Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

'My ADHD brain'

160 replies

ForDucksSake · 29/07/2026 11:34

I feel like I am hearing/reading this constantly now. It feels like the new anxiety. Why are people seemingly self-diagnosing themselves with ADHD now?

I work with children with autism and ADHD, so I know a fair bit about this disorder. It can be really difficult to manage for some people and it pisses me off that people I have known for years have suddenly decided that they have it because they did a fucking online quiz. It minimises the issues that some people who have ADHD really have.

A friend, who I have known for years announced last week that her 'ADHD brain' is the reason she forgets her purse every time we meet for lunch. When asked about this sudden diagnosis, she said that she had done a quiz and 'it all makes sense now'. I keep this online too, is it just me noticing this?

OP posts:
Menopausalyak · 30/07/2026 18:07

TheSmallAssassin · 29/07/2026 11:44

It's no different from people who kept going on about their "OCD" just because they liked things neat and tidy, it will pass. You have problems with your friend, address them.

As someone with OCD....thankyou for this xx

BambinaCucina · 30/07/2026 18:15

I have to confess that I don't know an awful lot about ADHD. However, is it not true that females tend to be much later diagnosed in life?

Millennials are of the age when we just had naughty kids in the class, and it was generally the boys that were that way. Girls, as far as I understand it, tend to mask.

I've also heard that, as perimenopause starts to hit, it can play havoc with our brains. That's why a lot of women are diagnosed then as well.

Justanopinionnothingmore · 30/07/2026 18:17

Why are there so many derogatory posts on MN about ADHD? I'm starting to think there is an agenda on here, maybe bots, is it to discredit the entire thing?

Since I decided to bite, we say adhd brain to make light out of it. Perhaps the person is embarrassed they've gone yet another thing wrong and trying to explain it.

People are so goddamm hard on ND people especially on here. I don't know why it affects others so much to the point they have to make countless posts making snide and derogatory remarks.

Pushingback · 30/07/2026 18:22

My relative has started saying this. I cannot tell you how annoying it is.

Whether they have ADHD or not, is besides the point. It’s just the latest in a very long line of excuses for extremely shitty behaviour. They seem to think that ADHD is a get out of jail card for being an arsehole. It’s not.

Mandaxx25 · 30/07/2026 19:11

It's driving me up the wall. As someone diagnosed with autism and husband diagnosed with the non hyperactive type of ADHD. We are a bit of a mess at times. Lacking in executive functioning skills that we just cannot seem to overcome. Getting caught up too deeply in special interests. Neighbours think we're oddballs because we don't know any of them. Autism and ADHD cause real life issues. It's not a costume to wear to pretend. I always find it's the most stupid amongst people that shout about it all the time. Never done posting on social media rAiSiNg AwArEnEsS

Mandaxx25 · 30/07/2026 19:12

Justanopinionnothingmore · 30/07/2026 18:17

Why are there so many derogatory posts on MN about ADHD? I'm starting to think there is an agenda on here, maybe bots, is it to discredit the entire thing?

Since I decided to bite, we say adhd brain to make light out of it. Perhaps the person is embarrassed they've gone yet another thing wrong and trying to explain it.

People are so goddamm hard on ND people especially on here. I don't know why it affects others so much to the point they have to make countless posts making snide and derogatory remarks.

Edited

Did you not bother your arse to read the post? She doesn't have ADHD. She did an online quiz and diagnosed herself.

SecretSquid · 30/07/2026 19:37

Mandaxx25 · 30/07/2026 19:12

Did you not bother your arse to read the post? She doesn't have ADHD. She did an online quiz and diagnosed herself.

You don't know that she doesn't have it. Just that she hasn't had a diagnosis.

JustaCrabcake · 30/07/2026 19:44

We have a woman at work who has a general shitty attitude, but loves attention. Completely lazy and no one knows how she actually fills her time and gets away with doing absolutely nothing whilst taking credit for everyone else's work! She has recently diagnosed herself with ADHD and now all of the shitty behaviors are just excused away with her ADHD brain. It's infuriating. My own child has ADHD and life is very hard for him, school is extremely difficult, emotional regulation is difficult. It really pisses me off when adults think it's a coverall for their poor behavior.
Obviously I understand there will be many people who genuinely have it and I empathise with those because I see the effects in my son. But people claiming to have it when they don't is just contributing to the general perception of ADHD, meaning support isn't there for people who actually need it!

Allergictoironing · 30/07/2026 19:56

I was finally diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 60. It was a massive relief to realise that I wasn't stupid, or rude, or lazy, or all the things I'd spent most of my life feeling I was. I went for diagnosis because my brother had just been diagnosed & the first thing he did was call me up & tell me to get it done myself.

Everyone with ADHD is slightly different from each other, and actually he and I can be complete opposites in how it manifests (he can't concentrate in the office, I can't at home for example), but one of the things we do have in common is the drive to research everything to death. Then talk it to death!

One of the things we've learned is that you don't "develop" ADHD OR "grow out of it", you either have it or not as it's a brain function and chemistry thing you're born with. People don't suddenly develop ADHD symptoms, they are there all the time though of course changes in life like extreme stress, breakdowns etc can mean they become more prevalent.

Another thing we've leaned is that it has no bearing on whether you're a nice or nasty person! A nice person with ADHD will often be wracked with guilt at the very thought they may have upset someone, whereas some who use ADHD as an excuse for being bad is just doing that - using it as an excuse.

One way my ADHD manifests is that I over talk, talk too loudly, get excitable in conversations etc. I may blurt out something without thinking, but that is never anything nasty, or with unpleasant intent, or cruel; I just have no or very little filter. This is why I have made it very clear to everyone at where I work that I have ADHD and this is one of the ways it manifests, so they realise this and have had it made clear that I'll never take offence if they ask me to calm down, or stop talking when they are busy, or be a little quieter. But they also understand that it means that in certain aspects of work, e.g. a need for hyper focus on critical tasks, or the ability to jump between 3 subjects at once, or see unobvious links between things, it makes me a major asset to the team.

So typical of my ADHD, I've burbled on for far too long & got away from the point I was going to make and completely left out!
Which is that many of the traits shown by people with ADHD are things that almost everyone does now and again - but with ADHD this is the entirety of our lives. Everyone occasionally forgets their keys or something, with ADHD if you don't always put them in exactly the same place using the same routine then you lose them every other time. Almost everyone is occasionally late for something, with ADHD it's either almost a compulsion to be late to everything (my undiagnosed DSis), or you go the opposite way & plan everything to the death and add contingency into every step of the way and end up arriving way too early (me). Most people forget something in their weekly shopping now & again, I write list after list then either forget to take it with me or forget it's in my pocket every single time - even when grocery shopping on line!

That's the problem with people depending on the on-line tests - they ask questions about things that are normal behaviours if they are occasional, but the people talking the test assume they happen more often than they do because they are thinking about those specific things while they do the test. So their test results come out probably higher than they may otherwise.

Awkwardisfunny · 30/07/2026 20:17

ForDucksSake · 29/07/2026 11:34

I feel like I am hearing/reading this constantly now. It feels like the new anxiety. Why are people seemingly self-diagnosing themselves with ADHD now?

I work with children with autism and ADHD, so I know a fair bit about this disorder. It can be really difficult to manage for some people and it pisses me off that people I have known for years have suddenly decided that they have it because they did a fucking online quiz. It minimises the issues that some people who have ADHD really have.

A friend, who I have known for years announced last week that her 'ADHD brain' is the reason she forgets her purse every time we meet for lunch. When asked about this sudden diagnosis, she said that she had done a quiz and 'it all makes sense now'. I keep this online too, is it just me noticing this?

Yes, it's gone beyond a joke how many people are being diagnosed with this, instead of 'social media induced restlessness and narcissism'. ADHD is completely different.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 30/07/2026 20:19

My DS was diagnosed with autism at 3, adhd a few years later. His diagnosis was 15 years ago and I found the lack of general knowledge to be frustrating, people had a very narrow view of what it is and I admit I probably shared that view too. Now, if I mention his struggles I'm met with oh yeah me too, or my colleague or sister or BF or whoever.. then they tell me something that is so far removed from my experience that's it's of no relevance. It belittles the experiences we have had. I don't know what the answer is because I think on balance it's good that people get help when they need it and can be open. However its really important that we all accept the different versions of ND as they present. No, you do not understand what i went through with my DS because your DD struggled a bit with focus studying when she was 19.

In terms of being forgetful, DS is now the person least likely to forget an item because he has had to work hard to develop systems his whole life to ensure he doesn't rely on his memory. Lists, visual aids, checklists are a part of life, knowing you are forgetful and doing nothing to try to resolve and using adhd as an excuse isn't enough. Most people with adhd work their assess off to keep up and have been doing so for ages, it's not easy but they do it. The person who really deserves praise and respect is the one who overcomes their issues every day and doesn't make it about their ND

catlover123456789 · 30/07/2026 20:22

People have been doing this with OCD for years.

Svelty · 30/07/2026 20:25

Paganpentacle · 29/07/2026 12:05

Its easy to be referred on the NHS... look into Right to Choose.

We don’t have right to choose in Scotland and so there is a 10 year wait or the list is closed.

ThatCheeseNeedsEating · 30/07/2026 20:37

Oh yes! A friend of mine has been diagnosed, has decided not to take the medication but now blames EVERYTHING on her adhd. She makes it as it's a quirky part of her character, like she's ditsy. She's late for everything, loses items etc.
Instead of trying to find a way to manage it, she uses it as a crutch.
I could say I have adhd as I'm disorganised etc but lots of people have traits that are similar to adhd but having it and making out you have it are very different.

Menopausalyak · 30/07/2026 21:30

As someone with OCD....thankyou for this xx

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 30/07/2026 21:33

It does feel overused. In a working environment we would absolutely make reasonable adjustments for those that may have ADHD and i understand it can take 18-24 months for a diagnosis (let alone any medication) but what annoys me are those that use adhd to try and get out of discipline or poor performance at work. ADHD never mentioned before and then suddenly ‘my friend thinks I have it’. Using it like it’s an excuse. It makes a mockery of those truly suffering.

sweetpickle2 · 30/07/2026 21:35

You don’t need a formal diagnosis to have ADHD, the same way that other medical conditions and disabilities don’t magically start the second the doctor diagnoses it in their office.

I have (diagnosed) ADHD, and I think it’s great there is more awareness and more ways for people to figure out how their brain works so they can understand why they may have struggled with certain things.

malloryknox123 · 30/07/2026 21:42

People who genuinely have it wish they didn’t.

NeedMoreTinfoil · 30/07/2026 22:05

I'm formally late diagnosed ADHD inattentive type and awaiting an autism assessment. I'm very open about it. It's screwed up quite a bit of my life at times but at least I know now what was happening and why, and can better manage things now with more awareness.

The self diagnosed are a pain in the behind when they either use it as an excuse for poor behaviour or claim it's a wonderful superpower.

If you are really struggling with symptoms that could be ADHD then I would encourage you to seek diagnosis.
If the symptoms you are experiencing are mainly or entirely positive or just fun and quirky I'd wager you don't have ADHD.

And even if you do have ADHD you are still responsible for your actions. Late to something? Just apologise and make good with a round of drinks/paying missed appointment fee etc. Forgot your purse? Bank transfer your share to your mate when you get home or from your phone.

hotmumshit · 30/07/2026 22:07

Did you laugh in your friends face? 'It all makes sense now' the cheeky bitch 😄😄😄

I got my adhd diagnosis finally, a few years after my autism diagnosis. My live has been adversely affected by my conditions.

Someone saying that to me would piss me the fuck off

BatchCookBabe · 30/07/2026 22:14

ForDucksSake · 29/07/2026 11:41

So do I. What I don't like is people self diagnosing and announcing that they have a condition that they know very little about. It makes a mockery of people who do actually have it. It's a much more complicated disorder than being a bit scatty and certainly cannot be diagnosed using 6 online questions.

This. ^ I know around half a dozen people in their 30s mostly, (and all women) who have decided they have ADHD. When I question when they were diagnosed/what GP/what specialist they saw, it emerges they have seen NO-ONE, and they have self-diagnosed! As you say, it's an insult to people who actually have ADHD!

@ForDucksSake YANBU.

Mexicantortilla · 30/07/2026 23:00

Paganpentacle · 29/07/2026 12:14

Then your GP is on shaky ground... RtC is an NHS-procured service, not a random private provider.

Shared care is completely different to Right to Choose, often adhd medications are prescribed by the services that assess for the condition and then patients want the NHS to carry on the prescribing because it’s cheaper for them, all different geographical areas have different service level agreements to what the GPs in that locality are able to prescribe in primary care. So if a GP cannot prescribe it the patients have to go to their local NHS ADHD service for the prescription and there is a long waiting list for this, it is a separate wait list from the NHS assessment wait list tho so don’t get them confused!

MamzelleDupontizere · 30/07/2026 23:01

I’m beginning to wonder if humans just need to have a way to categorise ourselves and because autism/ ADHD are legitimate diagnoses it makes sense to a lot of people and social media is good at feeding you information you are interested in so that further cements it as part of your identity.
In the past people categorised themselves by things like profession, class or religion. A few years ago everyone was coming out as non binary left, right and centre and my social media was full of people ‘coming out’ and putting their pronouns at the start of any posts/ in their info at the top of pages and there were loads of post and videos about how this had made their lives make sense and raising awareness. All the people I knew who identified as non binary a few years ago have quietly dropped this now but are self diagnosed with autism or ADHD.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 7 in the 90s but I never disclose it and I can’t say I’ve found my “superpower” of setting pans on fire, leaving my front door wide open (sometimes with the keys actually it) when I leave for the day etc particularly helpful!

Allergictoironing · 31/07/2026 00:01

Mexicantortilla · 30/07/2026 23:00

Shared care is completely different to Right to Choose, often adhd medications are prescribed by the services that assess for the condition and then patients want the NHS to carry on the prescribing because it’s cheaper for them, all different geographical areas have different service level agreements to what the GPs in that locality are able to prescribe in primary care. So if a GP cannot prescribe it the patients have to go to their local NHS ADHD service for the prescription and there is a long waiting list for this, it is a separate wait list from the NHS assessment wait list tho so don’t get them confused!

GPs also have the right to refuse shared care agreements if they have a good enough excuse. My previous GPs refused to countenance shared care as they "didn't have a qualified psychiatrist on their books" which is a load of bollocks. I heard that there were a number of GPs surgeries around who had some objection to shared care agreements for any ND diagnoses!

I changed GPs to another local one who were very happy to accept the shared care agreement.

Illegally18 · 31/07/2026 00:25

ForDucksSake · 29/07/2026 12:52

This is my point exactly. Talking about her 'ADHD brain' with a tinkly laugh and 'what am I like?' attitude is what pisses me off. Next week it'll be something else.

I am clearly not explaining myself well, as some posters are thinking I am stigmatising and I very much am not. I think it so important that people with ADHD (or anything else for that matter) get help and support as needed. That's not going to happen when people are self diagnosing from an internet quiz, because then people stop taking it seriously.

You're right, it's very fashionable at the moment.

Swipe left for the next trending thread