Incognito job description (lighthearted)

[jacquec]

I don't like to divulge my occupation openly and instead describe it in a, technically accurate, but unrelated sounding way. Whether you actually do this or not, I thought it'd be interesting to see how people would describe their job if they had to make it sound different, and whether we could guess what the real occupation was from said description.

Mine is that I work with candles.

You are a childsnatcher.

As part of my job I poison people, with their full and enthusiastic knowledge.

I watch other people so that other people can work.

I delete cats.

You write all the David Walliams novels based on notes hastily scribbled on napkins and the backs of envelopes.

I tell people about their future.

You are employed by Facebook to remove stupid photos that take up too much space on their servers.

You are a kebab chef.

You are a rooftop sniper at the House of Commons.

Botox or warfarin.

You are also a kebab chef.

I dress up and look at erections.

I make sure things are the right size and standing up properly in the right place

I write things that make people very happy or very upset and cross with me.

I convince people to do stuff

I see a lot of bums.

I snoop up on people and companies to make sure they are not crooks.

Scout or Guide leader

@Mostar You got me! Bugger, I better name change😆😆

StamppotAndGravy · Today 17:38

Marine surveying. Not that exciting, but it really annoys the fish.

There's a distinct possibility that we know each other....

😂

I wake people up

I delete cats

You work in a bank @fivetriangulartrees? Continual Authority Transactions?

I spend my day either listening to people thank me profusely and tell me I'm wonderful or to them telling me to get to fuck because I've pretty much ruined their lives.

@TillyTollyTully

Prime Minister?
Customer Services at Amazon?