Our neighbour has just shout at us for having a bbq

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Honestly im quite embarrassed and can't believe this just happened but basically our DS turned 12 on Friday, he's too big for a party but wanted a family bbq with our close family ( my sister, her 2 kids, my parents and DH parents) we had just pottered about the garden and I was getting seats out, hubby was getting BBQ sorted and next thing I know my neighbour starts screaming at us over the fence. I was initially quite taken back by her and asked her what was wrong ( in a very gentle confused voice) she started screaming that she's had it up to the next of people BBQ ing and she's just out out washing and we are extremely selfish for not asking her if it was ok to BBQ! I politely said I'm very sorry to have bothered you but it's my sons birthday and this is only the 2nd time we have had a BBQ so her anger at us is misplaced. She continued screaming at me until she stormed off. I'm now feeling a bit rubbish that my guests aren't even here yet and the day is ruined.

Am I a selfish prat for not arranging this with her first? I genuinely didn't think this was a thing?!

I have never had a neighbour tell
me they’re having a bbq and likewise I have never told them either. Your neighbour is a nutter and you should have told her to piss off.

Absolutely. I spotted the time of the post - nearly 8pm - and thought that. What was the neighbour thinking?

I'm quite good with creepy-crawlies. If my dad wasn't around my mum and sister used to get me to pick them up. I was nervous but wanted to be a big girl so I hid my fear and learned they are not that bad. I'm okay with daddy-long-legs and small spiders in my bare hands but always use a tissue for bigger spiders and earwigs because my mum told me earwigs bit with the pincers on their bums while telling me to move in and get rid of it.

I get a lot of bees indoors in Spring - they hibernate in the chimney. I've looked them up and they are called Hairy-Footed Flower Bees https://www.bumblebeeconservation.org/hairy-footed-flower-bee-anthophora-plumipes/ They don't harm the brickwork, but obviously, they sting, so I release them with a jam jar and a birthday card. Sometimes it's too cold and I find their shrivelled corpses on the doorstep but when it's a nice day it's the most brilliant feeling when they bumble off into the sky. I always hum the theme from Born Free. They never seem very grateful though.

Earwigs always lurk in sleeping bags while camping (a job for me and my dad again) or in washing left out in the evening so my mum would take things off the line well before dusk. There was that time I left a picnic blanket in the garden and my mum told me to bring it in. Quite, right I shouldn't have left it out there. It was about 10pm. I grabbed it and went to fold it and there was a huge beetle that was like something from an Egyptian Mummy horror film. I screamed and my mum said I had to leave it at the back door and told my dad to deal with it in the morning.

It is customary here to let the neighbours know when you're about tonight the BBQ if they have washing on the line....

I couldn't tell you how or when it started, but we always have and so have they.

Never pick up a slug with your bare hands BTW. You'll be scrubbing that slime off for hours and have to throw the brush away. Slugs also lurk in damp washing left out after dark.

It’s none of her business if you have a BBQ. Just ignore her. Not worth giving her any attention.

Me neither, I forget to get our own washing in the other evening when we had one and none of it smelled of bbq.

Cook stuff badly? Is that what you think a bbq is?

Same. And we talk to each other too, but I'd think it was odd if my neighbour warned me about a barbecue.

@Redebs So would I. Because I can and because the entitled twat would have irritated the fuck out of me with her attempt to dictate what I could and couldn't do in my own garden.

I bloody hate the smell, so id personally pre warn neighbours, that way their washing and house if windows open wont stink.
It just manners no need to ask pop a note through mid week warning neighbours.