Big row with DH over my weight

[Prickleitch]

Hi

last night I had a huge argument with DH about my weight loss. To give you some context, I am 5‘8“ tall and five months ago I was over 16 stone. I’ve always been quite a curvy girl and when I met DH I was probably around 12 stone so not slim but not massive either. having children and getting a bit older saw me put the pounds on and I decided last year that I had to do something about. Obviously some of this was vanity driven but also my blood pressure was a bit high and I didn’t want to just keep getting bigger. I have been taking Mounjaro which I have paid for privately and when I got on the scales two days ago for my most recent weighin I weighed 10 stone and 12 lb. This is the latest I’ve been in my adult life and I feel happy with this weight.

last night, DH made a comment about me looking too thin. He kept on about it so I asked him if he still found me attractive. He said that he didn’t find me unattractive but that he definitely thought I was sexier when I had a bit more weight on me. He then made a comment about how he thinks the weight loss has made me look a bit older. They sent me into a rage. Whilst we all have our personal preferences but he seems to be forgetting that I was 16 stone with high blood pressure.

It was at this point that all hell broke loose and I said some pretty nasty things to DH. I’m not proud to admit this but after the comments to me I screamed back at him “well I would like a husband with a 10 inch cock but here I am getting on with things with your chode”

he thinks I’ve crossed a line. AIBU to feel that his comments to me were unfair ?

I think that he expressed concern, you pushed for more information, he gave it to you, you didn't like it and were nasty.

Wow you were mean!

Is " chode" another word for cock?
i never knew that.

Nobody says the word chode in real life.

I hate it when people ask questions they don’t really want the real answers to…

I think you were both mean.

Funny though. And he probably won’t tell you look old again.

I do think losing weight makes someone look more haggard and older. The fat pads out the skin more!

She didn’t ask…

It was a daft conversation to have. I’d have shut it down right at the start when he said you were too thin. I definitely wouldn’t have asked him if he thought inwas attractive and then got upset about his answer.

You asked him but you only wanted him to say that he did find you more attractive.

Yes she did.

Yeah you were really mean, to be fair to him actually I’d kind of agree that a lot of people who CAN look older (not saying you do but just my opinion). I’d be so hurt if I was your husband I mean imagine it the other way round you’d probably feel the same.

I look older and more wrinkled when I loose weight, never lasts anyway though dr has said the dreaded words high blood pressure recently but also offer me a free gym pass… a hint me thinks

Wow, that escalated quickly 😳

He was just answering your question truthfully. I think your retort about his cock was a bit childish to be honest. Also, his cock is probably the same size as when you met, whereas, in his opinion, you have changed.

I lost four stone on Mounjaro, my DH was only ever supportive. I definitely look older I think, but I prefer my slim face and lack of fat neck and face. I don’t think he gets a free rein to pick at your appearance, his only concern should be whether you are happier and healthier, and you are.

Had to Google chode though, and was a wee bit ouch.

Yeah, he wasn't being nasty you were !

I don't think it's fair to ask a question that you're not happy to hear the answer to. Your DH fell in love with a 'larger lady' and was just saying that he thought you were now looking older. People often do look older if they lose a lot of weight, and you've lost 5 stones in 5 months, so that's a big difference.

Presumably he didn't have a 10 inch penis when you met him, so he hasn't changed any goal posts.

Well done for losing the weight. However, unfortunately for a lot of people, sudden weight loss does make them look older.

I think your husband probably did like your body curvy, after all that’s how you were when you met. You pushed too hard, hoping he would pay you more compliments but that didn’t happen and it’s upset you.

You both sound like you said unkind things.

Bet your glad you have that in your search history now 😂

He should know better than to say anything critical about a woman's weight.
I don't know if u crossed the line, but it does sound funny.

Chode 🤣

You asked him if he found you attractive and he was honest, then you lashed out with an attack on a body part he can do nothing about. YW massively U.

Him acknowledging he found you more attractive with a bit more weight doesn't mean he wanted you back at 16 stone, there's a whole 5 stone between where you are now and where you were then. I'm the same height as you, had the same starting weight but I'm currently around 12st7. If I lost another 21lbs I would be very slim and it follows that wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea. Fast weight loss often makes people look older and may or may not settle as the skin regains some elasticity.

I think you owe him a massive, sincere apology

Wow, you escalated that and were absolutely nasty.

If you didn’t want to know the truth, why even ask.

It’s hugely unlikely you look older at nearly 11 stone, no one looks at a face in isolation, they look at the whole package and a fat face atop a big belly and matronly bust is as ageing as it gets. So he was being mean. He clearly either likes bigger women or feels threatened by your weight loss.

however you were nasty as fuck in response. You went full on scorched earth like you aren’t even in control of your anger. And that’s a concern.

We all say things we regret in the heat of the moment. Just apologise and move on.

A horrible immature thing to say OP