Our neighbour has just shout at us for having a bbq

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Honestly im quite embarrassed and can't believe this just happened but basically our DS turned 12 on Friday, he's too big for a party but wanted a family bbq with our close family ( my sister, her 2 kids, my parents and DH parents) we had just pottered about the garden and I was getting seats out, hubby was getting BBQ sorted and next thing I know my neighbour starts screaming at us over the fence. I was initially quite taken back by her and asked her what was wrong ( in a very gentle confused voice) she started screaming that she's had it up to the next of people BBQ ing and she's just out out washing and we are extremely selfish for not asking her if it was ok to BBQ! I politely said I'm very sorry to have bothered you but it's my sons birthday and this is only the 2nd time we have had a BBQ so her anger at us is misplaced. She continued screaming at me until she stormed off. I'm now feeling a bit rubbish that my guests aren't even here yet and the day is ruined.

Am I a selfish prat for not arranging this with her first? I genuinely didn't think this was a thing?!

It's not a thing. Although I remember another recent similar thread.

If she moans again tell her she's welcome to check if you're planning a bbq when she wants to hang her washing out!

A mumsnetter wouldn’t scream over the fence, they would fume silently, start a thread and then come to the conclusion that they should post a polite note asking for more consideration.

She’s mad. Ignore her.

It's summer. I think everyone should accept that people have BBQs when it's nice weather. Unless there's some bylaw then it's just life and they have to learn to live with it or move somewhere in the middle of the countryside.

Sorry they've upset you and I hope the family had a nice day.

Op I love the smell of barbecue and would have been delighted if you were my next door neighbour. Your neighbour is bonkers. Forget about her and I hope your son had a lovely and fun party.

I'd love it if clothes smelt of BBQ

Holy shit. This would never, ever, ever even cross my mind. Mumsnet really is another world.
OP, your bbq, in your garden, is literally nothing to do with your crazy neighbour.

Ignore her if it was every lunch and dinner fair enough but she can put her washing out another time. My neighbour bbqs often and I’m only annoyed that I’m not eating it 😂

It's summer, it's your garden you have the right to have. BBQ whether we you want!

Whenever

Do not give this entitled women the power to ruin your BBQ. Who the hell does she think she is?!

Enjoy your sons BBQ and don’t give her a second thought. This is her issue, not yours.

It is curteous to let close by neighbours with washing already out know you are about to light up so they can take their washing in, but not ask permission.

I would have one each day until winter just to piss her off even more!

When it comes to bbqs and neighbours I feel like weekends are free game and should be expected.

My neighbours BBQ a lot. We hang washing out a lot. I just keep the washing out for an extra hour or 24 and any lingering smells have been outsided away. Problem solved without any hysteria.

Those fucking chimnea things on the other hand. Ghastly.

I text my neighbours if I'm having a bbq and they have their laundry out and they do the same for me. It takes about a minute to do. If it's really hot where you live then everyone will have their windows open.

This. Eating outside is lovely but you all have fully equipped kitchens inside. Why do you have to cook stuff really badly outside and stink everyone else out too.

You don’t need to agree it with her, but it’s polite to give her notice - however much you can. She didn’t need to be so aggressive. You are both at fault. Call it quits.

No. My neighbours don’t tend to light it under my window

I always tell ours if they have washing on the line before we start

We always let the neighbours know if we are having a bbq so they can bring their washing in . It’s only polite

I'd have matched her energy and told her to fuck off, why is she even putting washing out this late anyway?
I'd also have a bbq every weekend for the rest of the summer 😆

I'd have offered her a burger to shut her trap

I'd be tut tutting about her doing her washing on a Sunday. Only kidding, but that was never allowed when I were a lass. Good old Catholic granny laid down those rules for all the generations while she was alive. She was fierce!

It is awkward for you, but don't be bullied. Maybe drop in later and just say you didn't mean to annoy her, and will drop a note in in future to let her know about your BBQs in case she is thinking of washing. If she goes off on one, ignore from now on. You tried.

It's her business because her washing is going to smell now.
The worst is people who have open fires when you have clothes on the line.
You don't have to ask permission, but if you were a nice person you'd let them know in advance.