Three words you never EVER want to hear from your DP

[GulliBelle]

Mine are, "We could camp".

Football is on

Did I mention ..... followed by something he knows I won't like to hear, and he definitely didn't mention .....

alternatively ....

"I've no idea ...." by way of saying I don't know, but spoken in a sort of patronising "why the hell are you asking me such a stupid question" sort of way. Often used in responses to "What time is it?", "What would you like for dinner?" sort of questions. AARRGGHH!!!

"Don't get cross but..."
(usually means he has broken something of mine - he's cack handed!)

"Had a thought......"

Not for me, but OH groans whenever I say “I was thinking”

Did you come?

Found another Motorbike

"It's not there!"

Followed by me saying "Are you sure? Do you know the difference between looking and seeing? Will I find it immediately?"

(it) will be fine (so I cheated!) - followed by "it always is!" yes of course its fine because I have been doing the organising packing liaising etc with everybody
it drives me nuts - dh floats through the world assuming everything just happens - he a lovely guy - but...
Or
aren't you ready yet? Well actually dear I have been up & ready for hours (& this use to include the 3 dc as well) but you got up a lot latter & I haven't been able to get you out of the bathroom - argh!

“Where’s the newspaper?”
Which meant” I’m off to the toilet for half an hour or so, leaving you to deal with everything else”

“I cooked dinner”
“I did Shopping”
“It’s my birthday”
“It’s your birthday”

Any combination of the above meant that he had sexpectations

Let's exercise together

"I'm simply saying..."
which means I'm now going to argue my (previously rejected for good reasons) point again and be even more patronising by trying to imply that you didn't understand the first time...

When I hear "Why don't we...?" my answer is often "I hope that's the Royal we"

@wendywoopywoo222
Same as you Formula 1 weekend , Trouble is it's not just the weekend it's Friday practice x2 then Saturday qualifying and then Sunday Grand Prix which you can always guarantee is on at a time to interfere with any other plans we make ,
Can't go anywhere very far as he likes to watch it live and often on early afternoon which buggers up going for a day out but finishes too late to head off out after .

Not to worry you .Yep 4 words designed to do exactly the opposite obv!

School called today

We have just come out of many years of low level bullying of my child and various things relating to not concentrating/reaction to people bullying etc etc.

@Wincarnis
😂

"I don't know" - Seriously... I'm actually asking for input here!

Four words...

"I'll think about it" - That one gives me the rage! Always means no so why not just fucking say no!

"Don't panic, but..."

Inevitably something is broken and something very important has been forgotten.

Luckily all his other words are nice so I can tolerate it

I don't know...

No, you don't. You never flaming do. Because you assume I will know, and I probably will, but it would be great if you could know occasionally too!

And breathe...

“I don’t mind” or “whatever you want” which are his responses to every single question I ever ask him. I wish, just for once, I didn’t have to make every decision.

"All is well"

He thinks this is calming and soothing and says it with the best of intentions which means I can't reply the way I want to, which is "No it sodding isn't, that's why I'm so sodding upset!" and instead have to seethe inwardly.

He's a diamond and I'm very grateful to have him but GOD that particular phrase drives me bonkers.

“You feeling horny?”

Well, don’t want to hear at at the moment anyway as I’m on and I feel like shit!

My mother’s staying

Please indulge me...

Oh, for fuck's sake. This means he's going to dive into an internet rabbithole of shite shows to try and illustrate a point that he's going to have forgotten about in 4 hours.

Think I've almost put a stop to it, though. I started providing a feminist critique of the shite he was showing me. Once you've identified Louis CK as 'coming across as a creepy rapist guy' before he's been outed as such, refused to ever watch It's Always Sunny on the grounds that 'this is aggressively misogynistic' before the 'Ha ha, isn't is funny, one character coerces women into sex out of fear of being murdered' episode is released and pointed out that Larry David/Curb Your Enthusiasm is misogynistic to its very core, you don't tend to get inflicted with quite so much shite.

His never ever words from me are most likely along the lines of 'A feminist perspective...', not just because it means I'm about to point out all the vile things that pass for comedy, but because it means I have well and truly had enough for the night.