'My ADHD brain'

[ForDucksSake]

I feel like I am hearing/reading this constantly now. It feels like the new anxiety. Why are people seemingly self-diagnosing themselves with ADHD now?

I work with children with autism and ADHD, so I know a fair bit about this disorder. It can be really difficult to manage for some people and it pisses me off that people I have known for years have suddenly decided that they have it because they did a fucking online quiz. It minimises the issues that some people who have ADHD really have.

A friend, who I have known for years announced last week that her 'ADHD brain' is the reason she forgets her purse every time we meet for lunch. When asked about this sudden diagnosis, she said that she had done a quiz and 'it all makes sense now'. I keep this online too, is it just me noticing this?

My child has it - diagnosed privately last April and now on medication - people still think they are just a bit ‘naughty’ and adhd is made up…..

It's trending. Autism is trending in the same way. It will be something else in 10 years.

About 20 years ago, depression/generalised anxiety was the trending diagnosis. 10 years ago BPD trended briefly but didn't stick (not a cute and fashionable disorder you can tell your friends about).

Where on earth do you live. Not easy. It’s been ignored by NHS. Had to go private for child. It’s taken 12 years to meet the nhs ADHD team and child is nearly an adult. Most of school life could have been hugely better with adequate support in place. Instead it’s been ignored in school too.

Easy for you to say @Paganpentacle
I wish it was.

Please would someone who has been diagnosed with ADHD and is taking medication for it explain the difference/improvement the medication makes?

I strongly suspect my partner and several of his family members have ADHD. It helps me understand behaviours and make accommodations - and also accounts for many of the traits I love about him. But could medication help him in some ways? How does medication help you?

thank you for any insight 🙏

Do you really think ASD and ADHD are cute and fashionable disorders? I hope to God you’re being sarcastic. Perhaps you watch too much TikTok. I must admit I’m sick to death of the social media content around these conditions. Yes, it’s hilarious watching the ‘ADHD walk’ where the person with ADHD inadvertently pushes his friend into the canal due to lack of spatial awareness. I do find it funny. But extrapolate that lack of spatial awareness out into other areas of a person’s life and it becomes a very real and debilitating condition. There’s one doing the rounds of a man laughing at something on his phone, then he suddenly remembers he was supposed to be calling an ambulance for some poor sod lying on the floor behind him. Again I found it funny, but as the mum of a child with ADHD and whose partner also has it, I worry that it’s seen as some sort of comedy disorder. The people who create that content are finding the humour in it, which is what we often do as humans, but unfortunately many of the people watching the videos are getting the wrong idea.

In all fairness, its taken me a LONG time to understand and realise that my 38yr old daughter, is Autistic. She hasn't been diagnosed, but her daughter (my granddaughter) has - and the traits that they BOTH show are very similar, and i, as a mother and a teacher assistant (who works with autistic SEN children) am gulity of passing off as 'naughty' 'weird' behaviour of my (now) 38yr old as a child. There is a list of things she would do, from stimming to the feel of clothes, to vomiting when nervous, to worrying over silly things which are traits of an autistic person. The gulit I feel knowing that I passed this off when she was growing up as 'oh its just her the way she is' has filled me with gulit. Seeing her now & how she has coped with my beautiful granddaughter and the strategies she has in place to help her makes me doubly proud of the way she has handled things.
I bought her a keyring last Christmas that says ...
'Undiagnosed - but something ain't right' and we laughed about it ..
Also try reading 'artistically me' by Bradley Richards (Lewis from Emmerdale) who explains why it is ok to self diagnose ... although I suspect your friend is pushing her luck and doesnt totally understand what being autistic really is ..

It annoys me when completely normal, everyday emotions or behaviours are pathologised.

A recent one I saw on social media was 'OMG I didn't realise that saying yeah, I feel that too when someone says something was a sign of being ND!'

It isn't, it's called having a conversation.

I wouldn't call them cute disorders, but they are certainly fashionable partly because some people use them as an excuse for bad behaviour.

There is a definite tendency, especially among the younger generations, of using their ND to get away with doing things they wouldn't normally be able to do e.g. not bothering remembering to attend things like job centre meetings. I've heard of people blaming stealing from their family & friends, or assaulting them in a fit of temper, on their ADHD!

@drr Massive difference for me and my DBro. It isn't an instant cure by any means but it does help a lot with being able to concentrate, reduction of physical tics like constantly tapping feet or jiggling legs etc.

I have struggled all my life with all sorts of things, in too many ways to mention here. Doesn't mean I can't have ADHD just because I'm older and "decide" that's what I want to have. No, it's just that back then you were told to "pull yourself together and man up".

Why should kids today benefit from diagnoses while we adults continue to suffer in silence?

I can only speak to m experience, but for me (inattentive type) medication shuts up my brain so I am able to actually put one foot in front of the other rather than feeling totally overwhelmed and therefore never starting anything. I can actually think through a task before I start my next one.

When I first started taking it I remarked to my partner that I could actually hear the sound of eg cars outside and birds singing. He was amazed that I'd never been able to notice that before, but honestly my brain was just so busy.

That being said, medication impacts everyone differently and is not a silver bullet- as I got my diagnosis through Right To Choose there was about a year between getting diagnosed and being started on medication due to the waitlists, so in that time I worked really hard to make accommodations for myself and do as much reading about ADHD as possible so I could better understand how my brain works. I'd recommend anyone, diagnosed or otherwise, does the same.

If you're not being sarcastic, this is an absolutely bonkers take.

Yorkshire.
Its between 2 -20 weeks via RtC here.
Sorry your local infrastructure is shite.

”is it just me noticing this?”

You absolutely know it’s not and, like most other people, are here to complain about something that has absolutely no impact on your life. For everyone “self diagnosing” themselves, there’s the same amount of folk who seem to have a problem with it.

Maybe Mumsnet can have a section dedicated to neurodiversity disbelief/bashing where all of this can be filtered to?

I think there are two things. One is figuring out later in life that you're struggling with executive function, and that there are certain strategies to help with it which can make your life easier, and many of those strategies can be found by looking up "ADHD coping strategies" because that's the term that people these days use to describe their struggles, many of which are quite common in modern life.

The other is self-diagnosing yourself as a special person with a special condition which makes you totally different from the NT normies who have never had any struggles with executive function ever and live perfect lives and will never understand your special struggles blah blah...

What a qualified response. Please stop calling disorders which genuinely ruin the lives of some, “fashionable.”

Spurious claims of various neurodiversities impact anyone who philosophically doesn't agree with the classification into NT & ND that is currently in fashion, because it creates an assumption that anyone who doesn't advertise a disorder is completely fine and has no issues whatsoever. When I'm reality we all have various little struggles based on our personalities, life stage, circumstances, stresses etc.

Exactly the same as how it "doesn't affect" anyone when people say they're non-binary, except it does, because it's a claim that everyone who thinks the concept of being NB is nonsense, is a cisgender person who perfectly aligns with every sex stereotype.

I’m autistic and ADHD, as is my younger brother. We have struggled immensely throughout life, and I know people who have lost their lives over it.

The way our conditions are repeatedly disbelieved makes me want to completely isolate from this society.

Here’s hoping you have the qualifications and insight to assess who is making spurious claims, and who isn’t, then.

I am one who's life has been ruined by ADHD not diagnosed until late in life. Doesn't mean I can't see that some people are using ADHD as an excuse, and that this appears to be a recent trend, hence using the term "fashionable".

A couple of years ago "anxiety" was the condition du jour. I know perfectly well that some people are completely crippled by anxiety, which is completely different from people claiming that because they felt anxious about doing something then they shouldn't have to do it because "anxiety". Being anxious occasionally is a normal human behaviour.

Same as the difference between "being depressed" and "having depression" - one is something most of us encounter at some stage in our lives, the other is on a completely different scale.

The thing is though, how do you know whether someone is 'using it as an excuse' or genuinely suffering?

For me, once we start deciding who is and isn't disabled enough by our own personal standards, it's a slippery slope.

The thing is though, how do you know whether someone is 'using it as an excuse' or genuinely suffering?

And that is the crux of the matter. As with almost every condition that isn't blatantly obvious to anyone looking e.g. their arm or leg is hanging off, or blood pouring out of a wound, there will be some who have a genuine problem and others who are exaggerating or even faking.

If you take everyone's word then you either have half the population being considered disabled in some way, or people dismissive of genuine conditions because everyone has the "same" issues. But if proof is required, then where do you draw the line between "hurts a bit" and "agony" (using a physical example).

And also trying to tell the difference between an acute issue and a chronic one e.g. the difference between "gardener's back" in the spring time, and spinal stenosis or arthritis all the time. For physical ailments you can usually have a physical diagnosis from things like scans, for mental illness or diversity it's much harder.

It’s almost as if we should just… mind our own business and stop judging absolutely everyone 🙃

I totally agree. That's why it's important that people don't minimise the issue by announcing to everyone that they have ADHD because they did a 6 question quiz on the internet. People stop taking it seriously and that is a disaster for those people who do have this disorder.

A lot of is are trying to mind our own business and change the subject where we can but our friends keep bringing up their undiagnosed ADHD at every opportunity and without any acknowledgement that they have not been diagnosed. I don't say anything in real life but it is rather irritating.

Im inattentive, my son is severe combined

Im sick of people telling me they are too and I should just do x,y and z and all issues would go away........ Lord I wish it would

Be more organised and you won't forget appointments.
Mate ive turned up to hospital with the wrong child on the wrong day when I should have been at my own appointment

No amount of post it notes, calenders, organisers or journals have ever stopped me completely forgetting what day of the week it is yet

Im also not fond of folks that try and diagnose me with OCD because they hear me reciting stuff to myself or because I need to have things in a certain place to prompt me (doesnt work, even the whiteboard on my door doesnt )

My "favorite" is being told that so-and-so who has (self-diagnosed) ADHD can self regulate, so I have no excuse not to. Duh if I KNEW I was doing something that wasn't right then I would happily self regulate, but you can't do that when you don't realise that you're behaving that way!