bonus of him being in the back of beyond since it sounds like he doesn't like people. Also go on strike. Do your own laundry. Make your own tea. And tell him what a pathetic piece of shit he is being moaning about stuff he hasn't got up off his backside to pay for and that you signed on for a husband not to become a sugar mama. Good luck OP x

Show quote history

I may be wrong but I don’t think OP owns the holiday home.

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 19/08/2026 21:29

@TheLizardQueen

This has got worse with each update!

Oh dear…. 🦆 🦆 🦆 time it seems.

Sorry OP. It doesn’t sound like future you will have many regrets!

Desmonda · 19/08/2026 21:36

Sounds just like my ex… who I recently left after 30 plus years of marriage. Grumpy with me. Grumpy with adult children. Unkind. Moaned about lots of things and never apologised for any wrongdoing. I decided I’d rather be alone, enjoy the peace and quiet and things be tight financially, rather than a life full of conflict and a good standard of living. It’s been 6 months now and I have no regrets.

sandyrose · 19/08/2026 21:36

He sounds absolutely dreadful and you deserve so much better. Have you pulled him up on the fact that he hasn’t kept his side of the bargain re going part time? Has he no self respect? He can’t even get himself to work unless YOU drive him! He sounds very child-like.

riceuten · 19/08/2026 21:38

This is teenage male behaviour - I have no idea what has brought it on, but I would have confronted him on day one of this, and told him to shape up or ship out

momtoboys · 19/08/2026 21:39

When you get home tell him this is the last holiday that you will subsidize for him. His behavior makes a holiday a waste of money. Tell his parents that you and your DD are going on holiday alone next year and is they want to treat their son to a getaway they are welcome to but you will no longer be doing it.

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · 19/08/2026 21:42

If your friend was telling you this Op what would you say to her. In all your updates you haven mentioned anything he’s bringing positively to your life. It sounds like dealing with a useless 15 yr old lad. You give him pocket money to take dd out for day. He plays a PlayStation..
You sound in a good position financially only a few years left on mortgage. Have a look what’s available in your price range.

Ljzjta · 19/08/2026 21:42

I have a man child as a partner like this. Like you, I jsut go out alone with my children and he stays at home usually! When he does go out, he is miserable and his mood ruins it all!

If I were you, I’d be tempted to drive home with your daughter and leave your husband to get home with his parents.

catlover123456789 · 19/08/2026 21:43

Just go home. Leave him there with his parents. They might as well get used to him being around as he'll be living with them very soon! (P.s. get a lawyer)

Sess249 · 19/08/2026 21:43

Sounds like you are ready to leave! I hope you tell your daughter that Xmas, birthdays, extras ect are off right now as you are saving to split up. Tell your partner he needs to go full time again or look for an extra job as you can’t afford the wifi bill next month so no PlayStation.

Tell your in laws the house needs extra work and you aren’t doing anything this year/ if they want Xmas they will need to organise it themselves and then save for a divorce! Get a great lawyer and hopefully you come out and are able to land on your feet! Even if you end up in a small flat it will be so nice not having to deal with someone else’s bad moods, lack of consideration and when you get home from work the flat will still be cozy and tidy and nice and not wrecked by a man child

busymomtoone · 19/08/2026 21:55

TheLizardQueen · 18/08/2026 21:14

@2dogsandabudgie he doesn’t drive. He chose to come. And kept saying he wish he hadn’t. I wish he hadn’t too. I’m going to go out tomorrow and leave him with his folks. He very rarely goes anywhere with us and when he does he just moans his face off. It’s better when he doesn’t come.

I’m not sure why you stay with him if he’s “ always like that”?! It doesn’t sound much of a partnership- and for him to say your daughter is lying about sickness AND not to talk for the rest of the holiday is downright rude and abusive. I would ask what’s going on and why is he being like this - and failing any ( can’t actually think of one other than a sudden terminal diagnosis) decent excuse, get out of there and enjoy the holiday with your daughter.