'My ADHD brain'

[ForDucksSake]

I feel like I am hearing/reading this constantly now. It feels like the new anxiety. Why are people seemingly self-diagnosing themselves with ADHD now?

I work with children with autism and ADHD, so I know a fair bit about this disorder. It can be really difficult to manage for some people and it pisses me off that people I have known for years have suddenly decided that they have it because they did a fucking online quiz. It minimises the issues that some people who have ADHD really have.

A friend, who I have known for years announced last week that her 'ADHD brain' is the reason she forgets her purse every time we meet for lunch. When asked about this sudden diagnosis, she said that she had done a quiz and 'it all makes sense now'. I keep this online too, is it just me noticing this?

Just on this, one of the school mums refers to her ADHD for anything she does that is rude or late. She excuses herself by saying oh sorry it’s just my ADHD. I have no idea if she has a diagnosis but I just find it strange, as I have adhd and never say it’s just my adhd whenever I mess up. I used to when I was younger her say oh I am just having a blond moment and now I know that was my adhd that never crossed my mind when I was younger. I refrain from saying either of those phases nowadays. Unsure how having adhd excuses so many things!

To be fair, having executive function deficits impacts almost everything about daily living. And she is apologising - and trying to explain. Some people can't overcome all their deficits or mask enough that they're all always hidden.

I agree but I just apologise, not sure tagging adhd onto every apology is neccessary. Everyone makes mistakes and that’s okay. Thing is I am unsure if she actually has adhd or it’s just an excuse

Yep!

I suppose for me the issue is related to how often it happens and whether it's likely I'll be able to correct it. If it's something that I've tried and failed to correct for years and that I know is more or less guaranteed to happen again I will explain that it's my ADHD to try and let them know that it's beyond my control. Frustratingly, from threads like these though it does seem that a lot of people genuinely think these things can always be controlled with a bit more effort and some better strategies. Not in my experience, at least not with all symptoms - just the milder ones.

I don’t know I think some people who are undiagnosed use it as an excuse 🤨 which does belittle people who actually have the diagnosis and the struggles that come with it.

This has been a long time escape for many that they blame their behaviors for their mental state which actually does not justifies but this is that covert state which cannot be observed so can't really say anything on it, but this is disrespecting to those who actually are going through mental issues.

There a kind of backwards culture whereby people start with the condition, then fit their traits and behaviour to it, chasing the validation of a diagnoses of their 'chosen' condition.
With anything else, people start with their symptoms and if they are debilitating go to a doctor who then diagnoses them.
If your friend is suffering symptoms that have a significant impact on her ability to live her life, she needs to go and describe them to her GP. Because she could have anything, from nothing at all to alzheimers.

I find that most people who eventually realised they have ADHD had been doing this for years (ie going to the doctor and endlessly describing their symptoms) only to repeatedly be told they had anxiety, depression, nothing wrong with them etc or just being fobbed off/disbelieved and not taken seriously. The "backwards culture" is that people eventually realise what they have from the internet because doctors have failed them over and over and over again.

In my case, ‘a rather unusual presentation’ of temporal lobe epilepsy many years ago, which I know not to be true. I’ve been on medication for anxiety at various times despite not really being an anxious person at all generally. Since realising what it probably was all along I have been able to self manage better and feel better all round.

GPs cannot diagnose adhd and if you’re not going to get an assessment for 10 years it’s hard to imagine what is even the point? I know it isn’t dementia because I’ve experienced it my whole life. When I first described symptoms to my Gp many years ago they sent me for an MRI so I do agree people should tell their GPs in case there is something else going on.

And oh my goodness yes - losing stuff! It’s constant! Keys, phone, pen, address book, wallet etc etc. DF is exactly the same & it’s not just an age thing as he’s always been like it.

me i know im strange i just dont know why, but id not rely on a quiz and i still dont trust chatgpt analysis of me and my personality and thinking abilities

Yanbu.

Every single thread on here now is preface by 'I may be autistic/ADHD/on the spectrum'

No, Doreen, you're just a bit forgetful sometimes

YANBU. It’s a way of not having to take responsibility for forgetting her purse. It’s an excuse.

I think you’ve been very clear and I agree.

I and my children and both my sisters are ADHD (some with autism). We are ALL diagnosed and as a result have access to coaching, counselling and medication if needed/wanted. We’ve all struggled in at least one social context - work, relationships, school - and the insight we have now is life changing. Insight into why we have struggled, created huge stress at school or work due to anxiety induced panicking over big projects and looming deadlines, why that made it difficult to work in teams/with others, by being over talkative and oversharing with colleagues or just running our mouths off because the filter was set to off, emotional dysregulation/lack of resilience, interrupting others/ social issues recognising signals regarding turn-taking or dominating conversations, struggling to maintain impetus and competence in the workplace once we’ve mastered the job and boredom has set in, inability to sleep at night (what time is it right now?) … I could go on.

Understanding that it was ADHD, having access to mentoring, being coached in strategies to improve interpersonal skills and develop consistent work practices are life changing. We don’t choose to be ADHD/AuDHD because we find it sexy or because it makes us interesting. We seek diagnosis because we need help. So self-diagnosis and trendy labels such as ‘neurospicy’ actually trigger my ire.

Awareness is great - if a test online suggests you may be ADHD and you have had significant issues somewhere in your life - go and seek a proper diagnosis. Until then, please pipe down.

I was wondering the other day if there is anything I can do to help myself if I haven’t had a diagnosis & am therefore not medicated. How do I go about possibly getting the support you mention?

You can follow the ‘right to choose’ pathway to seek an assessment via the NHS, or there are private clinics that are approved by the NHS where you can pay and once stabilised on medication be transferred to shared care with your GP so that they can prescribe your medication.

Once diagnosed there are lots of resources on the various websites and via GP referrals for counselling, local support groups that run trainings in symptom management and can direct you to ADHD/ND coaches and mentoring services.

There is more information on the ADHDUK website, link attached.

https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/right-to-choose-learning-about-nhs-right-to-choose/

Who paid for the lunch? That’s what matters . If you did then it’s an excuse as she can always use Apple Pay

It is a result of a greater awareness. What you prefer only the true serious cases who have the right parents, right teachers and right doctors have the right to call themselves adhd sufferers?

Or, is it better that people like me who are higher functioning realise that they are not "useless" / "dopey" or "pathetic"?

I can't afford a diagnosis and I have muddled my way to a decent job and life-style at the age of 50. I am grateful for greater awareness. If someone (maybe?) uses the term inappropriately, I don't care.

It’s doing my head in @ForDucksSake

The world and his wife seemingly have ADHD now, and it’s the need to announce it at all times that’s so tedious

including things like : My ADHD brain is making my anxious about [insert thing that would make anyone anxious]

We don’t need to hear about it

Self-awareness is valuable, but an online quiz is not the same as a professional assessment. Casual self-diagnosis can unintentionally minimise the very real challenges faced by people living with ADHD.

I shall have to try the purse thing. I have ADHD but always seem to end up paying. Ooops sorry for the announcement hadn't read the whole thread 😂

Where are all these people with ADHD? I haven’t met a single one ever and the only people who seem to have it are mumsnetters.

It’s all over my Twitter 🙈

I think that the self identification of ADHD and Autism has compounded things for those of us with formal diagnosis. What I don't get is the pile on from people who have decided that it is not ok for people to talk about neurodiversity at all. I think it has become acceptable to stigmatise ADHD of late and that it hard to hear for those of who are at the more severe end.

We don't do that with other mental health conditions as much, however I do get that ADHD seems to have become a desirable label in some circles. God knows why as I find that I have days when I can barely function and it caused massive problems with learning as I grew up. Getting a late diagnosis was both a relief and gave me access to some resources. It certainly shouldn't be used flippantly or as an excuse.

As I have said on other threads I rarely mention it on a day to day basis in RL, so that might be why people on here haven't met lots of people with ADHD. Some of us tend to stick to our own tribes and speak to people who will actually be supportive.