'My ADHD brain'

[ForDucksSake]

I feel like I am hearing/reading this constantly now. It feels like the new anxiety. Why are people seemingly self-diagnosing themselves with ADHD now?

I work with children with autism and ADHD, so I know a fair bit about this disorder. It can be really difficult to manage for some people and it pisses me off that people I have known for years have suddenly decided that they have it because they did a fucking online quiz. It minimises the issues that some people who have ADHD really have.

A friend, who I have known for years announced last week that her 'ADHD brain' is the reason she forgets her purse every time we meet for lunch. When asked about this sudden diagnosis, she said that she had done a quiz and 'it all makes sense now'. I keep this online too, is it just me noticing this?

At least half of NHS GPs are currently not accepting shared care for RTC diagnoses.

Might be shaky, I don't know. But it was like pulling teeth just to get them to accept that we had a right to apply for RTC. They won't even test DC's blood pressure for his private (online) medication reviews.

Exactly. It is impossible to get past reception at our GP because they act as the filter for ADHD appointments. I called and went in, in person, 8 times before I was even given a weblink for RTC. And then I had to chase the GP 4 times about their documentation completion.

And after all that, we're still waiting 18 months later. Private appointment / diagnosis took a month. With a senior NHS consultant as part of her private practise. 99% ADHD (combined type) profile. DC's life has been transformed overnight with meds. But we are struggling to cope financially with the costs.

DS has had autism since 3pm.
Obviously he's had it since birth 13 years ago, but the diagnosis was today, completing a year of waiting and assessment under RTC which was considerably quicker than the 3-4 year waiting list locally. When his sibling was diagnosed in 2019 the local wait was 15m.
He's still the same person that he was this morning with the same difficulties and strengths. All that has changed is official recognition.

I suspect I have ADHD. No one was looking at bright, chatty, scatty girls in the 90s that showed great potential but struggled to put it all together and were weighed down by carrying all their books and equipment in order not to forget them, or missing finer details or going on well meaning tangents with flunked grades despite much enthisiastic effort. Now I know a lot more about ADHD presentation in girls/ women, I can see the patterns all the way through childhood and adulthood up to recently getting my first permanent job in my mid-40s, and the patterns through my mother, grand-mother and great-grandmother.

Will I get assessed? It's on my delayed decision procrastination list... I'm past my own education, in a job that plays to my strengths so I'm past the main benefits of formal recognition. I've certainly found that ADHD coping strategies work a hell of a lot better for me than standard advice that's always failed or missed the point.

Whether I am or not, most of my favourite people have ADHD, autism, or other ND conditions like dyspraxia and dyslexia; they're interesting, individual and forgiving of eachother's quirks and foibles.

Working in schools, the range of personalities hasn't changed in the 20+ years I've worked in them or since I was at school in the 80s & 90s (other than the inclusion threshold for access to mainstream). What has changed is recognition and support, and that leaves fewer young people muddling along and struggling at the threshold of just about coping. To be diagnosed you need a strong suspicion that there is something there worth assessing, so recognising and identifying has to precede that. For some adults, just recognising that possibility and how to adapt is enough.

That's what I was told a number of GPs in my area were like. I ended up having to change GPs because of my original surgery's complete refusal to even consider a shared care agreement despite them referring me for diagnosis in the first place. You may need to consider that - as a low level local government employee there was no way I could afford the cost of going private!

Did you mean to be so rude? 🤔

I'm TALKING about all the endless posts about this shit and hence the hundred of uneducated comments that usually bloody follow about how we are this and how we are that. Yes I did read it and people shouldn't diagnose themselves when they aren't sure.

But I'm mentioning the bigger problem on here, the endless troll like posts and comments that just make us constantly look bad or attribute awful behaviour to being like this.

To the point, people are now not taking us seriously and it's bloody damaging the uneducated comments that I constantly see by people who swear their undiagnosed boyfriend is ADHD who is acting like an entitled male or because they know one dickhead with ADHD, they are suddenly an expert so yeah I get annoyed with this constant bullshit. HTH.

Have you TRIED to get a diagnosis? Three years. Sorry that I’ve discovered I have ADHD without the support of a diagnosis and I’m finding ways to make it work with me.

Don’t bother trying to educate anyone on this. They don’t want to hear it.

The GP I saw to get the referral was very dismissive but deigned to make the referral anyway - this was to the local NHS ADHD service. They diagnosed me, so it’s a good thing I didn’t let the GP put me off.

However it’s been a mixed blessing. At work I’ve had 2 managers who see it as an indication that I can’t do my job properly and am not a proper person. The discrimination is real. It has been an eye opening experience.

It's not really troll posts making people think badly of people saying they have ADHD - it's those who publicly proclaim that they have ADHD (despite no diagnosis) at every opportunity and/or those who use a possible ADHD diagnosis as an excuse for poor behaviour/work performance which is not really attributable to ADHD.

I do have sympathy for people who do genuinely have ADHD and try their best to get on with their lives in spite of it. But it's the professionals who never struggled previously and suddenly declare that they have ADHD based on very little knowledge of the condition that gets irritating.

Yeah I am sure there are a lot of people who have it but don’t even know, they just think it’s normal and have adapted to it. They don’t need a diagnosis as they are coping but I understand how debilitating adhd can be and everyone is so different with it. People just don’t think and I let it go over my head and pray that it never gets that bad for them.

I do have ADHD, diagnosed by a NHS consultant psychiatrist. So does my adult DD. I am open about my diagnosis at work as I’m mid fifties and unlikely to apply for another job before retirement. I am happy to be a role model for younger people in the workplace that one can have ADHD and be highly successful and very competent. In fact I over compensate because I know my vulnerabilities so I’d never forget my purse or be late for a meeting - I have strategies. Major ODFO to your friend painting herself as ‘ditsy and useless ergo ADHD’. My boss, in a nod to being supportive , said “oh we’re all a bit ADHD” and I politely but crisply explained why that statement is so very wrong.

i have advised DD not to disclose at work as it is now seen as a synonym for - “ditsy and useless”.

My diagnosis means that I can ask for reasonable adjustments and these help me greatly without imposing on any one else. For example, if I tell jy PA that I am not to be disturbed, people know that there are no exceptions , no wheedling, as if I’m interrupted in a task that needs deep flow, i will find it v hard to return to it. My work output can’t be done by anyone else in the building so all, even those senior to me, treat this request with the respect it merits.. Win win, I get more done at work and my team benefit from my deeper focus.

Diagnosed person here. See also ‘everyone is a bit ADHD / Autistic’ 🤬

Took me one email to the drs and a 10 week wait. Not exactly hard. That was nhs. So free.

And do you understand that people have different experiences?

I was referred by my GP in 2023, had my assessment and subsequent diagnoses at the start of 2025, and began titrating on medication at the start of this year. It was hard.

LOL. Not where I live. You have to get a referral from the GP first. Mine wants me to have counselling - 12 months waiting list - and consider ADs, before she'll even talk to me about it.

If I look back at my life all the way to childhood it's blindingly obvious. My school reports make it really clear, but in those days, it wasn't acted on, so I've struggled all my life and continue to do so.

When was that? There's been a massive increase in the waiting lists over the last 5-6 years. My diagnosis took around that long, but was before the hike in waiting times.

The other factor is that it's one thing to get the diagnosis, but then there's the wait for titration if you go down the medication route - that's the longest part sometimes.

I got my diagnosis in April 2026. I started the process in February.

My only formal diagnosis is OCD. Many people have the misapprehension that that refers to being really neat and tidy or having to do constant handwashing. The reality for me is very different but bloody awful.

I finally paid to see a therapist myself when I was in my late 30s and my life had become utterly miserable. The diagnosis was the first step to sorting things out.

I'm in my 60s now and a HCP has suggested that I'm on the spectrum and have ADHD. There's no point in a formal diagnosis at my age, but it does help me make a bit more sense of me - I'll not go into it all now, but people talk about 'masking' and I can relate to that: I was doing that before I even knew what it was. I learned to fake eye contact at an early age in order to fend off accusations of being 'rude'.

I do have younger relatives with formal diagnoses and it makes sense of the 'eccentric' great uncles who are no longer with us.

One used to get overwhelmed and retreat to his 'hut' - actually a wee cottage with a working fireplace where his Shetland pony would sit in front of the fire.

Another two lived together all their days, with their sister coming into help them out. They could only cope around immediate family.

Then there was my mother...

But yes - I see online ND groups where people use being ND as an excuse for being mean to other people or not wanting to do the hard or boring stuff in life. As I've said elsewhere, if we're high functioning enough to cope with giving our thoughts online, then we're certainly not completely incapable.

As a former secondary school teacher, I worked with kids with ASD and/or ADHD and depending on the degree of ND, their lives are often infinitely more difficult than mine.

Two young men in my family were diagnosed with dyslexia when they were at school. At uni, they were told that they needed to go through a more formal process. (I'm not quite sure what happened at school level.)

They both came out of the process with the dyslexia confirmed plus a diagnosis of ADHD. One was asked how on earth he'd coped with his A levels: "Well, I worked really hard."

Both boys now have their degrees. The boy who answered that he'd worked really hard got a first.

You should ask your managers to refer you to Occupational Health. They can advise on reasonable adjustments in the workplace for ADHD. Your workplace might also have specialised support via Occupational Health for those with neurodevelopmental conditions.

That does seem quite quick for the present day, though possible in some areas with RtC. So very dependant on your local health authority and how many assessments they are willing to fund each year.

Have a look over this page from ADHD UK who are recognised as the best resource for ADHD in the UK, some of the figures are shocking & show it's very much a postcode lottery.

I was diagnosed as a child. I have nothing but compassion for those struggling with adhd, dx or otherwise.
And nothing but contempt for those trying to pass off shit behaviour/ dementia type symptoms as a symptom of adhd.
We have an inability to filter, not a form of Alzheimer’s.
I also have some autistic traits, but I’m aware enough to realise that my traits would never reach the bar for dx, and I wouldn’t dream of minimising the struggles for those whom do.
Nor would I excuse things that are entirely my personality/ fault by suggesting I have an armchair dx of autism and everyone else just needs to accommodate it.
So I’d appreciate it if people didn’t do the same about adhd and their imaginary symptoms.

As someone, who rather uniquely, got diagnosed with ADHD over 30 years ago. Yes, it is exhausting the amount of people who think it’s a kooky quirk. I rarely mention I have it because there was no accommodations or support years ago and I learned how to make accommodations myself. I’m glad I did. I hear a lot of people claiming they cannot do some ridiculous stuff because of their ADHD. Frankly, you can do anything with ADHD if you make the right accommodations for yourself and like anyone, you will avoid some things or find alternatives. I also see people behaving horrendously towards others blaming their ADHD and that is particularly offensive.

Fairly confident that I have ADHD but undiagnosed. However undiagnosed doesn't mean someone doesn't have ADHD. I have no desire to get diagnosed either. My child has been diagnosed and I know enough about it to have suspicions about myself.