DD12 - being scammed by friend?

[Doopersuper]

Hey, a bit of a wwyd!…and sorry, tried not to be too long but don’t want to drip feed! DD12 swims 4-5 times a week with a swim club. She & a friend have a locker that they share (we rent it on a yearly basis) so that we don’t have to worry about trailing kit around. In the locker they have their own stuff that they keep separately and a basket/bag of kit they don’t mind sharing. Friend was off for a week and in this time DD12 used a shampoo that was in the shared bag. It was in a supermarket own brand bottle. When friend returned they (and their parent) went nuts because DD had ‘stolen’ their expensive shampoo….apparently it’s a ‘designer’ brand that they had decanted into the own brand bottle and they deny leaving it in the shared section and claim dd took it on purpose (worth noting here it would not have served her hair type well in any way!). We have already stood our ground (it was ugly😬) and thought it had gone away but they’ve started demanding a replacement again after today’s training session. They want DD to give them £30!! Part of me thinks we should just give them the cash and never have dealings with them again but the other part of me is questioning what example that sets for DD - just acquiesce every time you’re accused of something wrongly?! It’s all bloody daft but has become very unpleasant which is very sad. Actually, don’t tell me what to do, just persuade me that this sort of bonkersness is rare!!

I would buy too bottles. The cheap supermarket one and the expensive one. Then decant the cheap one into the expensive one and keep the contents of the expensive one for yourself. What child has £30 shampoo anyway?!

Two, not too!

Definitely bonkers
Definitely decant an amount used by your daughter as someone above recommended.

Btw who pays the yearly locker fee. Both of you or just you? I'd be asking for a contribution of half the yearly fee if you are paying it?!

Utterly bonkers

Buy the expensive shampoo, take a bit out and fill the space with piss/Veet/Aldi shampoo. That would make me feel better!

If they want payment for the whole bottle, you are entitled to the remaining amount in the original bottle, they can’t have both

Shouldn't they be decanting the basic brand into the designer bottle not the other way around? It just doesn't make any sense.

I have been into my mind palace & have deduced that the demandy girl was stealth stealing her own mum’s fancy shampoo by decanting it into supermarket bottle.

The mum found out & wants £30 quid off her daughter to replace what she’s taken. Daughter is now trying to extract the £30 from your daughter so she doesn’t have to cough up.

-Doffs deerstalker & leaves room-

(very sheepishly if this has already been mentioned as have not read full thread.

Too many other crimes to solve)

Christ they really do walk amongst us don’t they 🤦🏼‍♀️ I genuinely wouldn’t dream of doing this even if your daughter had used to bloody shampoo on purpose!! I’d just it was probably an innocent mistake and make sure you don’t leave it there again! Absolute weird behaviour and so inappropriate and I’d tell them so, then I’d never deal with the lunatics again!

I don’t think that shampoo is actually that expensive when you look at the cost per 100 ml (unit price). I should think that the cost per 100 ml is comparable to a cheaper supermarket brand due to the size of the bottle.

This is more welfare and safe guarding than a coach matter though. If your DD is being labelled a thief or such like, this is definitely welfare and you can also go straight to Swim England via WavePower

Some of the chlorine removing shampoos for swimmers are quite expensive but they are seriously nuts to think anyone should be replacing a whole bottle after using such a small amount

I'm still holding out to find out what shampoo it was???

Personally I'd have replaced it with smallest bottle I could find and found ways never to have to deal with them again.

What shampoo does your dd usually use?

Does she not have her own?

Presumably she doesn't use that shampoo when her friend is around?

Did you buy her shampoo but she still used the friends stuff?

Why do they share toiletries? How often do you buy for the shared basket?

@nancy2022

Have you read a word of the OP's posts except for the word "shampoo"?

When are they due to swim again @Doopersuper ? Can you in the meantime, discuss with the pool management about getting a separate locker away from this family?
Do a quick search on line for travel sized versions of this particular shampoo and then get that and oly that for these swimmers, hand them over and then say to the parent "That puts an end to this shampoo debacle. I hope you understand that your demands have affected the dynamic in the swim team and that my DD no longer wants to be involved with your DD as part of the team. This could have been so easily avoided if your DD hadn't left your uber-expensive shampoo in the shared area in their locker so ultimately it is actually your DD's fault."

"Allegedly" über-expensive shampoo, @LookItsMeAgain

"Allegedly"

Personally I think it's an untruth.

Obviously they are hysterical but a 1 ltr bottle of Aveda shampoo can be as much as £87 .
Maybe they decanted some of this into a smaller cheap bottle.
To give them benefit of the doubt. BUT they seem to refuse to take responsibility for this and that your daughter made an innocent mistake. But also whats weird why are they not waving the expensive bottle around to show what it is and prove their case. Its like they are the ones hidding something.
Personally i would hand over the £30 and very publicly with lots of attention announce in a group email to the entire swim class so that every parent can read it, the dangers of sharing a locker with these people and how easily they accuse children of being thief's.

https://ukbeautyclub.com/products/aveda-botanical-repair-strengthening-shampoo-1000ml?variant=43962477117695&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtO-kBhDIARIsAL6LorffRLeVQ0va1oPnaGZ01b0br1BXcciOLxmj-gbXaXn3v9voCuE7Z6MaAk_aEALw_wcB

Yes, I wonder if it’s the full story too. There’s always two sides after all.

I’ve bought 1 litre of pureology hydrate a few times which is around £40 but I wouldn’t class it as “designer”. I would class Oribe as designer and that’s £128 a litre so depending how much she used, £30 could be about right… however, if they can afford to spend that much on shampoo for a child would they really be kicking up that much of a fuss over £30?

I saw a previous comment saying the DD usually uses her own shampoo but used the friends only while she was on holiday so if that’s true(haven’t read every comment) I wonder if the DD knew it was very expensive and just was desperate to try it. I could understand that. Maybe she has asked to use it before and the friend has said no.

I would probably just pay it to get them off my back. I couldn’t do with that level of drama.

I would 100% do this!

I would write them a letter stating that you are happy to replace what was used, in order to do so you need to know the brand of shampoo that was decanted into the cheap Tesco bottle and would also like the bottle so you can have it tested to prove that this was indeed the shampoo inside and not the cheaper bald and as the bottle stated.
state in the letter that once you’ve got the bottle and your daughter confirms it was indeed the same stuff she borrowed, you will buy a bottle and give them the equivalent of what your daughter used. State that you WILL NOT be replacing the whole bottle as your daughter quite clearly used a VERY small amount!

Not a chance in hell would I give them £30!

I would maybe give them £3 and write
‘my daughter used a shampoo that was in a Tesco own brand bottle priced at £x, the £3 enclosed will more than buy you a whole bottle of this product! IF you did indeed decant a £30 bottle of shampoo into the Tesco bottle as you are claiming to have done, then the £3 enclosed will also more than cover the less than 10% of the bottle that she would have used. Either way I hope this sees an end to a silly mistake that really wasn’t worth all this drama for £3 worth of shampoo !
yours sincerely @Doopersuper

Find out whether the actual brand do sample sachets and give them one of those

ask her in front of the other mums what brand it was . when she mentions the brand (if she remembers it) ask her what colour the shampoo in the bottle is. Then, whatever colour she says comment well you have just solved my problem . you get NOTHING! and say no more just walk away. it will leave her wondering where she f*cked up with her lies .

Just give them the money and get your daughter her own locker. At the end of the day, it's a cheap price to pay to see someone's true colors

If they can afford £87 Aveda for their 12 year old, they can afford to lose a a tiny bit to supposed friend

Weirdos

tempting to buy the bottle of shampoo and squirt a dollop in her hand, while saying thats what your daughter used