Three words you never EVER want to hear from your DP

[GulliBelle]

Mine are, "We could camp".

"I just farted" which translates to "I'm warning you that this one is super stinky and I'm sorry you're trapped in the car with me and you're gonna start gagging"

you look old

Working from home

"We could camp" screams in horror.

"Let's go out!"

Noooooo. Let's stay in where it's warm and dry and I won't have to speak to anyone except the cat and possible you.

I cooked dinner!

Aka I have taken out literally every single utensil, pan, plate and gadget we own, and used it.

”Why don't we...” followed by a previously discussed and rejected suggestion.

For arguments sake..

You look tired.

Mum’s coming over...

"By the way ..."

This always presages massive disaster.

Conversely: 'Oh my God, you won't believe this' tends to indicate a minor problem, such as we've run out of baked beans.

Taking early retirement

I was just...

He never fucking finishes that sentence. Ever. Drives me bloody nuts

100% agree with "We could camp"!

Mine only needs to say one word... “so”. If he starts a sentence “so....” I know that it’s going to be big news that’s potentially life changing/expensive/something crucial he’s forgotten to tell that

Husband : I was thinking....
Me: No!!! Please don't think!!! Just do what I m telling you!!!!

Also, " I made bread" which translates to "I've trashed the entire kitchen, there's flour everywhere and now I'm going to be offended when you don't want to sample said (inedible) bread."

It won't flush...

The cricket’s on.. 😴😴

I'm trying to....

Oh, you choose.

I'm so tired

(What!!!! No. I'm tired 😠)

I’m terminally ill

Out of wine

‘I’ve an idea’ (I know it’s 4 but it always mean ‘here’s a job/project for you to get on with’)