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Original poster

Incognito job description (lighthearted)

294 replies

jacquec · 05/05/2023 15:14

I don't like to divulge my occupation openly and instead describe it in a, technically accurate, but unrelated sounding way. Whether you actually do this or not, I thought it'd be interesting to see how people would describe their job if they had to make it sound different, and whether we could guess what the real occupation was from said description.

Mine is that I work with candles.

OP posts:
TheFluffiestHobo · 07/05/2023 08:01

I let myself into people's homes, touch all their stuff, then take their money.

SpikyHatePotato · 07/05/2023 08:08

I sit in the dark and tell other people what to do.

I think I work in the same business as @ASGIRC.

ItsMeHiPaperRIngs · 07/05/2023 08:16

FavouriteNuts · 06/05/2023 23:44

I tell people when they can come in and go out of a room. While they are there I give them something but won't let them take it away. What they do with the thing in the room is a secret.

Exam invigilator?

ItsMeHiPaperRIngs · 07/05/2023 08:16

TheFluffiestHobo · 07/05/2023 08:01

I let myself into people's homes, touch all their stuff, then take their money.

Cleaner? Or home organiser?

SinnerBoy · 07/05/2023 08:24

NancyJoan · Today 06:39

I encourage people to spend thousands each year on something theycould get for free.

Cold caller?

purplehair1 · 07/05/2023 08:25

I find lots of interesting places and show them to important people. If the important people really like the places we go back with lots more people and tons of equipment, and play with other people pretending to be someone else. Then we pay a lot of money and tidy up.

blessedarethequichemakers · 07/05/2023 08:28

purplehair1 · 07/05/2023 08:25

I find lots of interesting places and show them to important people. If the important people really like the places we go back with lots more people and tons of equipment, and play with other people pretending to be someone else. Then we pay a lot of money and tidy up.

Location scout for films

TheresAFairyOnMyLightSwitch · 07/05/2023 08:32

I ask people all about their most personal intimate details and then go into their house while they're not there and place things around the place

SinnerBoy · 07/05/2023 08:36

purplehair1 · Today 08:25

I'll go locations manager, too.

FavouriteNuts · 07/05/2023 08:42

ItsMeHiPaperRIngs · 07/05/2023 08:16

Exam invigilator?

Show quote history

Yup.
But fertility samples and safe deposits were very good shots.

EasilyDistracted77 · 07/05/2023 08:43

People tell me where their secret hiding places are and I have to judge whether they are safe enough to leave things in.

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 07/05/2023 08:50

TheresAFairyOnMyLightSwitch · 07/05/2023 08:32

I ask people all about their most personal intimate details and then go into their house while they're not there and place things around the place

Interior designer

FavouriteNuts · 07/05/2023 08:55

My DH once had a job shouting numbers at people. Sometimes they would shout back at him. Sometimes the shouters got money.

TheresAFairyOnMyLightSwitch · 07/05/2023 08:56

Not interior designer! I'd be terrible at that haha

FavouriteNuts · 07/05/2023 08:58

TheresAFairyOnMyLightSwitch · 07/05/2023 08:32

I ask people all about their most personal intimate details and then go into their house while they're not there and place things around the place

Security camera installer.

TheresAFairyOnMyLightSwitch · 07/05/2023 09:02

Nope.

Clue:
I ask them about their bathroom, sleeping and eating habits as well their day to day

Bananasinpjamas4567 · 07/05/2023 09:03

I do statistics, have people tell me I’m wrong, ignore them and everything turns out tickety boo.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 07/05/2023 09:03

@Fridayyesterday @SinnerBoy

Yes Grin
NHS Podiatrist

michealsmum1998 · 07/05/2023 09:07

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 06/05/2023 08:48

I work for a terrorist and must meet their constant demands, I don't get any breaks and I have no rights or even a contract

Your a parent

michealsmum1998 · 07/05/2023 09:08

FavouriteNuts · 07/05/2023 08:55

My DH once had a job shouting numbers at people. Sometimes they would shout back at him. Sometimes the shouters got money.

Auctioneer

FavouriteNuts · 07/05/2023 09:10

michealsmum1998 · 07/05/2023 09:08

Auctioneer

Show quote history

Nope.

Louise295 · 07/05/2023 09:13

I spend millions of pounds a year of someone else’s money

mumda · 07/05/2023 09:24

FavouriteNuts · 06/05/2023 23:44

I tell people when they can come in and go out of a room. While they are there I give them something but won't let them take it away. What they do with the thing in the room is a secret.

Polling station staff?

Original poster
jacquec · 07/05/2023 09:27

MarriedInAHurricane · 06/05/2023 22:49

I push down on a plastic doll, repeatedly.

ALS instructor, 100%.

OP posts:
Ladysaurus · 07/05/2023 09:58

I'm a food taster for vampires.