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Original poster

Our neighbour has just shout at us for having a bbq

185 replies

arrivalpending · 25/06/2023 19:57

Honestly im quite embarrassed and can't believe this just happened but basically our DS turned 12 on Friday, he's too big for a party but wanted a family bbq with our close family ( my sister, her 2 kids, my parents and DH parents) we had just pottered about the garden and I was getting seats out, hubby was getting BBQ sorted and next thing I know my neighbour starts screaming at us over the fence. I was initially quite taken back by her and asked her what was wrong ( in a very gentle confused voice) she started screaming that she's had it up to the next of people BBQ ing and she's just out out washing and we are extremely selfish for not asking her if it was ok to BBQ! I politely said I'm very sorry to have bothered you but it's my sons birthday and this is only the 2nd time we have had a BBQ so her anger at us is misplaced. She continued screaming at me until she stormed off. I'm now feeling a bit rubbish that my guests aren't even here yet and the day is ruined.

Am I a selfish prat for not arranging this with her first? I genuinely didn't think this was a thing?!

OP posts:
PickledPurplePickle · 25/06/2023 19:59

YANBU she sounds a bit unhinged

clpsmum · 25/06/2023 19:59

You are better than me I would've told her to fuck off tbh!!!

LakeTiticaca · 25/06/2023 19:59

No of course you don't have to ask permission of your neighbours to have a bbq. Tell her to get lost

Palomabalom · 25/06/2023 20:00

would have let them know or invited prior to the day. However it is horrible having washing stinking of smoke so I can understand her irritation. Screaming is probably taking too far though!

FiddleLeaf · 25/06/2023 20:02

God no. It’s none of her business. Get the hose out next time.

TheUsualChaos · 25/06/2023 20:04

She is very unreasonable to shout at you like that. Do think it's courteous to let neighbour if the BBQ is going to be during the day while people might still have their washing out but she certainly doesn't get to grant you permission! Evenings BBQ I wouldn't feel the need to mention it.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 25/06/2023 20:05

When my neighbors have one I have to shut all my windows.

It really annoys me.

Original poster
arrivalpending · 25/06/2023 20:07

I will admit I never really think about it when other BBQ but maybe I need to consider other people next time.

OP posts:
IMustDoMoreExercise · 25/06/2023 20:08

arrivalpending · 25/06/2023 20:07

I will admit I never really think about it when other BBQ but maybe I need to consider other people next time.

Don't you have to shut your windows?

Do you have a gas bbq?

Pkhsvd · 25/06/2023 20:08

Only in the world of munsnet do people ever suggest letting people know about bbqs; I live in an area where gardens are fairly close together and no one ever mentions they are having a bbq or gets funny about washing (at least no one ever says it). I can’t really even say I’ve noticed that washing ends up smelling.

Creamteaforone · 25/06/2023 20:08

She is a dick OP. Don't let her spoil your BBQ. If you were having a bonfire than, yes I would of given her the heads up. BBQ. No. Happy 12th Birthday to your DS. Enjoy your evening and don't give her another thought. If she starts again, offer her a burger.

darkmodeon · 25/06/2023 20:09

I always give my two neighbours a text if we're planning one.

YouOk · 25/06/2023 20:09

Who complains about a bbq at 8pm?

ignore them op and I'll have a sausage in a sub roll, a chicken breast and some mumsnet salad. Oh and a Prosecco. But make sure it's rose Prosecco. Ta.

MissyB1 · 25/06/2023 20:10

We use smokeless things called heat beads so you don’t get the smoke and smell. But even without that I wouldn’t ask the neighbors permission.

KezzaMucklowe · 25/06/2023 20:10

There was a long thread about this last week. Most people didn't tell their neighbours if they were having a bbq.
Both my neighbours on either side have bbqs on a regular basis. It's never made my washing smell.
Your neighbour is being unreasonable.

Bemyclementine · 25/06/2023 20:10

Why would you need to shut your windows?

Your neighbour is bonkers. Unless she was screaming about how nice it smells and demanding a burger. I do think frequent bbq-ers should compensate their close neighbours by way of a plate of tasty bbq food.

DappledThings · 25/06/2023 20:11

People are very odd about barbecues. I don't even take in my own washing when I have one.

AthenaPopodopolous · 25/06/2023 20:11

It is annoying as hell when you e your get loads dryers outside. However it’s her problem. Maybe a heads up next time tho and try to make amends.

morelippy · 25/06/2023 20:11

I am the worlds biggest bbq hater but I grit my teeth and accept what my neighbours choose to do in their gardens is none of my business.

Lighting one when an immediate neighbour has washing out without letting them know you're about to is pretty shitty though. At least give them chance to get it in.

Bivarb · 25/06/2023 20:11

She can get herself to fuck. You don't need to ask her permission to have a bbq in your own garden. I'd be bbq-ing far more just to wind her up

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 25/06/2023 20:12

Actually in my experience it's only on MN that people don't show the common courtesy of telling neighbours you're going to be barbecuing- so that they don't hang washing out. It's not asking for permission to have a barbecue, just a polite heads up that you might not want to put your washing out today.

CheeseandTrees · 25/06/2023 20:13

I love the smell of my neighbours' barbecuing. I've never closed the windows when they, or I, barbecue 🤷🏻‍♀️

IMustDoMoreExercise · 25/06/2023 20:13

Bemyclementine · 25/06/2023 20:10

Why would you need to shut your windows?

Your neighbour is bonkers. Unless she was screaming about how nice it smells and demanding a burger. I do think frequent bbq-ers should compensate their close neighbours by way of a plate of tasty bbq food.

Because all the smoke comes in to my house.

One neighbor has a gas one which is fine. The other one smells like a bonfire.

RagingWoke · 25/06/2023 20:13

I'd put money on your neighbour being a MN user. It's the only place I've ever known BBQs being an issue.

Ignore the bat shit neighbour and enjoy your BBQ!

Hugasauras · 25/06/2023 20:13

Pkhsvd · 25/06/2023 20:08

Only in the world of munsnet do people ever suggest letting people know about bbqs; I live in an area where gardens are fairly close together and no one ever mentions they are having a bbq or gets funny about washing (at least no one ever says it). I can’t really even say I’ve noticed that washing ends up smelling.

Yes indeed. The most I might do is move our barbecue to the other side of the garden if a neighbour has washing hanging out, but they don't tell us when they are barbecuing and nor do we. I've never known it to be a thing!