Our neighbour has just shout at us for having a bbq

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Honestly im quite embarrassed and can't believe this just happened but basically our DS turned 12 on Friday, he's too big for a party but wanted a family bbq with our close family ( my sister, her 2 kids, my parents and DH parents) we had just pottered about the garden and I was getting seats out, hubby was getting BBQ sorted and next thing I know my neighbour starts screaming at us over the fence. I was initially quite taken back by her and asked her what was wrong ( in a very gentle confused voice) she started screaming that she's had it up to the next of people BBQ ing and she's just out out washing and we are extremely selfish for not asking her if it was ok to BBQ! I politely said I'm very sorry to have bothered you but it's my sons birthday and this is only the 2nd time we have had a BBQ so her anger at us is misplaced. She continued screaming at me until she stormed off. I'm now feeling a bit rubbish that my guests aren't even here yet and the day is ruined.

Am I a selfish prat for not arranging this with her first? I genuinely didn't think this was a thing?!

This is so weird…why would you need to inform your neighbours if you’re having a bbq 🙈
It’s never bothered me if they do, haven’t even thought about the washing…some people are very easily bothered! Loud music all day I’m not a fan of..but the bbq wouldn’t bother me

Unless they've got washing out YANBU and neighbour is nuts.

😂

Haven’t read the full thread. How did it go? Did the neighbour say anything more?

@IMustDoMoreExercise I sympathise, we have similar neighbours

Of course you don’t have ask her permission, sounds a bit nuts tbh, if you wanna give her a heads up that your having a bbq fair enough but not asking if you can have one,… and now she’s been a bitch about it, I’d have more just to piss her off…

It's only on MN that I've ever seen someone suggest that you ought to. Does this go for pizza ovens too? Imagine knocking on your neighbours door every time you want to cook your dinner.

I’m with your neighbour to be honest. Barbecue smoke is horrible and it does get into everything. It’s polluting as well.

We live in an area where everyone BBQ’s all the time, year round. No one takes their own washing in when bbq’ing let alone worries about the effects of next doors bbq. How very odd.

I don't have a bbq, several of my neighbours do. Rows of small gardens. I literally couldn't care less what they do. There is no conceivable at of circumstances where I would be bothered by it. I hang my washing out and have never noticed an effect. I would never, ever dream of trying to tell my neighbours what to do on their own property. With maybe the exception of something like playing music boat at 3am or something ridiculous and such. I don't understand people who want to control others and feel they have a right to do that, I'm not built that way. Live and let live.

This thread has made me realise that my neighbours never hang their washing outside. Fuck knows how they get it dried.

But no, I never tell them if I'm planning a bbq. I don't know if it annoys but they do things that annoy me too.
It's part of living in a neighbourhood and not in the middle of nowhere.

It’s been wall to wall bbqs around here. I’m veggie so the smell of charring animal is really 🤮but they’ve as much right to bbq as I have to hate it.
Can understand her frustration but screaming at you is out of order.

Ffs 😂

Agreed, earlier today I saw my neighbours bbq smoke literally drift over the wall, it stunk

When we lived in Army quarters in Germany if anyone was having a bbq it often led to items being tossed over fences, 'shove that on for me please' flying Bratties were quite usual!

To be fair, the MN World is a very strange place!

I had this with my old awful neighbour. I'm talking about one BBQ at the back of my garden the entire summer. Wasn't brave enough to speak to me but instead made loud comments and slammed her windows and doors. She was so awful it wasn't worth the hassle so I didn't do it again. It was ok for her to do it though. I recently asked my new lovely neighbour as I wanted to cook a few things quickly and she said "you don't need to ask me, it's your house"! That was a relief. I'm not a regular BBQ'er but I am glad I don't feel like I'm offending somebody now.

No one where I live ever tells anyone about a BBQ. I think that is excessive.

Because it's nobody else's business, right? 🤣🤣🤣

I would be having a weekly bbq to give her something to moan about.

Am I the only one who loves the smell of a barbecue?

You have to laugh at some people's antics/strange behaviour OP!. Our neighbours have barbecues and we would never expect them to inform us! Only on Mumsnet, do people expect to be informed about barbecues. They should live somewhere, where there are no neighbours i.e. the countryside😂

Oh my good I think my neighbours and your neighbour must be related, or perhaps attended the same charm school!!! Why should you ask a neighbour if it’s okay to bbq?! And related to my post why should I ask a neighbour which part of my garden should I put the paddling pool up in so he won’t hear a peep out of children laughing and having fun in it?! X maybe your neighbour needs to move next door to my neighbour then they can both be miserable together!!

Tell her to get fucked.

She's obviously a bit of a nightmare.
But I do get annoyed when my neighbour has BBQ's as I have to dash out to bring washing in and close the back windows. I've had to re-wash so many loads because of her.