My vibrator has disappeared…

[Ummmwhereisit]

Name changed for this because vibrators.

I’m home alone and was about to indulge in a spot of alone time before having a quick nap.

My vibrator is not in the hidden box in my bedside drawer as usual. I have absolutely no idea where it is. I’ve searched my partners bedside drawer and it’s not there either. I use it infrequently so can’t recall when I had it last but I’m 99.99% certain it will have gone back in the box that it always does… it’s an old box for something unrelated, think iPhone type, with an insert in and the vibrator sits neatly underneath so even if someone were to open the drawer and get as far as opening the box they wouldn’t necessarily know it was there. Obviously partner knew.

We had a few days away last week and both the cleaner and my parents had keys for the house. I was away last night and am not long home.

Where the fuck is it and who the fuck has moved it?

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If you've found this page in your search of how to store sex toys at home and for travel, you might find our guide to the best sex toy storage useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Not sure what happened there, but I just watched episode 4 of the BBC Universe series, about supermassive black holes.

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p09ybycz/universe-series-1-4-black-holes-heart-of-darkness

when my son was 10 years old he appeared at the top of the stairs and said ' mum what is this' with vibrator in hand a rampant rabbit, I cannot even remember what I said but I told him recently and we laughed about it, he is 21 now and talk about everything and he laughed when I told him.

The kids or parents have found it on accident and were disgusted by it so haven’t returned it.
Pretend like nothing happened and buy a new one

If you don't know where it has been, do you really want it back?

@ChrisConary

If you don't know where it has been, do you really want it back?

She's found it and thrown it away

This is the exact reason I only buy pretentiously sculpted sex toys that don’t look too much like actual dicks. Because if my kids ever find them, I kid myself it will be that little bit less horrifying for everyone 😳

Someone searched your room, foundnit, removed it for a while, then tried to put it back and got the place wrong.

I can’t see your parents doing this. Possibly the dc - ask them, you don’t have to describe the item just that something personal was taken from your drawer, tell them you are about to fire the cleaner so if it was one of them please either say so or slip an anonymous note under the door later saying it wasn’t the cleaner.

If dc deny it I would probably change the cleaner. 😔 Speaking as someone who has had a cleaner steal underwear in the past!

I'm wondering whether you could have left it out by mistake or innocently dropped it and the cleaner found it and put in that tin because she didn't know where else to put it.

That's a relief oh no it wasn't was it....! 😂 IO, I've just read that your thread has had 22,000 views!!! 😂 😂 😂

Is day one of your kids. My best friend used to live going into what her mum thought was a secret box of toys and show me everything. I found it a bit weird but she seems to be fascinated with it. I guess she was searching around hard to find it in the first place.

What would really make this creepy - and I might develop the idea for a short story - is if you realised that the one you found wasn’t the same one.

Maybe your husband fell on it and he's in a & e

@Ummmwhereisit

It’s gone straight in the bin anyway. And I’m now researching lock boxes.

Defo was the kids. Glad its been found. I've got a lockbox from lovehoney, its pretty good, check it out.

Have you not got the ‘find my vibrator’ app

@enchante23

Is day one of your kids. My best friend used to live going into what her mum thought was a secret box of toys and show me everything. I found it a bit weird but she seems to be fascinated with it. I guess she was searching around hard to find it in the first place.

Sorry for the typos. Should read its def one of the kids !!

@rwalker

Check the kitchen draws have in laws tidy up and mistaken it for a whisk

Dying here

I absolutely think this is your younger DD being curious.

Sounds like a 'mum' thing to me, shes been having a snoop around your bedroom and come across the box in the drawer. You probably think she wouldn't think to check inside an iPhone box, but they're quite wise when it comes to things like this. She saw your vibrator and for whatever reason has confiscated it. Is she a bit Conservative when it comes to matters of personal pleasure? In which case, she probably wouldn't mention it again to anyone afterwards. But she feels she has saved your soul from that heinous unnatural husbandstealer.

Do you have a teenage daughter?…

If it was another person snooping they'd have put it back where they found it right ? I was a 'curious' (nosey) kid and no way would I have put it back elsewhere.
My moneys on the cleaner finding it under the bed or something - as U can't remember when it was last used - and that looked like the place you might keep it.

I have sons in their 20s but none of mine have ever ever understood the word boundaries so I've never kept this kind of stuff in my house because there isn't a place that is sacred lol. They root through everything. Even take my husband's socks haha. Guarantee one of them has found it, accidentally broke it having a laugh then binned it

They know you ain't gonna ask them about it

Perhaps your mum and dad have been using it

I had this with my daughter when she was 6 and I said it was a drinks mixer. AKA Parenthood.

Given how many of us on this thread either did or know someone who snooped in our parents' drawers as kids then I think that is most likely here too.

@CIaireFraser

DC has found it, dropped/broken it, thrown it away in an outside bin.

I found my mum's copy of The Joy Of Sex when I was about 12 and snooping in her wardrobe for Christmas presents. To this day whenever I see a beard I have flashbacks.

OMG the beard was the first thing that sprung to my mind when you mentioned The Joy of Sex! 😭😭😂😂