Incognito job description (lighthearted)

[jacquec]

I don't like to divulge my occupation openly and instead describe it in a, technically accurate, but unrelated sounding way. Whether you actually do this or not, I thought it'd be interesting to see how people would describe their job if they had to make it sound different, and whether we could guess what the real occupation was from said description.

Mine is that I work with candles.

I worry and talk seriously all day about things that will most likely never happen and people bizarrely think I'm pretty good at it.

@blueshoes you're right, and on all levels. Don't apologise - neither do I

I tell people when they can come in and go out of a room. While they are there I give them something but won't let them take it away. What they do with the thing in the room is a secret.

Do you work in fertility clinic collecting samples? 😆

@Needapadlockonmyfridge Yep! Pretty obvious really if you work in those circles.

I break up fights between children who call each other Karen’s

People message me with photos. Mostly of rodents

My job is one where I regularly hear "I couldn't do your job" !

But it entails cutting bits off them with sharps things .
And the are mainly desperate to see me .

FavouriteNuts · Yesterday 23:44

I tell people when they can come in and go out of a room. While they are there I give them something but won't let them take it away. What they do with the thing in the room is a secret.

Safe deposit box worker?

Chiropodist?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · Today 01:27

But it entails cutting bits off them with sharps things .And the are mainly desperate to see me .

Chiropodist / podiatrist?

I run around a lot; sing; write using many different mediums and use the phrase, “That’s not food” quite often.

Parent!!

@Needapadlockonmyfridge nope.

I encourage people to spend thousands each year on something theycould get for free.

Data scientist

People.send me food to try in the hope I'll let them send me loads more

NPD or buyer for a retailer??

Sorry I meant this one. NPD or buyer

This thread is GOLD.

I spend all day trying to persuade other people I work with to do things differently, who don't want to do things differently, because it makes it harder to do their job.

SLT :)

Until recently (redundancy): babysit drunks and junkies.

Currently a friend's apprentice. He's retired 😁

I spend a lot of time saying things like,
"and have you discussed your concerns with them?", and "the policy says..."

CLUE: They haven't discussed their concerns with the person and absolutely everything is my department's fault.

I've no idea what an SLT is so no :)

SLT = speech and language therapist. They often ask people to look at things and say what they are