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Original poster

DD12 - being scammed by friend?

341 replies

Doopersuper · 25/06/2023 22:08

Hey, a bit of a wwyd!…and sorry, tried not to be too long but don’t want to drip feed! DD12 swims 4-5 times a week with a swim club. She & a friend have a locker that they share (we rent it on a yearly basis) so that we don’t have to worry about trailing kit around. In the locker they have their own stuff that they keep separately and a basket/bag of kit they don’t mind sharing. Friend was off for a week and in this time DD12 used a shampoo that was in the shared bag. It was in a supermarket own brand bottle. When friend returned they (and their parent) went nuts because DD had ‘stolen’ their expensive shampoo….apparently it’s a ‘designer’ brand that they had decanted into the own brand bottle and they deny leaving it in the shared section and claim dd took it on purpose (worth noting here it would not have served her hair type well in any way!). We have already stood our ground (it was ugly😬) and thought it had gone away but they’ve started demanding a replacement again after today’s training session. They want DD to give them £30!! Part of me thinks we should just give them the cash and never have dealings with them again but the other part of me is questioning what example that sets for DD - just acquiesce every time you’re accused of something wrongly?! It’s all bloody daft but has become very unpleasant which is very sad. Actually, don’t tell me what to do, just persuade me that this sort of bonkersness is rare!!

OP posts:
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Bignanny30 · 27/06/2023 18:01

Buy the shampoo they claim it was and make a big thing of giving it to them in front of the other people who they have trashed your dd in front of; saying something along the lines of ‘this is a full bottle of x brand shampoo to compensate for the SMALL amount of x brand shampoo that my daughter accidentally used in good faith and did not actually steal’.

Rosscameasdoody · 27/06/2023 18:25

Maybe if you’re going to spend money, it would be better spent sending them a solicitors’ letter warning them of the consequences if they continue to call your daughter a thief.

CrazyLadie · 27/06/2023 18:28

Doopersuper · 25/06/2023 23:46

Thanks @daretodenim - I’ve spoken with the head coach. They were initially very supportive but now don’t want to get too. far involved further… to be honest I think they’re a bit concerned the crazy will turn on them! And yes, it would be great to move clubs but we already travel a fair distance to this one - another further away is just not feasible.

Well it's a shame they don't want to get involved but they have a duty of care to your daughter and need to act on it

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sassyclassyandsmartassy · 27/06/2023 18:31

F*ck this, I am the type of person that would stand up in front of the whole swim team at practise and then turn to the child/parent on question and in front of everyone else say ‘I feel I need to clear up an issue that the whole club now seems to be party to. Apparently my DD used a shampoo on one occasion to wash her hair once that was accidentally left in the shared items bag in the locker. Whilst she is sorry this has occurred apparently the only recompense is to pay £30 to this person which, unless it contains gold flakes seems somewhat excessive for two ten pence piece sized blobs of shampoo. To bring the matter to a conclusion I would like to purchase the shampoo used by my DD to compensate the amount used as I feel this is the most appropriate way of handling the situation without betterment to either party. Could you please tell me the brand and type and I will ensure this is done’ I would then stand there looking at them both until they gave you the brand and not engage in any theatre over it, just keep repeating very calmly ‘this is all very unnecessary, could you please tell me the brand and type?’. Then, as others have said I would buy a travel size and I would then again make a big deal of handing it to them in front of anyone and clearly say ‘hopefully everyone here will learn a lesson from this sorry state of affairs’.

One thing I can tell you OP is it says more about them!!!!

Bobbielikespeas · 27/06/2023 18:34

Buy yourself the actual expensive brand, decant a table spoonful into a freezer bag and give that back to them.

GenerationWhy · 27/06/2023 18:37

junebirthdaygirl · 26/06/2023 00:13

I would pay . Just to get them off my back and especially off your dds back. There is a danger they will make her life miserable at swimming so give them the dam 30 and never speak to them again. They sound like they love a fight so by giving them the money you close everything down and they can get lost.
Your poor dd l hope she can continue to enjoy her swimming and move on from this.
They are 100% out of order but you can take the higher ground and make sure dd never shares one thing with their dd again.

Definitely this. It’s a horrible situation but it really sounds like they could be the type to use any excuse to take retribution on your DD (nasty comments etc) if they want to make your life difficult, moving forward. Therefore, much as it’s a lot of money, if you have to pay it maybe see it as an unfortunate life surcharge that you’re paying to unreasonable people in order to draw a line under it so you can move on with your lives. Also, if the other girl and her mum EVER say anything about it again you’ll be able to say, ‘We dealt with that - there’s nothing more to say.’ This way, too, if it is brought up again, in any way, shape or form, I think you’d be within your rights to go back to the coach and say you considered the matter settled but these two insist on harassing/bullying you/your daughter about it.

DoubleTime · 27/06/2023 18:40

Do you know which shampoo it was ? See if they have travel size bottles and gve them one of those.

Palladin · 27/06/2023 18:47

I wouldn't pay them a penny, but instead share this thread with a few other swimming club parents. That should deal with any malicious comments from the other girl's parents!

born2runaway · 27/06/2023 18:51

This is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Do they want their kid to have no friends and grow up to be kind, uncaring and possessive? Probably they do.

Even if the shampoo costs £30, who begrudges a 12 year old a squirt of it?

What i would do here is purchase the shampoo. Decant most into another bottle maybe 1/2 or 3/4 and then hand it over

Two can be petty

born2runaway · 27/06/2023 18:56

Wouldn't it be awesome if the mother of this kid reads the thread

Where's the daily fail when you need them?

Lainie · 27/06/2023 19:12

buy a bottle of the same brand your daughter used (cheap stuff!) offer the same bottle of cheap stuff unless they can prove it was fancy stuff with a receipt as proof and check with your daughter what colour it was or what it smelt of, cheapo is usually apple, raspberry or coconut scent and if it was one of those she'd remember easily. Tell the coach to sort the nasty mother out or you'll contact his boss! x

Marmablade · 27/06/2023 19:13

I would sort out a stock phrase with your DD to use whenever this gets brought up.

'I accidentally used your/her shampoo once because it was in the shared area of our locker. I've offered to pay for what I used but I don't think it's reasonable to pay £30 for a whole new bottle'

Repeat repeat repeat. No one can argue that.

FWIW I decant into small bottles but I cannot think under what circumstances I would use £30 worth of shampoo from one of them and my shampoo is £30 for 1000ml!

masterblaster · 27/06/2023 19:15

Give them the 30 quid.

Wait six months.

Steal a wheel off their car. Sell it for 30 quid.

venus7 · 27/06/2023 19:18

CoreyTaylorsSoggyTshirt · 25/06/2023 22:47

But the supermarket own brand, tell them you actually bought the expensive one but decanted into that bottle, as they wanted an exact replacement, then block them on everything and ignore.

Brilliant! This.....they decant, you decant, we decant, etc.

Shaz1704 · 27/06/2023 19:27

i personally would buy the brand of said shampoo and get a empty travel container and put what DD used in that and give it to them x

cass5 · 27/06/2023 19:41

Absolutely insane, can't believe people would chose to jeopardise a friendship over £30 shampoo. I would probably give them the money to end the whole story and never have to deal with them again, but the right thing would be to ignore them.

Owl55 · 27/06/2023 19:45

This is not how friends treat each! Buy the expensive shampoo and pour enough for 2 washes and say you have given them extra as they are obviously struggling financially!! And do it in front of them ! Arseholes comes to mind!

noodlebugz · 27/06/2023 20:09

Perhaps if they want to harp on about DD being a thief and it’s so serious - ask them to report it via the non emergency number to the police?
Either they won’t because they realise that they’re ridiculous or they do and get laughed out of the building?

Gettingolderandgrumpier60 · 27/06/2023 20:27

ButterCrackers · 26/06/2023 07:06

Your dd used the shampoo from the shared box and used what she thought was cheap shampoo. It’s their fault. Tell them that you’ve noted their thirty pound demand. Do report this to the police and the swim club. Tell them as well that you’ve reported them to the police and swim club. It sounds like a scam as no way does one shampoo use cost thirty pounds. Tell them to get another locker.

Do this.
But If you really must, give them £5 and tell them that that more than covers for the blob of shampoo your daughter used.

pollymere · 27/06/2023 20:27

My teen wanted a shampoo recommended by a friend but apparently it was REALLY expensive. Reader, it was £11 and I used my Boots points to get it for free for them. I truly haven't seen shampoos that are more than that. What a weird thing to die on your sword over. I wonder what really triggered it?

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 27/06/2023 20:37

pollymere · 27/06/2023 20:27

My teen wanted a shampoo recommended by a friend but apparently it was REALLY expensive. Reader, it was £11 and I used my Boots points to get it for free for them. I truly haven't seen shampoos that are more than that. What a weird thing to die on your sword over. I wonder what really triggered it?

You've never seen shampoo that costa more than £11?

Tinklake44 · 27/06/2023 20:48

I would ask the brand, buy a bottle, empty it, fill it instead with the cheapest shampoo you can find and give them the bottle 😈

Autumntree · 27/06/2023 20:58

Petty, petty people they are. Cut your contact and block and ignore them.

Hmm1234 · 27/06/2023 21:03

Oh another stepford housewives post.. why would she lie about shampoo!!

CountessWindyBottom · 27/06/2023 21:20

I’d buy a replacement bottle for £30, give it to them and consider it money well spent in ridding yourself and your daughter of grifting cunts. Know any solicitors? A cease and desist letter claiming no liability enclosed with it would work wonders too. They are toxic nut jobs.