Three words you never EVER want to hear from your DP

[GulliBelle]

Mine are, "We could camp".

'Are you pregnant?' nosy checkout lady

(I'm 50 and have been though menopause)

I replied 'no, are you?'

Stuck in work...... which means I am in charge of feeding, bathing and getting DS ready for bed alone.

What’s the plan?

Roughly translated this means ‘I am hungry, when’s dinner’ or ‘you’re on your phone and I am bored’

That makes him sound awful, he’s really not!

I get:"quick question...", which is a pass agg way of drawing my attention to a perceived slip up on my part. Usually met with:"if you don't like it, do it yourself."

Let's get a caravan

Whoops that was 4

Oops, sorry, it's from DP, not some random!

From 'D'H 'what is it?' when answering the phone to me.

I suppose so

“Sweetheart sweetheart sweetheart”

“Sweetheart” is what he calls me he is cross. Repetition is how he controls conversational space.

“Talking to Mum...” or its equally shit sibling “talking to Sister”

Inevitably this is a casual conversation where DH has firmly committed to a horrific social engagement without a) looking at a diary to check for clashes b) thinking about whether I or any of the teens want to go c) has offered to bed/board extended awkward family members that involves one or other of us taking time off work to accommodate their stay.

Oh I'm easy .....

Standard response to What would you like for dinner ? where do you fancy going on holiday ? when would you like to go out with X and X ?

How can I explain that being easy makes a person far from easy

Let’s go the back way. Not a euphemism . He can’t stand being stuck in traffic and would rather go a couple of miles out of our way down back roads with grass growing up the middle of them where if you encounter an oncoming vehicle you have to reverse for a quarter of a mile to let them past than sit in a jam for ten minutes.

Iv'e been thinking.........

It won't cost much...

Let's get married

Visit my mum

@GulliBellethat made me roar with laughter

It was a favourite of my ex
His other three word gems were
“Don’t get annoyed” followed by whatever
“How about we”
“I was wondering”
“You know that”
“Off to the loo”
“Give me five minutes”

And my all time favourite
“I’ve been thinking”

@Sweetpotatoaddict

I'm right again. Oh, you think so? Nope, that would be a first, darling.

Don’t love you

Condensed from, I don’t love you anymore

...then all hell letting lose.

Cat’s dead again.

Every single time she requires a gentle poke to establish that she’s just asleep in her best rigour mortis position. I dread the day when it’s the actual rigour mortis position!

I’ve an idea... followed by some crappy idea that’ll cost a fortune 🤦🏼‍♀️

I can't think of anything that's just 3 words.

I'm now poor

Only joking! 😆

I’ve met someone.