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Original poster

Incognito job description (lighthearted)

294 replies

jacquec · 05/05/2023 15:14

I don't like to divulge my occupation openly and instead describe it in a, technically accurate, but unrelated sounding way. Whether you actually do this or not, I thought it'd be interesting to see how people would describe their job if they had to make it sound different, and whether we could guess what the real occupation was from said description.

Mine is that I work with candles.

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 05/05/2023 21:48

TillyTollyTully · 05/05/2023 21:11

I spend my day either listening to people thank me profusely and tell me I'm wonderful or to them telling me to get to fuck because I've pretty much ruined their lives.

Hairdresser?

Changedmymindtoday · 05/05/2023 21:57

I pretend to know peoples actual jobs better than they do and talk about it all day.

Twopoodlesarebetterthanone · 05/05/2023 22:20

I am asked to do my job by someone who is elected after telling them how I think they should do it. The end result will make people do things or not do things.

Allthegoodnamesaregoneffs · 05/05/2023 22:42

TillyTollyTully · 05/05/2023 21:11

I spend my day either listening to people thank me profusely and tell me I'm wonderful or to them telling me to get to fuck because I've pretty much ruined their lives.

Civil Service? Something to do with benefits?

dizzydizzydizzy · 05/05/2023 23:39

I stare at water.

Fizzyjuiceisreal · 05/05/2023 23:48

TillyTollyTully · 05/05/2023 21:11

I spend my day either listening to people thank me profusely and tell me I'm wonderful or to them telling me to get to fuck because I've pretty much ruined their lives.

Social worker

Jourdain11 · 05/05/2023 23:53

I read fiction all day

Angrymum22 · 05/05/2023 23:58

I maintain and fabricate odontological equipment.

SinnerBoy · 06/05/2023 00:38

Twopoodlesarebetterthanone

I am asked to do my job by someone who is elected after telling them how I think they should do it. The end result will make people do things or not do things.

You are a Whitehall Mandarin.

blueshoes · 06/05/2023 00:52

Changedmymindtoday · 05/05/2023 21:57

I pretend to know peoples actual jobs better than they do and talk about it all day.

This one is easy. Consultant.

MerlinsButler · 06/05/2023 00:58

WonkyFeelings · 05/05/2023 15:33

People pay for me to stab them.

Acupuncturist?

WouldYouLikeYourMuffinButtered · 06/05/2023 01:33

I wear special shoes and so does everyone else. Visitors are not allowed without them.

ElliePascoe · 06/05/2023 01:57

I encourage my colleagues to start new relationships without leaving in their existing ones

WaxingGibbon · 06/05/2023 02:04

I listen to peoples problems and also tell them how to do their jobs better. Sometimes I'm deliberately a bit rude to them to see if I can get away with it. They never notice because they think I'm very wise and caring. I'm neither of those things.

Poppins2016 · 06/05/2023 02:09

I was once introduced to someone who said she was a "specialist cleaner"... turned out she specialised in colonic irrigation!

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 06/05/2023 02:11

WouldYouLikeYourMuffinButtered · 06/05/2023 01:33

I wear special shoes and so does everyone else. Visitors are not allowed without them.

Slipper enforcer at Tsarskoe Selo?

MrsFezziwig · 06/05/2023 02:13

@butterfly990

TSSU?

NancyDrooo · 06/05/2023 02:16

I describe diamonds

Twopoodlesarebetterthanone · 06/05/2023 02:18

SinnerBoy · 06/05/2023 00:38

Twopoodlesarebetterthanone

I am asked to do my job by someone who is elected after telling them how I think they should do it. The end result will make people do things or not do things.

You are a Whitehall Mandarin.

Yep

tobee · 06/05/2023 02:22

There needs to be more guesses soon. And answers.

Grin
SinnerBoy · 06/05/2023 02:26

Jourdain11 · Yesterday 23:53

I read fiction all day

You are an MP's secretary.

NotMeSecretFormular · 06/05/2023 02:27

Small animal zoo keeper

someoneisalwaysintheloo · 06/05/2023 02:45

My job is to decipher intricate enigmas hidden in a cosmic web.

chickenwings2 · 06/05/2023 03:07

TheDogsMother · 05/05/2023 16:07

I'm very nosey about people. I then share that information with other people for money.

I want this job!

Maverickess · 06/05/2023 03:24

@Mostar and @PuttingDownRoots nope! No where near as skilled as either of those!

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