Husband just walked in after stag weekend

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He left Friday lunchtime for a weekend around 3 hrs away. Young DC whom I’ve looked after all weekend doing swimming, play dates, party, nature walk, baking etc. We agreed husband would get up on Sunday and come straight back, and we realised he’d need to book a minicab to the train station as the stag do was in the middle of the countryside. I kept asking if he had booked the mini cab and he hadn’t but said he was aware.

Then this morning at 9 he texts he’s going for a shower and that he’s going for brunch at 11. I was like WTAF?! To brunch!

He said he couldn’t find any local cab companies able to come out earlier. I sent him some links and eventually he found one , so got picked up at 11 (skipped the brunch I presume) and finally arrived back home just now.

He asked how I was and I said cross. He is now refusing to speak as he said I’ve misunderstood his text messages but when I ask for clarity he says I’m not speaking now as I’m too cross to explain.

He’s now playing Xbox with DC who are allowed 2hrs on a Sunday afternoon. So I’ve done all the ferrying and hands on activities with them he gets to come home and chill out on the sofa playing Xbox and DC think fun Dad is back.

Does he go on many stag dos? If not I think you’re being a bit unfair.

Give him a break OP. And have a nice weekend away yourself too.

How old are your kids? Presumably not toddlers if they are playing Xbox? I don't think it's unreasonable to be back mid afternoon on a Sunday after a stag do three hours away where travel was tricky.

What are you cross about?

Unless he’s away every other weekend, you were, I think, pretty unreasonable expecting him to cut his weekend short. I’d be so annoyed with DH if he did that to me, for the sake of a few extra hours on a Sunday, and had been pestering me about it. He shouldn’t have lied but a parent having a weekend away shouldn’t be unreasonable.
Do you get any time to yourself at all? Is this a sort of jealousy thing?

I think wait until you've had a chance to calm down and he's not tired/hungover and explain why you were annoyed. Whilst he's playing with the kids, go and do something you want to do for a few hours.

From what you have said, you are being pretty unreasonable towards him. I would have stayed for the brunch.

YABU.

Not sure what the problem is to be honest. I thought you were going to say he’d come back home pissed still or admitted to having shagged someone else or done coke.
why did you micromanage the whole cab booking and time he came home like he was your kid?

Sounds like you resent him for having a weekend away on a stag do.

Is he always going away at weekends or is this a one off or rare occasion?

If its rare I think you are being massively unreasonable and unfair.

If he regularly pisses off all weekend then you need to sort that out.

I wouldn’t be annoyed by this and I think it’s a shame he didn’t have brunch. However that’s because my DH was happy for me to have a weekend away whilst he looked after the DC when they were little. Will your DH do that? Get planning a weekend away on your own or with some friends.

Come on OP, unless you’re doing a major drip feed and this is what he does every weekend and he’s got a major drinking problem YABU.

No one is saying the weekend probably wasn’t hard for you but it’s one weekend for his friends stag do.

If the genders were reversed and you were on a hen weekend and told everyone you had to leave first thing in the morning and miss the group brunch because your husband was demanding it he would be seen as an abusive tosser.

It’s one weekend, yabu.

He's presumably a wanker in other areas OP, eg regularly absent, or abusive. More information is needed, please.

I agree

Sorry OP I don’t think he’s done too much wrong, he’s basically been away just over 48 hours including a six hour round trip and as someone else said, unless he is away all the time and/or Is useless day to day I don’t think he’s really done anything, maybe just not communicated properly what time he’d be back. Could you book a nice weekend away somewhere too?

Unless he's out all weekend often, why not just "let" him have the whole weekend. Personally, I don't think it was reasonable to ask him to skip brunch and if he's now home and playing with DC, with you sulking, he's not wrong to think you're being unreasonable.

And controlling, don't forget controlling!

I believe in having equal time as much as possible.
Why don’t you get a weekend booked in with your friends - or take yourself away for the weekend?

What are you cross about exactly? Sounds like a shame he couldn’t stay for brunch and tbh you sound fairly demanding!

It’s a stag do with his friends, that sounds quite reasonable that he was having brunch with them on the Sunday, why were you adamant he had to come early? Surely he’s entitled to some fun with his friends, my children are very young and I still wouldn’t expect that! Nor would my husband, we are still people besides being parents.

I think YABU. Why shouldn't he have brunch with his friends on the Sunday before coming home? Friday lunchtime to early afternoon Sunday is not that long for him to spend on a weekend away and not that long for you to look after your own children by yourself.

Yabu. Why so angry?

I went on a girls trip when ours primary age the flights went wrong so I was back a whole day late. We all caught covid on the plane and I was then ill in bed for 2 weeks DH had to do literally everything on his own for another week. He didn’t complain though thats life and I facilitate his trips.

So he had to be the one to say I can't stay for brunch because my wife wants me home . Not to do anything in particular but you resent him being away . Imagine if he said that to you on a hen weekend. Honestly I just can't get my head around individuals man or woman who don't like being left alone with their children for awhile . How do you think single parents or forces wives manage . This resentful and begrudging attitude is rotten no matter which side it comes from . And nobody does themselves any favours having a pissy face on when they do return . Makes coming home to your family really attractive. What did you want him to do ? Beg forgiveness? Stop scoring points .

Poor man having such a controlling wife. YABVU (unless this is a monthly occurrence)